Chosen Darkness
by donnethan.valentyne.9
Summary: Co-Written by Kusanosakura. Pairings: HarryxGeorge, FredxHermione, Future drarry Summary: An ostracised Harry trapped in the Muggle world starts plotting when a Dementor in Little Whinging forces him to defend himself and his cousin. Harry's choice to save Dudley changes his relationship with his cousin.if only that were all it changed...
1. A Tilted World

DISCLAIMER: We do not in any way shape or form own Harry Potter or any other licensed or trademarked items that may happen to be present in this story. as sad as that may be...

Authors Note: First of all, I'd like to thank me dear friend and brilliant co-writer without whom this story couldn't have been possible as my writing skills are abysmal at their best. A Great BIG Thank you to the Lovely Kusanosakura. second, this all came about from me wanting to read something and not being able to find it. soooo we took it upon ourselves to write it. It's new and definitely different. but I hope you'll like it just as much as I do. Thank You

_**Chapter one**_

Apparently, wanting to know what was going on in the world was a crime.

Every time he wrote to Sirius, Hermione or Ron they brushed him off, told him not to worry about it or said they couldn't say in case the owl went astray.

The Daily Prophet was about useless with its feverous insistence that Voldemort wasn't back which was spoon-fed to them by Ministry.

He got sick or letters saying they were 'busy' and couldn't talk.

Hadn't he showed that he could handle things? He was a Triwizard Champion, he duelled Voldemort, he beat a basilisk and even beat the professors' chambers to find the philosophers stone.

He was a bit miffed at the whole thing.

Of course he was lying under a window to hear the Muggle news because hopefully they'd at lest mention anything strange...

The six o'clock news came to an end.

Aunt Petunia called out the opened window that was vainly attempting to make use of a non-existent breeze.

"Harry!"

Harry wiggled out of the flowerbed as silently as he could and dusted himself off.

"Yes?"

Aunt Petunia's nose wrinkled, "What were you doing napping in the dirt? Dudley's manners are better then that."

Harry sighed, "It's so hot that the closer you are to ground the cooler it is."

"Go call,"

Petunia's words were drowned out by a loud noise like a gunshot.

Harry knew that noise; it sounded an awful lot like Apparating.

Who could it be? An Order come to tell him when he'd finally get to go stay with Sirius?

Petunia hissed, "What did you do?"

Harry frowned, "I didn't do anything."

Honestly he was getting sick of being accused of things all the time.

It started when he was young with Dudley accusing him of stealing his food...

Then it progressed to whatever mess Dudley made and blamed on him until the day it became quite clear he'd never do anything right.

Getting good marks ended up in arguments about his being a cheater or trying to unset his cousin. She his effort into school declined.

It wasn't until last year during the tournament that he actually tried to work on his studies seriously. Without Ron to distract him he had decent Marks. Nothing like Hermione but he did better then usually.

He actually managed to brew a few potions well enough that Snape was quiet, no insults but no compliments either. Which probably meant he did all right...

He hated being treated like a liar, a cheater and a thief...

You could act like a good boy and no one bought it.

If he was such a perfect Gryffindor why did the Hat want to put him in Slytherin.

"Don't like to me boy." Petunia snapped.

"I'm not lying! I didn't do anything." He held out his hands, "I haven't got any sort of noisemaker."

"Fine! Don't go getting up to mischief. Go fetch Dudley for dinner; he's at Mrs. Polkiss'. They had him over for tea."

Harry nodded putting his hands in his pockets.

One thing was for sure Dudley most certainly didn't spend tea at a different mate's house every day of summer break.

Dudley spent his days beating up primary school kids for money and smoking on street corners.

Apparently his cousin had won some prestigious boxing match. Brilliant just let a bully get praised for being able to throw a hamfisted punch. Well he must have had some use for having served as Dudley's punching bag for eleven years.

Harry ambled Privet Drive towards the park he knew that he knew was frequented by Dudley and his 'gang.'

He found them but they were exiting the park by the Magnolia road entrance.

Since he'd come for no real reason he didn't see a need to actually call out to his cousin.

So he just trotted along behind him boredly, snatches of their conversation floating back to him.

It was rather boring since it was about some poor kid Dudley and his gang beat up.

Since he didn't want to be the next target he said nothing.

The group split up halfway down Magnolia Road, by the time Dudley reached Magnolia Crescent he was alone. Dudley was clearly hungry because he was already hurrying his whale sized frame.

It wasn't until they neared the alley that led to Wisteria Walk that Harry sensed trouble.

Month of them hovering around Hogwarts and you get to sense them.

Dementors...

What were Dementors doing in Little Whinging?

Harry wasn't skilled at 'Harry hunting' for no reason, he darted in front of Dudley and tugged his wand out.

"Dudley get down and close your mouth."

Dudley growled, "Get out of my way freak! I'll be late for dinner."

Harry scanned the area with a frown, "This is my world here. A monster is here Dudley the sort of monster that eats souls. I know you don't much care about me but have a thought for yourself, it will kill you if I let it. Personally, I'd rather not be accused of killing you."

Then cold filled the alley from both ends, a thick fog condensed around them. The indigo sky that was just beginning to shimmer with stars as they'd walked was blotted out like the shadow cast by a giant had fallen over them.

Harry hissed "Back against the wall Dudley. Cover your mouth Don't open it! What ever you do don't open it!"

Dudley didn't argue with him, the fact that he was pointing his wand away form him probably had something to do with it.

"You know stories about grim reapers and boogie men? That's what's causing this. So stay still."

Harry heard the Dementor's take long deep breaths, which he remembered from Remus' lectures that were their way of tasting a prospective victim.

"Hang the Restriction on Underage sorcery!" Harry muttered, "Lumos."

The wand light up so bright that that Harry quickly realized that there were two Dementors just like he suspected.

"I don't think you can see them but I know you can feel them. Stay behind me. I'll keep them away."

Harry closed his eyes and selected his memory of Sirius inviting him to live with him.

He yelled, "Expecto Patronum!"

His stag leapt at the first with his horns up and tossed it into the air before whirling and landing hooves first in the other Dementor's chest.

It writhed and screamed which was more like a loud sucking sound before it seemed to smoke.

Pinned the ground by a Patronus it couldn't free itself and the light from Patronus apparently managed to kill it, leaving nothing but a scrap of rotting black fabric.

The stag looked bored.

Harry had an inspiration, "Find Padfoot. Tell him that there were Dementors in Little Whinging. I'm alright for now."

The stag bowed and then leapt into the air.

The sky, stars and street lamps at the ends of the alley had popped back to life. They had always been there just beyond the foggy island of cold dark despair. the sight of them was like the promise of heaven.

Dudley had slid down the wall and was shivering, his hands still clamped to his mouth.

Then their neighbour and Harry's sometime babysitter Ms. Figg ran into the alley panting

She looked panicked, her grey hair falling form its hairnet and her tartan carpet slippers were half off her feet. Clutched in her hand was string shopping bag

Harry let out a pent up breath and began to slip his wand back into his back pocket.

She hissed at him, "No! Mo, Don't put it away! There might be more of them. I told Albus not to hire him. He's unreliable. Mundungus is nothing more than a sneaky thief."

Harry frowned at her, "Who?"

"Fletcher is your Order Bodyguard. You think that Albus would leave you with You-Know-Who around without protection. Really leaving you to my care? Over a bunch of cauldrons that just happened to fall off a broom! You're more important then a handful of sickles. I'm going to beat him or better yet, feed him to my cats I will. Come along we've got to get you out of sight." Ms. Figg said wringing her hands.

Harry blinked at her but turned to Dudley, "The monsters are gone. It's okay to breathe now."

Dudley was looking a bit ill and blue in the face.

Dudley was shaking as he unwrapped his huge arms from his face and took in great wheezing breaths.

Harry held out a hand, "Come on. In case the one that got away decides to come back lets get out of here."

"To find a more defensible position." Dudley gasped.

Harry stared at him.

"I pay Warcraft!" Dudley growled, "I know that you don't want to get trapped in a place like this. Seriously, what a team to fight monsters with: a wizard, a cat lady armed with a shopping bag filled with tin cans of cat food and me."

Harry snickered, "What would your parents say if they knew you played a game like that."

"They shouldn't have bought me a computer for school." Dudley retorted weakly. "Everyone plays it at school. Sort of like what is that game you play?"

"Quidditch it's played on a broom and I play for my House." Harry said dully.

The three unlikely companions made their way to Ms. Figg's at Number 7.

It was filled with cats that at closer glance reminded Harry of Crookshanks so they must be part Kneazel.

"I'm not a witch Harry, I don't know what to do." Ms. Figg said wringing her hands.

"Chocolate." Harry said frowning, "That's what Remus gave us it has a calming affect.

"I can't have chocolate because Snowy's allergic to it and she adores it."

Sighing Harry called out, "Dobby?"

Not even sure if the elf could hear him.

It took two minutes for the elf to appear.

Dobby appeared and grinned, "Master Harry Potter sir be calling Dobby? How can Dobby help Harry Potter sir?"

Dudley let out a girly scream making everyone else look at him oddly.

"We had a bit of a run in with Dementors. Would there be anyway we could get chocolate?" Harry asked.

Dobby grinned, "Dumbledore buy Dobby chocolate with his wages. Dobby gladly share."

The elf disappeared with a pop.

Harry nodded, "I knew I heard the crack of apparition before."

"I told you that was Mundungus. He's never been very quiet about his Apparating. He likes to make an entrance and an exit. Useless fool."

Dobby came back with a large bar of chocolate.

Harry accepted it gratefully and broke off half for Dudley, "Since it's made the Muggle way I'm sure it's safe. I know Colin gave some to his dad before."

Dudley stared at the chocolate.

Harry smirked taking an indecently large bite, "See? It's not poisoned."

"What's that?" Dudley stammered.

"I is being Dobby. You is Master Harry Potter's cousin. Master Harry Potter sir is the greatest of wizards and is very kind. Dobby is a house elf. A free house elf. I is liking being paid. Dobby hasn't many friends. Dobby is odd amoung his kind."

Harry sighed, "Just eat the chocolate Dudley."

Dudley, who never met a sweet he didn't like tore into the chocolate and moaned. "This is the best I've ever eaten."

Harry smirked, "I know."

Ms. Figg's door opened and the strong smell of alcohol and sweat filled the room.

A short man in a ragged overcoat with bandy legs entered, an invisibilty cloak over his arm.

He was swaying.

"Wot's up Figgy?"

Ms. Figg got in his face, "Dementors you loysy sneak thief! I told you not to leave your post. Now your charge is in a lot of trouble no doubt! Dementors. If you'd been here then you could have dealt with them an saved Harry the trouble."

"Ain't you the cousin?"

Dudley sneered, "Yeah, what's it to you?"

"Ya cast magic in front of him?"

Harry snorted. "It may be a violation of the Decree against Underage Sorcery but it's hardly that bad. I probably saved his life. Dudley already knows about magic because he knows I'm a wizard."

Dudley nodded, "Yeah."

"You go do something useful and go tell Dumbledore."

Mundungus stormed out

A large tawny owl flew in Ms. Figg's open window.

It landed on Harry's shoulder and stuck its leg out.

Harry had a sickening feeling as he opened it.

Dear Mr. Potter,

We have received intelligence that you performed the Patronus Charm at twenty-three minutes past nine this evening in a Muggle-inhabited area and in the presence of a Muggle.

The severity of this breach of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery has resulted in your expulsion from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ministry representatives will be calling at your place of residence shortly to destroy your wand.

As you have already received an official warning for a previous offence under Section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy, we regret to inform you that your presence is required at a disciplinary hearing at the Ministry of Magic at 9 a.m. on the twelfth of August.

Hoping you are well,

Yours sincerely,

Mafalda Hopkirk Improper Use of Magic Office Ministry of Magic

Harry blinked at the comment about his wand. He looked at Dobby. "I know you aren't allowed to have one. But take my wand to Sirius Black. I'd rather be without it then give it up to be snapped. I don't care what anyone says the Ministry isn't getting my wand."

Dobby swallowed nervously, "You know they'll kill Dobby if they find out."

"Who would tell? We've got a Muggle, a squib and an expelled wizard." Harry snarled. "Besides you owe me. It's your fault I got my room turned into a jail cell. You know you're the one who destroyed Aunt Petunia's crystal bowl."

Dobby wrung his long fingered hands. "Dobby take it but Dobby not touch it."

Harry tugged off his sweat and dirt stained t-shirt, "Keep that." He wrapped the wand in it, "Hurry!"

Dobby disappeared with a soft pop.

Dudley frowned, "that's not right! You got expelled for protecting me! You saved your own life. It's self-defense! I know I'm not very bright but even I know that you can defend yourself. Is this because you might of killed one?"

Harry snorted, "They're just mad because I used Magic in front of you."

"I already know about magic! That stupid giant man of a man gave me a pigs tail." Dudley huffed, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes and frowned at Ms. Figg, "Do you mind?"

She shrugged, "It's not illegal and you need to cool off."

Dudley lit it and then handed it to Harry, "You need it too. Start with small breaths. Don't breathe too deep at first."

Harry took it, he stared at it a moment before he took a puff. He let out a sigh, "Damn, that feels nice."

"You try living as mum's pet. It's sick all her babyish nicknames. It's like I'm a dog or something. They don't know anything about me. You know what's funny? I'm not great at academics but I'm a whiz with computers. I'm designing my own games. I don't want to work for Dad at Grunions but I want to make video games."

"I don't know what I want to do years from now. I know it's fifth year and I'm supposed to know but I don't. Not yet."

They were starting to relax when the next owl arrived.

Harry opened it with a sigh, letting out the smoke he'd just inhaled.

Harry -

Dumbledore's just arrived at the Ministry and he's trying to sort it all out. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR AUNT AND UNCLE'S HOUSE. DO NOT DO ANY MORE MAGIC. DO NOT SURRENDER YOUR WAND.

Arthur Weasley

He snorted. "Already did. just not to them. I hate the lot of them." He crumbled the letter and threw it. he glared at the owl, "No reply. Dumbledore'll sort it out? Hah! Lock me up all summer and leave me here for first time in four years for my birthday and tell me to hang on? I'm sick of this. 'Keep your nose clean Harry. Stay out of trouble Harry' Like Sirius would be a good boy and stay out of trouble! Sirius is innocent and Dumbledore didn't even try to get him off! If they have their wands it's got to be simple to check who blew up a fucking street!"

"Well you better be heading back. Dudley's parents will be worried sick it's past dinner."

The two boys sighed and left the house. They both stared at Number Four with surprisingly equal loathing.

"You know when I have kids I won't spoil them. A guy wants a dad to tell him what he can't do, to tell him about rules and stuff. I've seen what sort of parents my friends have and I'm jealous. Mine just give me stuff and praise me but I don't think they really know me." Dudley muttered.

Harry chuckled, "You? With kids?"

Dudley coughed, "There is a girls school near mine. There is this really nice girl I've met through socials. I started boxing to get in shape. I'm a bit embarrassed about it."

"What if you have a magical kid?"

Dudley shrugged, "Not tell mum. I'd probably try to find you and get you to help. I'm... sort of sorry for being an arse to you. You saved my life from the dements..."

"Dementors." Harry corrected.

"Dementors." Dudley echoed. "I know I've been horrible but I don't think you're a waste of space anymore. I only picked on your because I was jealous you were smart and the teachers praised you. the only class I did better in was Phys Ed."

Harry smirked, "Only because you made sure I was picked last."

They reluctantly crossed the street and made their way inside.

"Diddy?"

Dudley winced, "Hi mum. Is there any dinner left?"

"You're late! Harry! Didn't we send you fetch him?"

Harry opened his mouth to speak.

"I talked to long with my friends. Harry tried to hurry me up but I ignored it. by the time I realized it was this late something bad happened."

Uncle Vernon threw Harry to the ground, "What did you do to my son?"

Dudley did something unexpected, "Get off him!" he threw his father down the hall, then leaned over and held out his hand, "You okay Harry Monsterslayer?"

His mother stared at him like he'd grown two heads.

"I'm used to it Big D." Harry shrugged. realizing he was shirtless, he awkwardly missed his shirt it would have protected him a bit and cushioned his fall.

"It's not right." He grumbled. "When I said something bad happened that doesn't mean Harry did it." Dudley was standing between his parents and Harry. "There were these monsters that attacked us on the way home. Harry saved me! I couldn't see them but they were scary. They blotted out the sky; I couldn't even see my own hand. Then Harry pulled out his wand and told me to stay back. The monster would have sucked out my soul. Harry saved me and he even killed one of the Monsters. It was like being dropped in a frozen pond at night. It was cold and dark. It felt like all my happiness was being drained. Sort of like vampire drinks blood."

"You saved my Dudders from a Dementor?" Aunt Petunia gasped.

Harry stared at her like he'd never see her before, "You know about Dementors?"

"What's a Demendor."

The three spoke as one, "Dementor."

"I heard - that awful boy - telling her about them - years ago," she said jerkily looking apologetically at Uncle Vernon. "They didn't get your...soul did they?"

Dudley snorted, "Of course not! Harry told me to shut up and cover my mouth. They didn't get within five feet of us. I didn't see them but I saw the shiny ghost deer thingy."

Harry blinked, "You can't see Dementors but you saw my patronus?"

"I saw dark smoke coming from the spots where the deer thing attacked. I think it tossed the first into the air and the other it tackled to the ground." Dudley frowned.

"So what's..."

An owl flew through the window.

Harry snarled, "Not another one! Jerks. I'm surprised they haven't shown up yet. Morons at the Ministry! You'd think they'd actually investigate. They let me off last time! but Noooo, just because I said You Know Who returned, I'm the bad guy!"

He tore open the letter.

Dear Mr. Potter,

Further to our letter of approximately twenty-two minutes ago, the Ministry of Magic has revised its decision to destroy your wand forthwith. You may retain your wand until your disciplinary hearing on the twelfth of August, at which time an official decision will be taken.

Following discussions with the Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the Ministry has agreed that the question of your expulsion will also be decided at that time. You should therefore consider yourself suspended from school pending further enquiries.

With best wishes,

Yours sincerely,

Mafalda Hopkirk Improper Use of Magic Office Ministry of Magic Dudley peered over his shoulder reading with him.

"Idiots! So now you're 'suspended' not expelled. You save our lives and they want to punish you? What are they trolls?"

"You know Big D if you had an ounce of magic you'd make a fine member of my quest."

Dudley punched him in the shoulder grinning, "I'd take you any day."

Aunt Petunia looked scandalised.

Vernon's face was so purple it looked like his head would explode.

Another owl, it looked like Ron's Pig the tiny owl was so ADD it was insane. He caught the owl in his fist and took the letter.

"What now?" Vernon snapped. "I'm sick of these damn owls."

Dobby just told us what's happened. What were you thinking giving up your wand to a house elf? Especially at a time like this? Don't leave the house again, whatever you do.

Then Harry looked at the owl. It winked at him.

It wasn't Pig at all.

"Well...you should eat." Petunia stammered.

"Yeah come on Harry." Dudley said slinging a fan arm on his shoulder.

They ate a strained dinner.

The adults looked like they were in another world.

Petunia was clearly in shock and Vernon looked apoplectic.

Dudley dished himself and Harry decent plates of food. Technically, he gave Harry half his normal portion.

Which made them even more visibly upset.

"Hey Harry does your lot have old-fashioned notions about saving someone's life? We learned about it in Anthropology. It used to be believed that is you saved a life you owned them until they saved yours and you were even or something."

Harry shrugged, "I don't know. I've saved a few people and no one mentioned it before."

"You remember Dwayne and Eli who were a few years ahead of us in school?"

"Yeah." Harry said between bites.

"Remember that big fight they had during recess and then they were best friends?" Dudley said after a swallow of milk.

"Yeah why?"

"That's you and me. only you saved my life or at least my soul. You're a decent bloke. Don't let them kick you out of Hogwarts. You're happy there and you've got friends. You actually do your homework. I bet you could do anything you wanted if you want. Maybe you should teach those idiots a lesson."

Harry was thoughtful. "That might be fun. You know Dudley you might have an idea. Paint me into a corner and see what I do. Cage me and poke me with sticks I'll lash out."

The cousins ate dinner and wandered up stairs.

"I've got two things of chocolate you want one?"

"Is it like the chocolate the elf had?"

Harry nodded, "Two huge boxes."

Dudley grinned, "Diet or no diet I can't say no to chocolate."

Harry pulled him into his dreary room and popped up the loose floorboard. He pulled out one of the boxes of chocolate he was sent for his birthday.

"Consider it a late birthday present and a thanks for standing up for me." Harry handed it over.

"Where do you get them?"

"From Honeydukes. I'll buy you some before I head home next June."

"Can't you send me some for Christmas or Easter?" Dudley whinged

"In some ways you haven't changed at all, still whinging for sweets."

"Felt bad that day. You looked so out of place without anything. I did it on purpose 'case mum wouldn't get you anything."

"Huh?"

"The Knickerbocker Glory." Dudley chuckled. "Consider it eleven years of birthday cake."

"What?"

"I was embarrassed you weren't getting anything so a made a stink about not having enough ice cream. What did I get for my trouble? A pig's tail."

"Can Dobby talk now?"

Harry smirked, "You still an owl?"

The house elf smirked, "No.' he changed back, "They're going get you tomorrow night. Dobby overheard them arguing after Dobby handed over the thing." Dobby shivered. "Your Padfoot was gonna kill Dobby. If Hermy hadn't said Dobby was a friend they would have. Dobby hand over thing. They start yelling. Dobby tell that Master Harry Potter give it over for safekeeping. They yell more. Then they decide you must be taken tomorrow.

"About freaking time. They're late this year. Some friends. I've heard more from Hermione then Ron. Ron's keeps trying to sound important but Hermione sounds upset she can't talk. My birthday present was writing in Hermione's handwriting. It said from Ron and Hermione but it wasn't. Ron actually forgot my birthday after I forgave him for his abandoning me and calling me a cheater last year. I 'save' him from the Black Lake and he calls me an idiot. What a waste of time that was."

"So he's leaving tomorrow? What time?"

"Dinner?" Dobby offered. "Having issues trying to figure how to get them out of the house."

Dudley smirked tapping his box of chocolate, "Tell them I'll handle it. I'll start a hue and cry about waiting to eat out. They won't want to believe tonight happened or that we're friends. Clean up this mess Harry. I'll bring you the spare key to your lock in the morning, as Dad's going to want to lock you in. Make sure you eat decent. We studied the effects of anorexia in health class. Sorry Harry I didn't realize the health issues of missing meals before. That's why I try to leave extra. if I'd known Jasmine before I'd have stuck to the diet the school nurse put me on. I'm just eating less and trying to get exercise. I don't exactly beat up kids, I challenge their elder brothers to street fights. I'm not beating up little kids. That boxing match I won the guy was out cold for over half an hour. If I punched a kid I'd probably kill them."

Harry sighed, "Pack? Is getting out of here tomorrow what are they getting at? Leaving me locked up and kept in the dark with regards to what's going on and now they'll let me out? No offence Dudley but this house is hell."

"That's why I'm going to tutoring after school and I'm in study groups. I'm going to go to college so I can get away from this house." Dudley nodded.

"Dobby tell that Mister Dudley get the weird mean Muggles out."

"Thanks Dobby. Tell them I'd really like some answers."

"Well I'm going to turn in. Between the fight and the Dementor I'm beat. Have a good summer Harry and make sure you get off clean. You need me, you know when I'll be."

"Doubt they'll listen to a Muggle. They tend to dislike and not trust you."

"So did you. But you saved me." Dudley retorted.

"Good point Big D."

"Night."

Harry was left alone.

He and Dudley were friends, he was suspended from Hogwarts and he was going to be taken away tomorrow?

The world seemed very tilted right now...


	2. Pig!

DISCLAIMER: nope, still don't own anything save the plot, OC's and OL's. and yeah, still sad.

_**Chapter two**_

Harry woke to being shaken.

"Wake up you lazy prat."

Harry woke up to see Dudley with a tray of food.

"It's not much just eggs, toast and sausage. I brought orange juice. Here."

Harry was surprised his cousin brought him breakfast?"

"It's not going to vanish on you and it isn't a joke. I cooked it but I'm decent. I figured if I was going to live on my own I ought to take a cooking class. Mum sure won't teach me."

Harry sat up and accepted the tray.

Sitting on it was pack of cigarettes and a hot pink lighter.

Harry frowned.

"With the days you've got coming up you'll need them. I've only got two packs left or I'd give you more. I'm going get Gordon's brother to buy use more. I'll give him the winnings from my next fight. I try to only smoke outside when they're out or I'm out. Maybe you've got an older friend or two who'll get 'em for you. sorry about the lighter. Jasmine gave it to me. I'm just not crazy on pink."

"Don't worry Dud, I actually kind of like it. besides, it's a Zippo." then Harry tore into his breakfast, "It's good."

"What you think I'd poison you or something? Seriously. I can cook. Mum about had a heart attack when she came down and I was cooking. I said I missed her birthday cause I was in school and thought I'd do something nice for her for once. She actually started crying." Dudley scoffed, "Wanted an excuse to bring the leftovers upstairs. Told 'em I made too much and that I'd eat it later. Figured if you're going away I oughta at least be sure you eat one decent meal today."

"Are you treating this like a quest?" Harry teased between bites of toast.

"If I had a little magic I could see your world. I'm a bit jealous really. It's the one thing I can't have." Dudley admitted ruefully.

"When you're eighteen I'll take you to the Leaky Cauldron for a drink." Harry offered.

Dudley frowned, "Won't you be underage?"

Harry snorted, "It's a Wizard pub and they'll serve me when I'm seventeen cause that's when I'm legal. Since you're a Muggle I oughta follow your rules."

"Why don't we go for your birthday? Just call me your...what's Old Figg again?"

"A squib, that means her parents had magic but she doesn't." Harry offered as he dug into his eggs.

"Yeah call me your squib cousin. Surely they'll like me better if I'm a squib. I mean my aunt and uncle were magical, you're magical so I'm almost a squib."

Harry burst out laughing and choked on his eggs.

Dudley pounded him on the back., "My food isn't that bad."

"No...I have a friend who called himself that. His parents were magical but he's kind of weak." Harry shrugged.

"Well I'd rather be a squib then a Muggle and a wizard over a squib. I think Magic's pretty cool and I wish I could do it. I won't tell you're a wizard up I'll like to see what you can see."

"Trust me things like Dementors no one wants to see. They are like rotting corpse, slimy like it's been in water, wearing a black cloak. They don't have eyes but they have these hideous mouths. They feed on happiness and souls wanting to drain you of both." Harry said drearily.

"What happened hat gives you nightmares? And who is Cedric? Your boyfriend?"

Harry blanched, "What?"

"I've walked past your room at night sometimes. I've heard you screaming 'Not Cedric! No! Don't be dead!' so what's that about?"

"I saw him murdered." Harry hid his face in his hands, "The man who betrayed my parents and got them killed, killed him. I suppose being his thirteenth murder it gets easier. I hate him. I almost wish I'd let Sirius kill him. Then maybe Cedric would still be live. We weren't dating but we were rivals. We were in this dangerous tournament and we won. His reward was his death. Mine." Harry rubbed his scar from the knife subconsciously, " was that I helped bring the guy who killed my parents back. he was sort of a ghost but they put him back in a body."

"The evil wizard that the giant talked about is back?"

"Yeah. So they've ostracised me with no news, a lot of people like the Ministry don't believe me about Voldy." Harry grumbled. "I show up in shock, panicked and bleeding while clutching a dead body. I had to get dragged away. Of course the person who took me away almost killed me. It seems to be part of my school life something or someone trying to kill me."

"Crazy. If I had to watch someone die I'd probably have nightmares too." Dudley admitted ruefully.

"Tell me about it." Harry muttered turning to his breakfast.

"Well your room looks a bit better. Shouldn't you do laundry?"

Harry nodded, "My dirty clothes are in that old box."

"Well hurry up and finish eating so you can get on with it. I'll talk dad into going out to eat. Don't forget we've got an appointment."

"We'll got to the Leaky Cauldron on my birthday. Promise." Harry finished his breakfast and handed the tray back after taking the cigarettes and the lighter.

"Let me know if you get off. I'm sure that owl of yours can find me."

"Kay."

"Now go wash your clothes."

Harry stretched, "Yes Master Dudley sir." Mimicking Dobby.

"Oh shut up." Dudley said shutting his door.

Harry realized there was something cool in his hand. He turned the lighter over to find a key taped to it.

Damn wasn't Dudley ingenious, what do they teach in Warcraft?

Harry hid the lighter, the key and the cigarettes in his trunk before heading down to do laundry.

A/N yeah, i know. cliff hangers... sadly, you'll just have to get used to them as I'm sure they'll be abundant... *sigh*


	3. A Snarky Harry

**DISCLAIMER:** same old nonsense. we own nothing. save the plot, OC's and OL's.

**A/N:** to those of you who have Favorited or Followed this story, thank you ever so much. and please feel free to review. I'd love to hear what you have to say. even if it's that I'm a terrible person. Suggestions are also welcome. though i cannot promise they will be written in to this story, they may be used for future ones? also **_WARNING:_** **this will eventually be a Male/Male, SLAH, Yaoi** (whatever you want to call it.)** story. ****And if you Don't like it... well, I could care less but you should pro****bably stop reading sometime soon as I'm continuing on regardless. **

_**Chapter three**_

Dudley smuggled him up a sandwich and a bag of crisps before Uncle Vernon locked him in.

Harry sat back and waited.

The Dursleys weren't gone thirty minutes before he heard a crash and clatter from the Kitchen.

Harry frowned and unlocked his door with the key from Dudley and tiptoed down the stairs.

The house was dark and he could hear stumbling.

"Oh dang it all! Lumos!" came a female voice he didn't recognize.

Standing there in the light of the wand was a girl with purple hair, Mad-Eye Moody, Remus, a tall bald black wizard with a gold earring, a slim woman with black hair and bright eyes, an older man with a white beard and the man with the purple frock coat and hat he remembered meeting twice before.

"Well he looks like I always imagined." The girl with purple hair said, "Wocher Harry."

"We ought to be sure it's him. Don't want to bring a spy back with us." Moody muttered.

"What's your patronus?" Remus asked.

"A stag like Prong's." Harry frowned.

"That's him." Remus smiled wearily at him as he held out his hand.

Harry shook his head, "As long as I don't have a wand, I can't get it taken away. I won't let them take it and snap it like they did to Hagrid."

"A wizard without a wand is a Muggle." Mad-Eye glared at him.

"So?"

Remus pulled out a leather holster like he'd seen some of the older students with. Remus put the wand in it, "I know it's late but happy birthday. Its from Padfoot and Moony." He held it out to Harry, "Hang it from your belt. Hermione mentioned you lost it during the Riot last year at the World Cup. It's charmed against Expelliarmus and summoning charms. I choose it cause it looks just like James'."

Harry unbuckled his and put it on. Even with his Muggle attire it seemed to fit him nicely. It was fashioned with black dragon hide and silver. "Thanks I guess."

"This place is really clean. Scarily so. My dad's a Muggleborn and he's a bit messy."

Harry snorted, "Everyone on this street but Figg is like that the pretentious snobs. It's so clean you could eat off the floor. I ought to know she makes me clean it like a house elf most of the time. Can we go? I'm packed already and I can't wait to clear out of this hell hole." Harry stated darkly

"Watch yourself laddie." Mad-Eye snapped.

"Why? They hate me and I loathe them. Only decent one's Dudley and I didn't know that 'til I save him from Dementors and got myself in trouble. What's with that anyway? If this place is so safe how in Godric's name can Dementors and Ministry Owls find me?" " Nosy useless morons at the Ministry. Dudley's right, they've got brains like trolls." Harry retorted.

The two women recoiled along with the black guy and the old man.

Remus groaned, "Please watch your mouth Harry. You ll just get yourself in worse trouble with them."

"It s a witch hunt I tell you. I'm sick of this nonsense. If one of you will summon my trunk you can get me out of this place. The sooner we leave the sooner you can all be rid of me and can go back to insulting me in private where I can't hear you." Harry snipped crossing his arms.

"We can't leave without an all clear." Remus said exasperated.

"Why? If we're invisible who cares?" Harry snorted. "How are we supposed to be leaving?"

"By broom." The purple haired witch offered toying with the handle.

"Between my Firebolt and my invisibility cloak I'm practically non-existent." Harry shrugged. "I want to be out of here before they get back. Dudley said he'd get them out of the house but not how long he could keep them out."

Remus sighed, rubbing his temples and muttered, "Accio Harry s trunk."

Harry dug out his invisibility cloak and his Firebolt. He pulled on the cloak leaving only his head visible. "Somebody shrink that for me and I'm ready."

A silvery patronus a weasel arrived and talked in Mr. Weasley s voice.

"No sign of wizards or witches. It's clear."

Harry smirked, "Can we go then?"

The others seemed stunned at him.

Mad-Eye was furious and Remus resigned.

"Alright but we all stay in formation. If anyone dies keep going even if our package is a brat. Albus told me he was good kid."

Harry snorted.

Remus poked him;, "Please behave."

"I am 'behave'. I'm sick of being trapped in this house and told to be a 'good boy'. I defend myself and now I'm the evil spawn of Satan even in the Wizarding World. Really like it s my fault Voldy's back! If I'd realized that the scum coming was Wormtail maybe I'd have done something and Cedric would be alive but no I was an idiot child who didn't realize the danger, injured and relying on a pathetic Hufflepuff!"

"Cedric was a great guy!" the purple haired witch snapped.

"Oh really? He had to get spoon-fed the challenges by me a Fourth Year and the Fake Moody. A giant Man-eating spider I saved him from really would have eaten him if I hadn't saved him. I told him to take the Cup but he insisted I do it. We shared it and he got killed because he was too stupid to react like the adult he was and take up a defensive stance. I'm sorry he's dead but its partially his fault." Harry fumed. "I'd like to know how the Ministry explained his death away if Wormtail didn't kill him on Voldy's orders." Harry shivered slightly at the memory of Voldemort's 'Kill the spare.' .

The purple hair witch crossed her arms. "You're very different then I thought."

"Sorry to disappoint you." Harry snorted.

"He's in a temper like Lily." Remus sighed. "We should go." He shrunk Harry's trunk and handed it to him.

They made their way towards the kitchen casting disillusionment charms on themselves with the exception of Harry.

Harry climbed on his Firebolt.

Remus disillusioned the broom and cast sticking charms on the cloak to hold it to the broom and Harry.

Harry could somewhat make out his adult companions.

They surrounded him and all kicked off together.

Following Remus who seemed to reluctantly take point.

Mad-Eye was behind them and his staring did not improve Harry's mood. He really didn't care much for that weird ass eye...

Harry was sandwiched by the two witches who didn't seem to like him much.

That was fine with Harry he was not out to make friends with Adult strangers. He was peeved with adults in general and it would take quite a bit for Remus and Sirius to get on his good side.


	4. Number 12 Grimmauld Place

_**DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS:**_ Well, you should know the drill by now. I see no need in continually  
stating the things we do and do not own. if you really MUST see them again, like if you have your heart set on it, please see chapter 1.

TO THE GUEST THAT POSTED THIS- _ - "Where are all the comments?! This is so good, I like the direction in which you've taken it already! I'm glad Harry's seen behind the Ministry's machinations early. Now he can wise up, actually realise his badass potential and take on the world! Lol, you can ignore that last part if you want."-_- I'd like to thank you for commenting. and you have no idea how much badassery is going to happen with Mr. Potter. now just between you and we, *leans in and whispers* this chapter is dedicated to you for being the first reviewer.

* * *

_**Chapter 4**_

Harry's first impression of 'Headquarters' was that hiding it between two Muggle Houses was idiotic.

It was dark, dreary and who the hell lived here?

Remus led him inside.

The first thing that Harry noticed was he was tackled by a large black dog and licked to death.

"Gerroff." He said shoving the dog off.

The dog shimmered and turned into Sirius who was pouting.

"Come on! I have seen you in months! Let me be a little happy you're here."

"Oh I'm happy you all finally saw reason to get me out of that hell hole and I'm grateful to be anywhere but the Dursleys, the pretentious rotten gits. I'm furious you ad me spied on by a useless moron who let me be attacked by Dementors. I'm on better terms with my cousin, thank Merlin I have an ally in that terrible place now. But I blame you adults for letting me be in such a situation. You have me ostracised as if I did something wrong. Ordering me to be a good boy and stay out of trouble. Yet one of your number let me get in a fix like this. I'm suspended and its not fair. I'm mature enough to know life isn't fair if it were I'd be a normal boy with parents but no I'm the thrice damned Boy Who Effing Lived."

"Feel better?" Sirius asked warily.

Harry nodded. "For the moment. Now if you'll show me where I'm sleeping I'll toss my stuff."

"You're sleeping with me." Ron interrupted.

"The hell I am." Harry snorted. "I want my own room. If I'm going to stay somewhere I want some space that's mine. Not a dormitory I share with other boys or a room full of unwanted junk that should have been put in the bin."

Sirius chuckled, "That's fine. I'll put you in my old room and Ron can move elsewhere."

Harry followed Sirius up a steep staircase framed by walls with peeling paper and mounted house elf heads.

He was led into a room that was decorated in Gryffindor colours and covered with posters of still motorcycles and Muggle women in skimpy bikinis.

Harry was sick at the sight of them. "No thank you. Ron can kip in here and I'll find new accommodations."

He walked across the hall and opened a door to find green and silver, the four-poster had green velvet curtains and the wood was black. Carved into it were trees and dragons.

"I'll take this."

There were no practically naked women. There were some tasteful tapestries but no posters or paintings.

"What? Why do you want Reg's room?" Sirius stammered.

"Well I think the Gryffindor thing in the other is overdone and two I don't like the look of those posters. Besides the bed is cool and it looks comfortable. Who is 'Reg'?"

Sirius sighed, "My brother Regulus, he was a year behind me and a Slytherin. He was the family's 'good boy' because he was a Slytherin and did everything he was supposed to. He even became a death eater the summer before his would be seventh year. Died though. It was in the paper. No cause of death was given. Father died soon after. He didn't take the news well. For an absentee father ruled by my mother, he died over that? I never understood him."

"Well I like this room and I'll sleep here." Harry said stubbornly as he pulled his trunk out, "Can't you unshrink this?"

"No. The wards are created to keep the ministry from sticking their nose into Black business. Even the Trace is null and void here. You can use all the magic you want and the Ministry can go fuck themselves."

"Sirius! Language. Hello Harry."

Mrs. Weasley….

She hadn't sent him anything for his birthday either. No cakes, no fudge, no food... not even one of those idiotic sweaters she was so fond of forcing on her brood and so he was bit miffed with her too.

"Hi." Harry ignored her mostly, "Finite incantatem."

"Aren't you in enough trouble for using magic?" Molly snipped.

"I have permission. The Ministry can go hang themselves. I had no choice but to do magic. I really don't care what they have to say. They aren't getting my wand and if they expel me I'm never returning to the Dursleys. I hate them, they hate me."

"Now Harry I know they're Muggles so they are a bit different and not like us."

"Not like us? Hardly, they hate magic. They hate me and I don't much care for them either. They told me my parents died in a car accident and my father was a unemployed drunk. The made me sleep in a cupboard and work like a house elf. My window had bars on it again. There is a cat flap in my door and I'm locked in my room when I'm not supposed to be cleaning. So pardon me if I wish my aunt would accidentally burn down her house someday while cooking and my uncle gets killed by one those giant drills his company makes." Harry said with his back to them.

"Harry such venom it's just not like you. I thought you were a sweet boy…" Molly said with a sad tone.

"Sweet? Me? No just ask Snape. I'm a spoilt arrogant little brat who can't be bothered to apply himself. My aunt would gladly tell you I'm a worthless little freak who will never amount to anything. My uncle said the Hogwarts is St. Brutus' School for Incurable Criminal Boys and I'll end up in trouble with the law some day. His sister thinks I'm not being punished enough and wants to have the school informed to beat me more because its obviously not having the proper affect."

"Harry I'm sure your relatives wouldn't say anything like that."

"Oh really? Ask your husband what sort of people he met when he blew out their electric fire last summer? They still aren't happy and had to buy a new one last winter because it never worked right after 'our lot' meddled with it. If the Ministry bothered to deflate my aunt and Obliviate her why didn't they do the same to the rest of my Muggle family?" Harry snapped exasperated as he went to put his clean clothes in the wardrobe to find them full. He set his own clothes down and held up the shirt to find it fit roughly.

"Well I assume that's because it was an accident so they didn't bother. Besides it was accidental magic." Molly said shortly.

"Well my first warning wasn't even my fault! It was Dobby's. He levitated the crystal bowl and then dropped it when I wouldn't promise not to return to Hogwarts. The punishment for that was to be locked in my room, to have bars put in my window and to have Hedwig padlocked in her cage. If Ron and the twins hadn't borrowed your precious flying car I'd still be locked in there."

"Maybe Percy is right and you do try to get attention on purpose."

"People like you are reasons I don't trust or like adults." Harry muttered. "Can I have these? I know they are old but they are great sight better then mine. I'll give the rest of my Muggle clothes to Dobby maybe he can make a quilt for something with the junk."

Sirius shrugged, "If you want Reg's clothes I don't care. No one else wants them."

Harry glared at Molly, " Really? I lied and said Voldy was back, I killed Cedric, summoned Death Eaters with a Dark Mark I don't have and pretended to be Voldy. I cast the Cruciatus on one of his followers for disloyalty. I sabotaged the tournament; I was responsible for the death of both Crouches. Oh and I gave myself rope burns, cut myself with an invisible knife and I've been in touch with Ron's rat Scabbers."

"Really," Molly sniffed, "There is no reason to be like that."

"Hah!" Harry threw his 'clean' clothes in a pile then and dug out his pink Zippo and the cigarettes. He shoved them in pocket and stormed off.

"How rude! Walking off in the middle of a conversation!" Molly grumbled.

Harry turned and glared, "Only to keep myself from inflating you like I did Aunt Marge."

"Where are you going Harry?" Sirius called out.

"Somewhere in this house away from her!" Harry snarled stomping off.

Leaving Sirius and Molly to argue.

Harry found a dreary cupboard down the hall that was obviously a linen closet and banished a good patch of dust. He leaned against the window and lit a cigarette taking in drags. He was extremely grateful to Dudley for introducing him to smoking and for giving him his first pack.

Molly! What a bitch! Why in the world was she invited to the Third Task as his 'family' anyway? Why not Remus and Padfoot? He looked for them but they didn't come until after he ended up in the infirmary. Then Dumbledore chased them out with errands.

So he was a bit miffed with everyone.

He kept puffing away…

Then he was startled by a large popping noise.

Standing there was one of the Weasley twins.

"Harry? What are you doing here?"

"What you doing here?" Harry retorted still smoking.

"What's wrong?" the twin said sitting next to him.

"No offence but which are you?"

"George."

"Seriously?"

"You think I'd lie to our investor and secret partner?" George asked.

Harry shrugged, "I'm a bit out of trust at the moment."

"I heard Mum a bit out there. I'm not fond of her at all."

"Who is?" Harry drawled puffing away.

"Since when did you smoke?"

"Since a Dementor tried to kill me and my cousin." Harry shrugged.

"Wow. I never pegged you as a real delinquent. I mean sure you slipped out of Hogwarts using the map a few times when they kept you locked up thinking Sirius was out to get you. Batty the lot of them." George said companionably.

"I didn't here from you all summer either. So why you being so nice?"

"We were trying to buy a place and sneaking off to file paperwork to make our mail-order service a legal company. Sorry mate. Didn't mean to seem like we're ungrateful. I mean if it weren't for you we'd be sunk. Especially with that cheating git Bagman tricking us out of our life savings and paying us with Leprechaun gold so he bankrupted us. We were told it wasn't safe to send you owls so we saved our letters to give you when we saw you. Acio letters to Harry Potter."

Letters flew through the cupboard door.

George caught them and handed them over. "I figured since it was you were our investor we ought to account for how we spent the money even if you didn't want it. Our lawyer said it was a good idea. He insisted we make you one-third partner for legalities sake even if you didn't want it known. Besides I remembered how upset you were getting no letters in second year when they were sent so I wrote you a lot but I wasn't supposed to send them."

Harry found ten when he counted, "Really?'

"Well I figured you wouldn't want to be forgotten so with a stack of letters you'd know you were important to someone."

"Ron didn't even bother to send me a present and he only owled once." Harry grumbled between drags and skimming the letters.

"He's acting pompous. He's like a junior Percy."

"What's been happening?" Harry asked not looking up from his letters.

"Well Percy got promoted, the git. Mum's beside herself and Dad is furious with him."

"What do they have to do with each other?"

"Percy is junior undersecretary to the Minister and there is an Anti-Dumbledore campaign at the Ministry. Dumbledore's being accused of lying about Voldy being back to make trouble. They had a row the week after term ended. Dad and Percy screamed at each other almost came to blows. Mum cries when you mention Percy and dad destroys things. He might loose his job because he's friendly with Dumbledore. If we get the shop up and running maybe he can work for us. Rather Dad didn't work for a bunch of idiots like the Ministry anyway."

"Wow. Anything else?"

"Yeah the reason Ron's acting like a git is because he's a prefect. Some moron decided that's apparently a good idea. Have you see his marks? Are they crazy?"

Harry choked on his drag, "They did what?"

"McGonagall looked like someone threw a dungbomb when he announced it. They both came to 'congratulate us' before announcing that we'd be soon moved to Order Headquarters if they wished to retain their membership for our 'own protection.' Thank Merlin we took our Apparition exams at the end of April before this all went nuts. I can so see them denying us our apparition licenses until we swore some loyalty oath to the Ministry. Fat chance." George grumbled.

Harry snorted incredulously, "Ron's prefect? He can't even be bothered to do his own homework he always guilted Hermione into it. His marks last year have to be atrocious since she wasn't helping him by doing his work for him."

"Oh that's what he's been doing? I'll be sure to tell Fred that. He's been drooling over Hermione since she got here. He keeps saying she got hot. I just don't see it."

"Fred likes Hermione? I thought he was with Angelina." Harry frowned.

"Yeah right. He's born a playboy. Something like Uncle Fabian apparently or Sirius, I heard them swap stories." George shivered.

"Cold?"

"No a bit disgusted. I'm not interested in girls." George shrugged.

"What? You're a poof?" Harry asked banishing the cigarette butt.

"So? It's not like it's a crime or anything. Anymore then smoking is. So what if I like wizards? I don't really like witches much. Angelina would be alright if she stop trying to capture Fred. I wish he'd leave Hermione alone, she's a decent sort. Really didn't you think it odd I never attended the Yule Ball? I was holed up in my secret potions' lab all night. I didn't see any reason to make some girl think I liked them by invited them." George scowled.

"I didn't know it okay to like guys. I've been raised to think it's bad." Harry shrugged.

"You're not a freak, you're not a liar or a cheater. There is no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to like whoever you like. You're Harry Potter you can like whoever you want." George grinned. "Even if it's a Slytherin."

Harry was startled, "What?"

"Oh nothing."

The door was pulled open.

"Oh there you are. Dinner's ready. What is that horrid smell?"

Harry glared at the speaker.

It was Ginny.

"Hi Harry." She simpered and batted her eyelashes.

"What is wrong with you? You got something in your eye?" Harry frowned at her

She blinked at him, "No. Aren't you coming?"

"Did your mother cook?" he snarled.

The soon to be fourth year recoiled, "Yes?" she squeaked.

"Then I'm not hungry." Harry glared. "I'd rather starve in case she slips potions in my food to make me 'behave'. I don't trust her at all."

Ginny's eyes filled with tears, "Why are you so mean?"

"Because I'm sick of being treated like a child, a waste of space and a bad boy. I'll avoid your mother as long as we stay in the same house." Harry proceeded to light another cigarette.

Ginny started coughing and ran the door slamming behind her.

"Good riddance." Harry drawled.

"I know she's annoying but did you really have to take your anger out on her? Mum's trying to talk Sirius and Albus into having you two betrothed."

Harry snorted, "Betrothed? To her? Are you nuts? She's an annoying little girl who blushes and runs out of the room when I'm around. She just has a hero complex with me since I saved her life in the Chamber of Secrets."

"She likes you…" George frowned.

"So? She's only someone's little sister to me, an annoying one at that. Why do I care if she likes me?"

"I'm not fond of her either and she is a bit annoying." George admitted.

Harry noticed George eyeing his cigarette and passes him the box. "Help yourself."

Arguing out in the hall interrupted their quiet room.

"Hermione and the Ickly Prefect." George grumbled lighting the cigarette.

The door was thrown open.

"First you insult my mother and now my sister? What in the world is wrong with you?" Ron snapped.

"I wanted a little privacy. As for your mother she was being rude. I told her off. After that she expect me to come with my tail between my legs and apologize so I can eat? No way. I want nothing to do with her. I won't apologize either. It's not my fault your sister has some idiotic crush on me. I'm not in the mood for a lecture from a false friend like you. Don't put on airs 'cause some twit made you of all people a prefect."

"You're just jealous because I'm prefect and you're not." Ron tossed back.

"Why in the world would I want that thankless job? I'm no Percy." Harry snapped, "Besides I have no reason to want to enforce rules. Who would make someone like you

prefect? Hermione does your homework. If she's dumb enough to keep doing it after they make her Prefect I'll turn her into McGonagall myself."

"I've only been helping because we're friends."

"Ron takes advantage of you because he's lazy and won't to the work himself. He conned me into doing the same thing because we wasted time and couldn't do the work in time. I am sorry I did that. It was stupid and cheating. I did a lot of thought being trapped in that evil house with Mad Muggles."

"Harry!" Hermione chastised.

"Don't Harry me. I've got no patience for people who ignore me all summer. Don't tell me what to do. Ron even forgot my birthday and didn't bother to write once. You didn't even tell me your supposed 'best friend' that you were made a prefect."

"I was sworn to secrecy!" Ron snapped.

"So what?" Harry hissed, "I'm supposed to care? You left me to rot there with no letters and not even a present. Hermione put your name on hers. I'm not stupid."

"We were told it wasn't safe." Hermione protested.

"Really," Harry said still smoking, "I supposed to care? I nearly get killed by Dementors and my friends can't even be bothered to check on me?"

"You sent your patronus and said you were fine." Ron scoffed, "How did you do that? I thought that was an Order thing."

"I told it to tell Padfoot. It must have. Really a fifteen year old says 'Dementors have just attacked me but I'm fine', who wouldn't want to check on them? Oh wait I'm Harry Potter the crazy cheating mad brat. The great freak that lives to ruin peoples lives. The boy who got Cedric killed. Who helped bring Voldy back. The dreaded Heir of Slytherin." Harry said scathingly, "What's the next accusation? I'm truly insane? I'm lying? Oh maybe I've joined Voldy and become a Death Eater. That'd be new. I'm regular Dark Lord 'cause I can talk to snakes."

"Well," Hermione began in a shaking voice, "I think they are trying to make you look a bit mad. So they can keep saying You Know Who's gone."

"Really," Harry said dryly.

"Thanks to Skeeter's article about your scar, the Daily Prophet is painting you as a deluded, attention-seeking person who thinks he's a great tragic hero or something. They've been slipping in snide comments about you. When they print a far-fetched story, they add something like, 'tale worthy of Harry Potter', or if there is a funny accident or anything it's, 'lets hope he hasn't got a scar on his forehead or we'll be asked to worship him next. It's all tripe. Nothing in the Daily Prophet this morning about Dementors in Little Whinging or your suspension. It seems that they hushed it up. Probably waiting until you are officially expelled or something and then they can release some nasty article or something. I think they are trying to portray you as the Boy Who Cried Wolf or in this case 'Cried Voldemort'."

"Worshiped? Hah!" Harry snorted blowing smoke right into their faces. "The Wizarding World can go hang themselves. Voldy's back and I'm the mad one? Well see I save their asses this time. I'd rather have my parents then this ridiculous moniker and fame for some idiotic thing I don't remember."

"I know that Harry." Hermione said exasperated. "I had Fred fetch me books on Wizarding Law this morning. Remus had to go run off to Little Whinging yesterday and today. Molly wouldn't get them for me when I asked. She told m 'to not worry my pretty little head about it and to leave it to Dumbledore'. He can't even help Sirius and he's the Great and Powerful Oz when it comes to trials. He's the Chief Warlock and oversees all trials. He could demand a trial for Sirius but no. I'll trust him to get you off? No way. You really shouldn't be in trouble at all, if they abide by their own laws, there's no case against you."

"You're an expert on Wizarding Law 'cause you read few books? Really Hermione listen to mum and leave it to the adults." Ron snorted

"I said I wouldn't. I probably know more then they do anyway! I've got an IQ of 300 and a photographic memory. I'm a walking library." Hermione tossed back.

"Then why reread Hogwarts, A History if you're so smart and what is an IQ?" Ron scoffed.

"I like rereading and an IQ is a Muggle measurement of something called an Intelligence Quotient. The closest person in the world is a woman named Marilyn and she's only 228. According to Muggles I'm the smartest person in the world so there."

"Well they aren't very bright are they? A bit dim I'm sure. I bet Dumbledore's smarter then you. Look at what he's done?"

"If he's so great and he can take out Dark Lords, why didn't he deal with Voldy? Let them fight it out like Muggle schoolyard bullies. I'm not involved. I'll let the adults make a mess of things while I sit back and laugh." Harry snorted puffing away on his cigarette.

"Why are you like this? And when did you take up smoking?" Hermione snapped.

"You have no right to tell me what to do, you're not my mother. I'm smoking because I want to. It's apparently not illegal in the Wizarding World. I started yesterday.

Dudley gave me one after I saved him from Dementors."

"I thought you disliked him." Hermione asked quietly very hurt by Harry's venom.

"He's alright. It's his parents who are evil. Even he dislikes him. I mean who wants a mum who runs around calling you baby nicknames like Diddly dinkums, Dudders or some other inane name. He doesn't like having his friends over cause its embarrassing. He's alright. He's trying to get down to a healthy weight. He even knocked his father on his fat arse for hitting me. Freaked them out when he said I saved him from Dementors. I was surprised the Horse-faced bint knew what they were. I wonder who 'that awful boy' was? Dad maybe?" Harry mused.

"I don't know. Maybe Remus or Sirius would. If you like I can be your legal representative. I can toss all sorts of laws to get you off if you like. I have to have your consent of course." Hermione assured him stammeringly.

"Why should I let you? Two sentence owls that weren't worth the ink they were written with? Normally I get more than that." Harry sneered.

"I'm sorry! I don't have an owl and we were pretty forbidden to write you. I have to wait until you write me and well when I got here I was informed you weren't going to be here for your birthday. I thought you'd be upset so I ordered some chocolate from Honeydukes and sent it anyway. I figured Ron who was bragging about being a Prefect wouldn't dare send you anything so I put both our names on it. I wanted you to know you weren't forgotten. I did write you." she shakingly handed over a journal. "I normally write my notes in these. All the parchment got to be a pain. So I scribbled letters and notes when I was alone. I kept it on me so no one would read it. I'm sorry I didn't write properly but here it is."

"You wrote him when we were told not to?" Ron gasped. "Are you trying to lose your prefect badge before you got it?"

Hermione snapped, "Of course not! I was being as good a friend as I could. I didn't agree with the adults. The twins are of age and your mum is refusing them entrance into the Order it's insane. They aren't kids."

George chuckled, "Don't let Fred hear you speaking our defence."

Hermione blushed. "Why?"

Harry and George exchanged glanced and burst out laughing.

There was a pop.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join?" Fred asked.

Harry and George snickered.

"Hermione said mum's nuts for not letting us join the Order."

Fred turned to her, "really? Aren't you a brilliant beautiful witch for saying such a kind thing."

Hermione coughed, "I only said the truth."

"Mum's not nuts for refusing them. They are still students and out to focus on school. How many OWLS do you have between you? Seven?"

George sighed, "Wrong! I passed all my OWLS with Outstandings and Exceeds Expectations. I just had a fake results paper ready for her to read that said I only achieved Charms, Defence and Herbology to annoy her. I made sure I didn't achieve twelves Outstanding so I wouldn't be in the paper. Didn't you think it was funny I was still in Snape's NEWT Potions class? Really with all the products we make you think I wouldn't be exceptionally keen a Charms, Transfiguration and Potions? I make 'em. Fred sells them. Sometimes he comes up with Ideas but I'm the one who has to make it work. Merlin you are oblivious. Rotten git."

"Don't talk to me like that I'm a prefect." Ron sniffed. "I don't believe you."

George sighed and pulled out a many times folded piece of parchment. "George Caius Weasley Ordinary Wizarding Levels: Charms- Outstanding. Defence Against the Dark Arts- Outstanding. Transfiguration- Outstanding. History of Magic- Exceeds Expectations. Care of Magical Creatures- Exceeds Expectations. Potions- Outstanding. Ancient Runes- Exceeds Expectations. Herbology- Exceeds Expectations. I only really apply myself to classes I like. I don't like to rub my marks in people's faces. I'm no Percy but I did take Alchemy, it's pretty interesting but only available to sixth and seventh years. I dropped Care of Magical Creatures to take it..I thought Hagrid would be a cool teacher but the class is a joke I learned more from the library or from Charlie. He had the highest marks on a Care of Magical Creature NEWT since Newt Scamander himself and that was before they re-did the exam."

"What about you Fred?" Hermione asked looking very interested..

"Same roughly except I didn't take Ancient Runes." Fred shrugged. "I passed all my OWLs. However I did not achieve an Outstanding in Potions. I choose to achieve an Exceeds Expectations knowing Snape wouldn't let me near his NEWT potions class with that. I had an Outstanding in Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Defence and Charms. I choose to have Exceeds Expectations in everything else."

"You're lying." Ron glared.

"No. you're just being obtuse. If we showed mum those marks we'd never hear the end of it. you'll never tell her. Obliviate." Fred said pointing his wand at Ron, "You have no memory of being told our OWLS. You are going to go tell mum that we're not hungry and we're not coming down."

Ron looked a bit glassy eyed as he made his way woodenly out of the room.

"So if we're not eating with them what are we doing?" Hermione frowned.

Fred transfigured the empty shelves into a set of chairs and a table. "Harry if you would be so kind as to ask Dobby to bring us something we can eat privately."

Harry called for Dobby who was only too pleased to bring them food despite it being summertime.

Harry rewarded him with the news that there was a pile of clothes in his room here for him on the floor if he wanted them.

The house elf was overjoyed and left after delivering some very yummy Hogwarts food that put Molly Weasley's to shame.

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_**CHAPTER END NOTES.**_ yes, I think I'll start doing these now...

Well, there's the end of another chapter. seems like things are starting to heat up a bit. I for on can't wait to see how that goes.

however, what do the readers think? Me, Myself, and I would like to know. so please leave me a thought or two.


	5. Pipes, threats and silence

_**DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS/AND OTHER SUCH NONSENSE:**_ Can be found dispersed throughout the first 4 chapters.

that being said, we thank all of those who have reviewed. please continue to do so. for those of you that haven't, come ooooon, we don't bite... hard...

well then, on to chapter 5. which i've decided to **dedicate to Annabeth Volturi** who brightened up my otherwise crappy day. i hope theirs enough telling off for you? but dont worry of theres not. it'll get even better. ^_^

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_**Chapter 5**_

It didn't take Hermione long to get used to the smoke though it had been a bit startling for her.

To top it off the twins pulled out pipes and lit them filling the tobacco-scented air with the smell of cherry and cinnamon.

They had finished their meal and were plotting legal strategies for Hermione to use to get Harry off when their conference was rudely interrupted.

"Well I never! Skipping dinner, upsetting Ginny, insulting me and being rude to your best friend just what in Godric's Name is wrong with you boy? Smoking? Hermione Granger how could you let these boys smoke?"

Hermione sniffed, "To my knowledge smoking is not illegal in the Wizarding World. According to my reading it is a social pastime of wizards for the past nine centuries. Since Fred and George are adults I see no reason to tell them how to manage their affairs when it comes to something so insignificant. Besides why does it matter? We did eat." She gestured at the half eaten dessert.

Dobby had been so kind as to bring them their favourites: for Harry there was Treacle tart with Fortescue's vanilla ice cream, Hermione had a delicious chocolate cherry cheesecake, Fred had an entire cherry pie to himself and George had a cinnamon apple strudel.

"I slaved in that kitchen for hours and I even made treacle tart!" Molly snipped.

"Hah!" Fred snorted taking up Hermione's protest; "You weren't in the kitchen for hours except for the Auror meeting over lunch. You gave us sandwiches and crisps with orders to eat in the garden. That place is a disaster only Neville could love."

"Fred's right since we got dragged here we've been accused of being underfoot, spying and causing mischief. Joining the order is not causing mischief. Wanting to know why in Merlin's name we're stuck here when you won't tell us anything is what leads us to spying. If you just let us join we'd stop." George added.

"Really, Ron must have been telling the truth. I've let you spend the summers with us Miss Granger and the way you replay me is to call me insane because I want to keep my children out of this war? To think I was considering letting you join my family." Molly glared her hands on her hips.

"Your children were brought into it already! Didn't a Dark Artefact befuddle Ginny to do Voldy's bidding attacking defenceless students including myself? Your son was made part of the tournament that Voldy infiltrated. When Harry's broom was cursed it was the twins who tried to rescue him when that failed they resigned themselves to having to catch him. Your son helped us past the McGonagall's chessboard to protect a stone that HE wanted. He chose to be involved." Hermione retorted. "I never asked to be invited to The Burrow. You extended the invitation and I accepted. Honestly there is a difference between protecting and coddling. As for joining your family I believe that would be my decision and the choice of the young man who were interested."

"You maybe a smart child but you are still a child." Molly snapped.

Hermione glared, "I maybe a child but according to Muggle standards by which I have been tested twice I am claimed to be the smartest person in the world. A 300 Intelligence Quotient is not only rare but I'm the first. The closest person to me in a woman named Marilyn only has 228."

"Muggles aren't very smart are they?"

"My parents are doctors thank you very much and they've encouraged me to learn and improve myself by reading!" Hermione snapped.

"Those freaks that cut people open? Really all you need is a knife to do that. Besides I thought your parents were dentists." Molly smirked as if she'd caught her in a lie.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Oh please to be a dentist you must have a doctorate in dentistry. Even I know that therefore they are doctors. Haven't you wondered why your children all run away from home? Bill ran to Egypt, Charlie to Romania and Percy to the Ministry to get away from you. I bet you before the year is out the twins will run away too. If this is how mothers treat their children I am so glad I don't have one."

"With the way you behave your mother would be extremely disappointed in you!" Molly sneered.

"Molly shut up! I will not have you talking about Lily like that! Not in my House Molly and especially not to Harry. They were my friends. Lily always stood up against injustice, used to tell me off all the time. if Harry thinks you're wrong and tells you that he has to have a reason. He's good kid. I told you to lay off. Or Merlin help me I will throw you out and don't let the wards hit on you the way."

"You can't do that. Albus invited us here. We're members of the Order."

"This is my House, my inheritance and I can do as I like. You know thank you so much for the inspiration. I've just decided my Secret Keeper." Sirius gave her a malicious grin.

"Who? Albus?" Molly asked.

Sirius smirked, "Nothing so predictable. My favourite person in the entire world!" He frowned at Harry, "Do desist in smoking that trash. If you are going to insist on smoking the four of you ought to join me in the gentleman's parlour in half an hour. Pardon me I'll be finding Tonks."

"How can you let them do something so distasteful?" Molly gasped her hands on her hips.

"It's my House, my rules, I say it's not illegal and if he wants to smoke he ought to do it properly. No need to skulk in disused cupboards. I think the kitchen has outlived its purpose as a meeting place. I'll let Remus fix the dinning room. I really ought to have not lost my temper." The former Marauder scratched his head sheepishly. "Anyway I grew up around smoking. Besides Remus, James, the traitor and I started about his age. I don't see any reason not to allow him to do the same. Which reminds me, I really need to thank Remus properly for saving my pipe even if he was convinced of my betrayal. Tell me Hermione what does one get a bookworm as a present?"

"Books? We're discussing something serious Sirius! You are just as bad of guardian as I warned Albus you would be. You are in capable of discipline. He ought to be paddled." Molly snorted.

"You lay on had on my godson and I'll," Sirius said darkly.

"Do what?" Molly asked smugly.

Sirius glared, "You do not know what I will do to you."

"I'm going to tell Albus!"

"Yes run to him like a tattling child to a parent how mature. I can't wait to have my secret keeper here. About time the Order acquired a healer."

"Merlin you can't be serious not _her_." Molly snorted. "That Slytherin? That woman is as Black as they come and as just as Dark."

"We shall see." Sirius smugly. "Leave the kids alone they don't deserve to be treated that way!"

"You should have stayed away, Harry wouldn't have learned such cheek if you weren't around!" Molly tossed back.

"_Auream Silentium_. You will be silent until you learn to speak politely. You will consider the words you speak. There isn't a counter spell to that so don't even bother with finites. It will wear off when you learn to watch your words. Now I have a relative to invite for a visit." Sirius sniggered turning on his heel.

Molly stomped her feet and shook her fist before storming away.

"Wow just wow!" Fred stammered.

"Sirius sure told her. Really to stoop to tattle, what is she nine? No wonder Ron and Ginny are so horrid." George shook his head.

Harry started laugh like maniac.

It became contagious and when Dobby returned for their dishes he was very confused at the nearly hysterical laughter.

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_**C.E.N**_.- well, there you have it. chapter 5. its a short but chuckle worthy chapter. Molly begins to get what's coming to her. and Sirius is sirius-ly starting to get annoyed. now readers, i have a question. how many of you like nice looooong stories?


	6. The gentleman's parlour

**_DISCLAIMERS/WARNINGS: _**please see chapter 1 for these.

_**A/N:**_ In this chapter and all chapters following, let it be known that the character "Nymphadora Tonks" the Auror. or "purple haired witch" does indeed exist. however, neither of us are too fond of her name. so we've changed it to "Persephone Tonks". so when you read that name or the shortened version "Seph' just think of the witch who in canon married werewolf Remus Lupin. that being said, thank you to all readers and a special thank you to all who have reviewed. and for those of you that have not, please do. praise or flame, say what needs said. I need to know what you think.

without further rambling on my part, here for your (hopefully) enjoyment, Chapter 6.

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_**Chapter 6**_

The recently dinner skivvying quartet made their way down to the first floor to search out the room Sirius said to meet him.

Who was this mysterious Slytherin that Molly Weasley complained about? Why did she disapprove of her? Unless that was where Ron got his Slytherin prejudice….

After wandering aimlessly they found the destroyed dining room.

It was filled with splinters of wood and scraps of black velvet, as well as a dissembled motorcycle.

The four sighed.

"I think this is the room Sirius wanted cleaned up." Fred frowned.

"Transfiguration is more your thing Fred. So why don't Harry and I move the motorcycle bits outside? Since we don't know where the room is that we're supposed to meet him in if we cast enough magic he'll find us. Besides I think we ought to start cleaning up the place on our own without Mum badgering us to keep Dad from getting on our case. Anyway if that mad old house elf isn't going to do his job we're going to." George shrugged.

"I know Sirius said we could use magic but are you sure?" Hermione asked with a pensive look.

"Why don't we? I'm in the mood to toss things." Harry smirked.

"I think that's Sirius' flying motorcycle. Hagrid tried to figure out how it worked and took it apart. Then he couldn't put it back together. He brought it over and Sirius said he'd fix it. I have no idea why he put it here." Fred offered.

"We'll be careful with it." Harry begrudgingly sighed.

Sirius had defended him twice from Molly and hadn't been a prat so he figured he'd be careful with the man's stuff.

Fred conjured an image of a fancy chair with black upholstery, "You think you can turn the splinters of the chairs into this?"

Hermione conjured a mirage of a table fancy table she saw on a programme on the telly that was a tour of Buckingham Palace. "I think this would match well enough. What do you think?"

Fred grinned, "You brilliant witch! It's perfect."

Fred and Hermione the transfiguration geniuses set out to transfigure the splinters to the chairs that Fred chose.

George and Harry managed to levitate a few of the motorcycle parts.

Harry only had the concentration to try levitating two at a time while George was levitating about five.

Then George conjured thin ropes and they pulled the parts out to the backyard.

It took three trips to get all the parts out of the dinning room.

By the time they returned from the last trip they found Fred and Hermione looking quite smug having transfigured the splinters and scraps into a thirty-person table with accompanying chairs.

The twins knew the all-purpose cleaning charm and were more then happy to teach it to Harry and Hermione.

However Fred transfigured a handkerchief into a large glass jar and summoned the spiders in the china cabinet being careful to seal them in but making tiny air holes in the lid so they wouldn't just die.

The smug look on his face and universal knowledge amoung the quartet of Ron's phobia led to suspicions of the spider's new home being Sirius' old room that Ron slept in.

They cast sanitising charms on the dishes and the goblets.

Both the glass fronted hutch and the china had a crest on it.

Their cleaning project was interspersed with laughter.

Eventually they heard a clearing throat behind them.

The four turned to find Sirius and a tall witch slim with brown hair.

"Well I said the gentleman's parlour but I suppose I didn't think that you couldn't get there with the junk in the way. Where is my motorcycle and where did the dining set come from?" Sirius asked looking around.

"George and I took the motorcycle parts out back." Harry shrugged.

"I made sure to reinforce the veranda with strengthening charms tied to my blood so they can't be removed to possibly cause it collapse under their weight. It looked rickety." George offered.

"Hermione picked the table design. We both transfigured the table scraps into it. After all one of the rules of magic is that you can't make something out of nothing. So we couldn't banish the pieces."

"It's a far sight better then the heirloom. What happened to the previous table that it was in pieces?" the woman asked glaring at Sirius.

The man actually shivered, "I…well…Dumbledore told me that I couldn't do anything for the Order after the first errand he sent. He told me I had to claim this place and you know I hate this house!"

"That arrogant old coot! Really, my breaking a contract with the Malfoy family was bad that I had to be demoted from Head Girl. I didn't see him punishing Prefect Prewett for getting herself knocked up and forcing Arcturus Weasley to break a contract. No he punished me because I'm a Slytherin. You'd think he'd want to make nice to me since it was a Hufflepuff I eloped with. I'm sure he'll be just thrilled to see me. Getting my Persephone mixed up in this Order Business I'm not pleased. However she is an adult and an Auror so she can make her own choices. If Poppy's still a member you are rather pathetically off. After all, that woman is a medi-witch, not a healer. She's not even a good one. Throwing potions at patents all the time is foolish."

"You would be?" Fred asked.

"Andromeda Tonks formerly of the House of Black disowned for Bonding to a Muggleborn. He's also a healer but he deals with the mind and I, the body. Curious how we birthed an Auror, then again she always idolized her Uncle Sirius." The woman snorted.

"You're the witch mum hates? You seem pretty cool to me." Fred smirked.

"You're Mary's son?" she sniffed.

"Their mother goes by Molly now." Sirius sighed.

"That sounds like she has delusions of being a house elf." Andromeda sneered. "Funny she always was a bit pretentious. She ought have been disowned for what she did. Not because she was Lord Prewett's precious princess she was given a reward for something any other pureblood witch would have been disowned or locked up in Azkaban. "

Sirius glanced around the room, "It sure is an improvement and what did you do the carpet?"

"Fred transfigured it into something else." Hermione offered, "He kept it green through but choose a more vibrant colour."

"Well it's only a shade darker then it was when we were young." Andromeda said pleasantly. "I think that is a far more pleasing shade then Aunt Walburga had."

"Indeed. I guess I ought to have told you where the gentleman's parlour was." Sirius said walking over to a door at the far end of the room. He opened it and coughed. "Might need to do a bit of clearing first."

Andromeda pushed past him and within a few flicks of her wand the leather furniture was repaired, the doxie-eaten curtains were replaced, the spider webs banished, the pests removed, the carpet transfigured and the dust disappeared. In short she managed a complete transformation without speaking a single spell.

Sirius applauded, "You always excelled at the housekeeping charms that you were taught. Bella preferred her Dark Arts and Narcissa preferred the cooking lessons. With you five around this place won't be an eye sore and I won't have to listen to Molly rave and rage about how disgusting it is. Or how useless house elves are without masters and how they were incapable of doing anything on their own so they are better off banished."

"House elves do need guidance however I don't agree with Great Aunt Elladora who insisted on beheading her house elves when they were too old to carry tea trays. By the way if you hadn't restored me to the Tapestry I know I certainly couldn't be here." The imperious woman added.

"Leave my favourite cousin disowned? Hardly." Sirius smirked. "Kreacher is still pissed at me for it. I don't know why Reg was found of Kreacher."

"He was his personal elf and took care of him because Aunt Walburga didn't want him until you ran off." Andromeda took a seat and summoned a wine goblet. She conjured ice and plainly dressed elf that appeared with wine poured her wine goblet. "Now tell me why I'm here."

Sirius paused to pour himself whiskey that he summoned in a tumbler over conjured ice, "Help yourselves. We're going to have an adult conversation. Fred and George are of age, Hermione will be sixteen in September. If Harry is old enough to be tried he ought to be old enough to drink."

"I've got no problem with it either." Andromeda shrugged. "Persephone drinks and if Lord Black declared you old enough, his elder cousin or not I have no business telling him off for it. Besides, it's customary in the House of Black to start children with watered wine when they are eleven and old enough to eat with the family. By sixteen we were drinking wine at dinner."

Hermione shyly summoned a wine goblet and with a weak charm chilled the glass a bit before holding it out to Andromeda's elf.

Fred blinked, "You drink?"

Hermione blushed, "A little. I like wine…"

Fred whistled, "Never pegged you for the type."

Hermione scoffed, "Just because we share the same House at Hogwarts doesn't mean you know me."

George sniffed, "Is that Fireball?"

Sirius smirked, "Yes."

George had a wide grin as he went to pour some in a similar glass and added conjured ice.

Fred summoned his Honeyduke's Butterscotch schnapps and poured himself a tumbler-full before chilling the glass.

Harry stared at them, "Um…"

Fred poured Harry some of his schnapps, "Here have some of this."

Harry sipped it; it was sweet in his mouth and burned its way to his stomach. He groaned "God that's good."

"Now that we've all got drinks." Andromeda said sipping her wine.

"Yes to business" Sirius began, "Ole' Mouldy Voldy is back. Kidnapped Harry to make it happen. The Death Eaters have returned and we've been trying figure out what they're up to. Dumbledore insisted that I claim this place and we use it for the Order's Headquarters. It seemed like a good idea at the time with the wards and all. Unfortunately, he invited that bitch Molly and her brood to stay here without asking me. Between the two of them they've tried to run the place. It's my house and frankly I'm sick of it. I have no respect. I'm trapped here, I can't even leave the house under glamours or as dog."

"What? She's not even a Black! She's only related to us by marriage. He bonded is the son of a Black and her Aunt Lucretia is your aunt as well thought she bonded to a Prewett. A shame that she had a squib." Andromeda sniffed.

"Mum's gone off the deep end for no reason. She's always been high-strung and bossy but she's gotten ridiculous. Percy was always her golden boy and now that Ron's a prefect he's the next. Bill was before Percy. It's stupid. You become a prefect and you're perfect. Bill's great and not priggish like Percy but seriously even he had his moments or qualities that were annoying." Fred grumbled.

"We didn't want to be treated with ridiculous expectations so we faked our OWL scores. We don't have cool wards like here were you can use magic all you want case the Trace don't work. We told Ickly Ronnikins that we Glamoured our scores but we really copied Percy's and edited them. It wasn't hard when mum had it posted prominently in the kitchen. We stole it and took it to school with us. With some work we had fake ones and switched them. Seriously, who would believe we only had seven OWLS between us?" George added.

"She's always been lazy with marks. A shame. Arcturus was hoping to be an Auror. Gideon used to talk about it. Gideon was planning on being a Healer specialising in spell damage revolving around Dark Arts and ward curses." Andromeda mused. "He was only a year ahead of me and we were both aspiring Healers so we talked despite being in different Houses."

"Don't you mean rival Houses? Weren't both Gideon and Fabian Gryffindors?' Fred frowned.

"What lies has that brat been feeding you? Gideon was a Ravenclaw prefect and was nearly Head Boy. They made Francis Longbottom Head Boy though. Francis, Fabian and Arcturus were all Gryffindors that entered Auror training together. They were hurting for persons to fight 'Mouldy Voldy' as Sirius calls the Dark Lord wannabe. A shame someone didn't just put him out of his misery. Then perhaps Reg would be alive." Andromeda shook her head before taking a sip of wine.

"Dad was an Auror?" George frowned, "I had no idea."

"Mary was probably distraught when he was transferred to the mediocre Department he's with now. His reputation was less then pristine thanks to her." Andromeda sneered, "She may play all lily-white but those of us who were there during those years know her for what she is. She stole Arcturus from her own brother by using potions to lure him to bed. He wouldn't have touched her at all despite being a sexually flexible wizard. He had his flings with girls on rare occasion but only with Gideon's knowledge but his betrothed's sister was never on his list of possible partners."

"What is wrong with her? Seducing a betrothed person? Was she nuts? And why did dad agree to bond to her?" Fred hissed.

"I haven't a clue. The pregnancy was discovered during her Fourth Year exams when she fainted in the middle of her Potion's practical. Foolish girl brewing while pregnant, William is lucky he was born healthy. Mary told a story about Arcturus seducing her and she protested weakly but he was stronger and so good-looking. It was a known fact that he was sleeping with witches but he was selective. Despite his initial protests he was forced to take responsibility and agree to the exchange of Molly for Gideon. Gideon took it badly and stopped speaking to him. Poor Fabian was torn between his twin and his good friend and future- they hoped anyway Auror partner."

"She's a nasty piece of work isn't she, putting on airs. She was too busy trying to have child a year to bother joining the order. Arthur complained about his joining the Order the last time and now she's acting like she's Dumbledore's right hand instead of McGonagall." Sirius growled.

"Well I'd like to see her telling me a Daughter of the House of Black what to do. How a whore like that ended up a Prefect I will never know oh wait they put all the blame on Arthur. He was bonded and then cut off. A pity since he was supposed to be his fathers heir. I wonder who is Lord Septimus' heir now." Andromeda mused.

Hermione stared at her wine in amazement.

"Something interesting?" Andromeda asked with a raised brow.

"I've never tasted anything like it. I normally have blackberry merlot from my parents' collection. They order it by the case so it's no bother to take a few since they drink a glass or two every night. Sometimes it's elderberry they have. But this is beyond words."

"The best wine in the Wizarding world is made by the Veela. The Delacours of Acquataine and the Bianchesshi of Piedmonte are the best. I'm partial to the Turin wines. This is Biana, it's considered a strong wine. Biana is a powerful, full-bodied wine with a cornucopia of subtle flavours, such as strawberry, tobacco, chocolate, vanilla, and white truffles. Sometimes referred to as the 'Queen of Wines,' Biana is best aged at least three years before it is consumed. This wine is made from Nebbolo grapes and brewed with a family recipe. The family is very secretive about the process. I prefer to be aged longer then three years and I drink it to relax. Although as a healer I am never truly off duty so I brew my own sobering potions in case I get called in. Being a birth healer is more stressful then some assume."

"Surprised with your knowledge of Dark Arts that cousin that you didn't become a Healer that specialised in healing injuries by Dark Magic." Sirius teased toying with an ebony cane topped with a silver dragon's claw that clutched a stone shaped like a dragon's egg. It was black with silver veins the talons of the claw were green like emeralds.

Andromeda smirked, "So you claimed the wand. Always worried Bella'd try to get if after Regulus offed himself somehow. I'm surprised as a Black you weren't stole by the Magus Brutus."

Hermione ever the bookworm frowned, "Who is 'Bella' and what are the Magus Brutus?"

"My middle sister Bellatrix Lestrange. Our younger sister Narcissa bonded to my betrothed Lucius Malfoy." Andromeda shrugged nonchalantly. "The Magus Brutus are a division of Magical Law Enforcement that are called in to deal with very dangerous Dark Wizards or Witches. They are rarely spoken of and one can only join by invitation only. They tend to only recruit neutral Slytherins and Ravenclaws. I was approached before my seventh year but refused. It's rare to be recruited outside of Auror or Hit Wizard training."

"Oh. I remembered her from my readings. Didn't she attack the Longbottoms?" Hermione had never heard of the Magus Brutus before, they sounded very secretive.

"Yes Francis Longbottom and Alice formerly of the House of Dearborn." Sirius added.

"So we have the pretentious Mary Prewett trying to take over the Order. My own daughter who has a line of ex-lovers like the Hogwarts Aqueduct, her boss Kingsley who hangs on Albus' every word, Moody the Mad Ex-Auror, Dumbledore the arrogant, spineless Minerva who wouldn't stand up for a Slytherin if it were her own child, Amelia left the Order and you probably have Hestia Jones? "

Sirius sighed, "Emmeline Vane, Sturgis Podmore, Dadelus Diggle and Elphias Doge."

"Doge." Andromeda huffed, "That man worships the ground Albus Dumbledore walks on. Albus picked his bonded and named his child. Doge is his lapdog to be dragged by the nose."

"The Prewett brothers died and with Gideon gone you're short a healer. So to help keep order in the Order you called me. I'll have this Monstrous House set to rights in two days. Especially if I have the help of these youngsters who did such a lovely job with the Dinning room. A drawback of tying a property to a bloodline is that for the house to avoid declining and rotting for a lack of better terms you need to have it inhabited by enough persons with that Blood."

Hermione gasped, "That's what happened?"

"Yes, it doesn't help that tying house elves with a loyalty oath requires them to have orders and structure to prevent them from becoming lethargic. House elves are quite useful and if you treat them well they are very loyal. Great Aunt Elladora was a fool to treat her house elves so despicably. I swear she learned that from the Gaunts; nasty piece of work that family was. An illustrious line fell quite hard, generations of gambling addiction Cador joined with the Black Family hoping that Elladora's dowry would save them from poverty. However it seams to be a shame that he continued to drive his House into ruin. He died leaving his son with debts and Elladora returned to the family. Marvolo sold his sister to a Potter." Andromeda glanced at Harry, "You have James' hair but Lily's face. You must be Sirius' godson Harry."

Harry blinked nodded, "I've always heard I had her eyes but not her face."

Andromeda snorted, "Idiots. Of course they want to see James, he's the pureblood while Lily was the Muggleborn. Well you have a Black great grant-grandmother and a Black grandmother. He should have enough to help cement the family claim. If Persephone and I also reside here as well as Arcturus and his children we shall be alright even though only you and I truly are of Black blood."

Sirius nodded, "I don't care if you're a real member of the Order besides our healer and my Secret Keeper but I'll be a Muggle before I make Albus Secret Keeper. Remus can't be because he's an active member of the Order even though I'd trust him with my life."

"You'd rely on a Dark Witch, a former Slytherin who is a Birth Healer and your bloodtraitor cousin?" Andromeda arched an eyebrow.

"My brilliant cousin who can resist the Imperious curse, has healer training and is bonded to a Hufflepuff." Sirius smirked.

"You prat." She said fondly. "You don't have to go so far."

"Besides, I know the real reason you broke your contract with Lucius." Sirius sniggered, "You're a softy at heart. You know I'd never betray James and with the Godfather bond I couldn't put Harry's life in mortal danger."

Andromeda nodded sharply, "Once a Black gives their loyalty, they are loyal until death unless betrayed."

"So you'll do it? Please Annie? You're the only choice I have. The whole Order has been badgering me for over four weeks to choose Albus. They keep saying if Albus had been James and Lily's Secret Keeper they'd still be alive. It's my House and my choice, I could toss them out if I wanted." His eyes flashed with fire, "And if Molly orders me around in my own House again I swear she'd find herself and her belongings on the street!"

"How ill-bred. Mary is a guest in your house and laying down rules? Is she mad?"

Hermione coughed, "I think so, Fred and George are of age and they want to join the Order and she won't let them. She and Dumbledore forbid us to Owl Harry for a whole month and didn't give us any explanation that its 'too dangerous' it would put him in peril."

"I can't believe Albus sent Mundungus Fletcher to watch Harry. He left him unguarded to see about cauldrons that fell off a broom. Due to his negligence Dementors attacked Harry. Now he's facing expulsion for Violation of the Decree against Underage Sorcery and International Decree of Secrecy." Sirius growled.

Hermione opened her mouth to correct him.

"I don't care what it's called." He glared at her. "All that matters is that he's in trouble."

"You used your wand in self-defence?" Andromeda frowned at Harry.

Harry nodded, "I cast a Lumos and the Patronus charm. That is it. We were trapped in an alley what was I supposed to do? Let them eat our souls?"

"Of course not." Andromeda scoffed. "What is the violation against the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy referring to?"

Harry snorted, "I cast magic in front of my cousin and saved his life. He's known since he was eleven that I was wizard since Hagrid told me. He was there and when Uncle Vernon insulted Headmaster Dumbledore Hagrid used his umbrella to attempt to turn him into a pig and only gave him a pig's tail. I live in a neighbourhood filled with Muggles how can I casting magic around them to save our hides? "

"I always knew that man was irresponsible." Andromeda sniffed.

"And he's part of the Order. Albus in his infamous wisdom sent him to talk to the giants and convince them not to side with Mouldy Voldy." Sirius' voice was thick with sarcasm, "Really? Like they would listen to him, to them he's a mongrel. Giants live to cause destruction. Last time the Ministry had to Obliviate hundreds of Muggles when they destroyed bridges and collapsed buildings. They claimed 'earthquakes' and meteors as well as other nonsense brewed by the Office of Misinformation."

"Isn't that just prejudice like hating Slytherins?" Hermione frowned, referring to the bit about giants.

Andromeda scoffed, "Giants kill because they like destroying things. They aren't like werewolves who were decent until the Dark Lord turned them to his cause. The Vampires never joined because they choose stay as separate as they can from Wizarding affairs to avoid the censure that the Werewolves have. The registry was one of Scamander's little follies. Veelas are neutral creatures and completely self-governed. They are protected by the Veela Accords which are reviewed and ratified every century by the International Confederation of Wizards and them equality ratified by each successive Ministry. Any Ministry failing to ratify them is declared in violation and sanctions are imposed until they comply."

"So why aren't the werewolves treated the same?"

"They lack a cohesive structure and don't have central leadership. There isn't a Ministry that recognizes werewolves as a separate group like the Veela or the Vampires. Vampire Covens are closed and don't often mix with others as a means of staying out of trouble." Andromeda informed them in calm assurance of her information.

"I see. Is it common to mate with wizards?"

"It can happen. Some mate to other Veela although the rumours out there about there not being male Veela is all stuff and nonsense however unlike the vampire covens or werewolf packs, a Veela is under the jurisdiction of the Veela Queen no matter where they live in the world."

"A Feminist society?" Hermione asked.

"After a fashion, legend has it that the ancient Veela were female only and were bonded only to each other but with more interaction with wizards they soon started having relationships with them. Any child born to a Veela is automatically treated as legitimate and is named the sire's heir even if they aren't born into a legal contract. It's in the Veela Accords." Andromeda shrugged.

"Only a child with a Veela bearer and a wizard sire can be born male. Male Veela are precious because females are more common. Veela are often naturally sexually flexible but in rare cases can lean either way. Lucius is bent towards one person and that became dangerously apparent the moment he smelled Narcissa after returning from Malfoy Manor where he spent the solstice and came into his Inheritance. Sanctus, Aurora and I had to cast hexes to take away his sense of smell until I figured out what was wrong with him. However that is for another time. Well we shall we fetch your friend Moony? I am sure he would willingly cast the Fidelius Charm before Dumbledore comes and sticks his bent nose into your business."

"You know quite a bit about laws can I talk you to about how to get Harry off?" Hermione asked cautiously.

Andromeda nodded, "We'll discuss it tomorrow while we start setting this place to rights."

Sirius sanitised his tumbler and replaced it. He opened a door in a small cabinet and called out, "Harry if you want to smoke do it properly and use a pipe. There are a few in here but if you don't like them well I'm sure Remus can pick one up. Now that the room is clean I'll have Remus put our stash in here, the tobacco and the liquor since I know Remus hides his precious chocolate. I'm sure Andromeda can ward this room to Remus and us. We can plot and gripe in here to our hearts content and I can tell you what's going on without having Molly putting her snobby nose where it doesn't belong."

Sirius and Andromeda left the parlour leaving the 'kids' behind.

Harry set down his glass using the same charm as Sirius to clean it. He set it back on the shelf with the other matching glasses before sitting on the floor.

He pulled out box after box opening them and discarding them.

The first had a dragon carved onto its bowl with a black stain on everything but the dragon.

The second had a cauldron clutched in a dragon claw.

The third had the head of a dragon with the bowl inside what would be its skull and the neck of the pipe was the dragon's neck. It looked like a Hebridean Black's head from _Magical Creatures and Where to Find Them_ by Newt Scamander.

The fourth had a crouching dragon on relief of a bowl almost as if it had been attached later.

The fifth was a perfect rose before it truly bloomed and seemed very out of place with Dragon themed pipes.

The sixth pipe was different it wasn't a dragon theme nor was the bowl made from wood. It felt like ivory and the stem seemed to be ebony, the bowl had a snake coiled around it and even the scales were carefully etched or was it carved?

Harry examined the pipe and put it in the case setting it in his lap before putting the dragon pipes back in the cupboard.

When he went to pick up the rose pipe it was missing, he looked around him and then up to see Hermione cradling the pipe with its case under her arm.

She blushed, "I think I'll hold onto this. I don't know if I'll use it but annoying Mrs. Weasley might be worth it."

"With pipes the next thing you need is tobacco." Fred said sagely. "I like black cherry but George's preference his cinnamon. We've been smoking since Percy got atrocious and mum intolerable. Dad bought us pipes and took us to pick our own tobaccos. Its not harmful just relaxing."

Fred pulled out boxes and canisters of tobaccos in a bunch of flavours still talking. "We caught him smoking in his workshop four years ago. Mum is maniacally against so we sort of blackmailed him into letting us do it and we'd keep quiet. He's pretty cool away from Mum but when he's with her, he's a spineless prat."

Harry's nose wrinkled at all of them but the regular tobacco so he took a small canister of that.

Hermione sniffed them too but picked out the regular cherry flavoured tobacco.

"So sad. I wish he'd up and leave her if she did what Andromeda said." George nodded, "If Ginny did such a thing to me I'd raise all sorts of trouble and torment my betrothed until he saw reason. Really flexible or not he ought to have stayed away from girls, the idiot. I mean he was betrothed to his best friend he was just setting himself up for trouble."

"Hey girls are lovely, I don't know what a bloke sees in wizards." Fred shrugged.

George snorted, "I'm bent so I could say the same about witches. I think Hermione is a nice girl and probably pretty but since my taste is Quidditch players well she's not even noticeable as more than a friend."

Hermione blinked, "You're gay?"

"The term is bent and it's perfectly acceptable. Since dad has nothing worth inheriting and we are younger sons we're starting a business to make our own way in the world. There are ways for bent wizards to have kids. Since you are so happy to research and read I shall leave you to learn on your own." George smirked.

"Well it's getting late." Fred sighed, "If Andromeda's even a tiny bit like mum there won't be any lie-in tomorrow. We'll be up very early and eat breakfast before we end up cleaning. We'll probably tackle the drawing room unless she wants to clear another parlour, the receiving room or the library."

The four decided to turn in early….


	7. A mad portrait, the Order and a Cold War

_**A/N & DISCLAIMERS.**_

disclaimers = chapter 1.

now,

I know the changing of Tonks' name might bug some of you. however, we will not be changing it back. if it help, just pretend she's an OC. the only other thing i can suggest is to try to ignore it. there are too many names in the black family tree ending in "dora" i dont see why Andromeda would add another one.

that being said, we go through great pains to be very descriptive with this story. this chapter will be a prime example. all the furniture mentioned actually exists. if asked, i will provide "links" to pictures of anything specifically detailed. while i prefer to use my imagination for things like that, i know some readers like visual references. should enough people ask for them i'll come back and add an a/n at the bottom.

now last but not least. please don't complain about the grammar in my a/n's. i try to keep them as informal as possible and frankly i see no need to capitolize while talking about myself. (and for those of you wondering, yes this is me being informal. you should see me being formal...)

all that nonsense being said, here's chapter 7. read, enjoy, and please for the love of Salazar, review. Your thoughts. i need them.

* * *

_**Chapter 7**_

Harry was awakened by an unfamiliar squeaky voice.

"Miss Annie be calling Master Harry. Gilly be sent to fetch him. Gilly have a bath waiting."

"What's she want?" Harry grumbled.

"Everyone else be coming to breakfast already. Master Harry be having a lie in. Gilly be told to fetch Master Harry. Gilly have hot towel waiting and will press an outfit for Master Harry."

"Did the crazy witch cook?"

"Gilly cook. Then Miss Annie watch the food while Gilly wake up family and guests."

Harry reluctantly climbed out of bed. He bathed quickly; he'd rarely had the luxury of a bath before. It was always showers at the Dursleys, Hogwarts or the Burrow.

He dried quickly enjoying the hot towel as he exited the bedroom. He found pressed black linen trousers, green silk boxers, a green Egyptian cotton button shirt and white silk socks. On the floor beside the bed were shining leather shoes.

He hurriedly dressed with his stomach complaining at him by growling loudly.

Harry made his way down to the dinning room with his pipe and tobacco shrunk to fit in his pocket.

The dining room table wasn't full but with thirty seats it was clear there were divisions.

Sirius was sitting at the head of the left side, with Andromeda on his left and Remus on his right. Fred was beside Remus but between Remus and Hermione. George was beside Andromeda so he was across from his twin.

Molly Weasley sat at the opposite end of the table from Sirius. Her husband was her right and Ron on her left leaving Ginny to sit beside her father.

The witch with the purple hair sat between the two groups as if she couldn't or wouldn't choose between them.

Molly kept glaring at Sirius's side of the table; her glower only grew when Harry took a seat beside George balancing out that side.

Food was plentiful and served on china bearing the Black family crest.

There were pitchers of ice water, orange juice, pumpkin juice, milk and syrup. There were also pots of tea and coffee. There were plates of eggs, sausages, hash browns, bacon and pancakes. There were dishes of fresh fruit, cottage cheese and butter.

Harry was starved; he filled his place to the point of overflowing and chewed away happily.

George poured him some pumpkin juice.

As the meal progressed Andromeda and Sirius discussed their plans for the day.

"I had a look around last night. I think we'll tackle the drawing room." Andromeda said between delicate bites.

"You did such lovely job with these two rooms, the five of you that I'm impressed. It took Molly two days to get the kitchen anywhere decent to eat in. As for the bedrooms she made the youngsters clean the Muggle way despite my comments about the wards. A majority of the house was such a disaster that we practically had to stay at the Burrow. Only my room, my father's, mother's and Reg's were the only ones pristine." Sirius stated lazily to their half of the table.

"We'll need new carpet, new curtains, the furniture will need to be repaired and I'll put the family heirlooms in the attic."

"Yes with the nosiness of some of these kids it might be best. We know what not to mess with but they don't."

"I saw portraits of all our ancestors but Aunt Walburga. She had to have had one commissioned."

The Weasleys, the purple-hair witch and Sirius cringed.

"She's on the staircase. We've got curtains on her to keep her asleep and silencing charms to stop loud noises from waking her anyway." Sirius grumbled.

"What about taking her off?" Andromeda frowned.

"The mad bitch used blood-tied sticking charms and believe me I've tried. The silencing charms wear off at awkward intervals. Or more precisely they break when Seph trips over something."

Harry frowned. "Seph?"

Andromeda sighed, "My daughter Persephone Tonks, the brat in the middle of the table. It would not kill you girl to sit with your family.

"I've got no interest in choosing sides." The purple haired witch sniffed.

"This isn't about choosing Persephone Edwina Tonks, blood is loyal to blood."

Molly scribbled fiercely on parchment and held it up.

Andromeda read it scornfully, "What would a bloodtraitor like you know about that?" she stuck her nose in the air, "Says the woman who raped her own brother's betrothed? Your father was a fool to believe you. Arthur wouldn't have touched you since you were his friends' sister."

Arthur turned as red as his hair, "Andromeda I would appreciate it if you wouldn't air such scandals."

Ron hissed, "You're lying you filthy Slytherin. Mum and Dad were in love."

"So in love she had to drug him and conceive a child when he was betrothed to someone else? She nearly destroyed a centuries long friendship between the House of Prewett and the House of Weasley. If she hadn't forced him to break a contract you wouldn't be bloodtraitors. I may have broken a contract myself but I had my reasons and I didn't steal anyone. If anything I was stolen from Lucius but I allowed it."

Persephone frowned, "You were a Slytherin?"

Andromeda sniffed, "Of course I was? Did you think I was a Ravenclaw like Gideon? Hardly. I'm too ambitious for that. I chose my fate. I knew I'd be disowned and declared a bloodtraitor but unlike Molly I didn't elope with Ted for my own greed. I did it for family."

"Well you are back and I quite approve of Ted you should bring him by. He's trustworthy for a badger."

'I accepted Ted because he discovered my dilemma and offered me a solution. Not many persons especially a Hufflepuff would dare try to court a betrothed Queen of Slytherin." Andromeda shrugged. "He spent months trying to convince me. I finally gave in but that is neither here nor where. We're discussing putting the house together."

Sirius picked up the thread of the conversation, "You know why don't you send Gilly to fetch the rest of the Black elves? I believe after mother died with the exception of Kreacher the rest moved to another Black. Some went to our great Aunt Cassiopeia, others to our grandfather Pollux, and some to my grandfather Arcturus. I believe most of them are at Aunt Cassiopeia's. I was outvoted about summoning them. I think that you will enjoy getting them into a rhythm. Perhaps since your Gilly is such a dedicated house elf you can make her head elf?"

Andromeda nodded, snapping her fingers.

Gilly appeared at once, "Miss Annie be needing anything?"

"Go fetch the other Black house elves. With Sirius' recommendation you've been made head elf. We expect you to help us put this property to rights and perhaps have your fellow elves fix up the other Houses."

Gilly's eyes filled with tears and she blotted her eyes with her tea towel, "Lord Black be wanting Gilly back? Gilly turned off for being a bad elf."

"For not informing mother of my cousin's elopement. I know. I disagreed with her but since you've served my cousin well her entire life I think you've proved yourself. Do me a favour and deal with Kreacher. He allowed this place to fall into disrepair. He spends his time muttering and has done nothing to help us return it to its former glory." Sirius grumbled.

"It could have something to do with your guests." Andromeda smirked, "After all you have what" A family of bloodtraitor Weasleys, a Muggleborn, your Halfblood godson, myself and my daughter. Not to mention Albus Dumbledore that Aunt Walburga hated, as well as other Dark Arts hating narrow-minded pricks."

"MOTHER!" Persephone gasped. "Dark Arts are evil!"

"I swore I taught you better about the nature of magic. I did not raise a narrow-minded fool. You spend too much time with the likes of Alastor Moody. The man is insane! You'd have been better off with Scrimgour." Andromeda scoffed.

Sirius groaned, "Moody's in the Order, they sent him as part of the group to retrieve Harry I was against it. Most of those names I gave you last night were who were sent. Most of them are idiots."

Molly was so angry steam was coming out of her ears.

Arthur scurried off to work presumably.

Ron was steaming and Ginny the anti-social brat was cowering.

"Well if we are quite finished Gilly can take return the dishes to the kitchen. I warded it so only myself and Sirius can discuss meals." Andromeda declared.

"I'll leave that to you. After all you were trained in how to run a pureblood house. I was raised to be Lord Black, which I am. However I have no gorgeous witch to run my House. If I were single and young again I'd have my pick of the ladies if I weren't deemed a dangerous murderer." Sirius grumbled.

"Well Gilly you can remove the dishes and then go fetch the other elves. I trust you. Later you can set them about with dishes and perhaps cleaning the other rooms. I plan to restore the drawing room."

Molly scribbled again and held it up.

"There is something dark in the desk? You were going to ask Moody to look at it? It's a Boggart. I'll deal with it. Boggarts are very difficult to obtain and there are useful in a few potions. I'm out of Boggart skin anyway. If I chose to sell it I'd make a tidy sum. Hecate's would pay handsomely for Boggart parts." Andromeda scoffed rising.

As she headed to the door Molly and Ron reached for their wands.

Andromeda whirled around wand raised and with a string of Latin dealt them swiftly before she sneered at them. "Curse me in my house? Apparently Mary you have yet to learn your lesson. Well then I have just bound yours and your son's magic. As long as you reside in this House you can't use your magic. It's Black Family magic so only we know the counterspell. I don't feel like I would want to remove it. Now if you four will follow me we can take care of the drawing room."

"I'll just see about putting my bike together. I can't believe Hagrid took Iris apart. I was furious." The canine animagus muttered darkly as he left the dinning room.

A bit intimidated by the Secret Keeper's magic the four followed her into a long hallway, lit by a large chandelier and gas lamps. To the left of the entrance hall was another room but they ignored its existence for the moment.

Andromeda muttered under her breath.

Harry finally really looked around to see that the wallpaper was peeling and the carpet had been worn thin.

Hermione pointed to the staircase where there was a set of curtains, "That is the mad portrait."

There was also a hideous troll-leg umbrella stand…

Persephone Tonks scurried around them towards the door and tripped up over the foot of the umbrella stand making a huge clattering noise.

Persephone cowered.

The curtains covering the portrait moved baring it to view. Immediate she seemed to awaken and start screaming.

"Filth! Scum! By-products of dirt and vileness! Half-breeds, mutants, freaks, begone from this place! How dare you befoul the house of my fathers -"

Andromeda scoffed, "A fine way to behave Walburga Irene Black."

The old woman's face blanched.

"YOU! I CAST YOU OFF YEARS AGO! AFTER EMBARRASSING US. BUT RUNNING OFF WITH THAT MUGGLE HOW DARE YOU RETURN? YOU TREACHEROUS BITCH!" she howled, her eyes lit with what seemed to be madness or at least anger. "Blood traitor, abomination,"

"Look who is talking you drove Sirius away and Regulus died probably trying to prove he was good enough to be your son. Seriously." Andromeda cast a spell at all the portraits that had begun to yell.

With a wave of her hand the heavy black velvet curtains shut.

"I never liked her." Then she turned to her daughter, "Seriously? What is wrong with you? Still so clumsy at your age?" She flicked her wand transfiguring the troll's leg into a tree of some sort and the roots seemed to bond to the floor. "Really was such a thing so hard? I see I must Persephone-proof this house like you were still a toddler and likely to fall."

Persephone scurried out the house with her hair black rather then purple and her skin red.

"How can she change her hair and skin like that?" Harry asked interested.

"Persephone is an Metamorphmagus. It runs in the Black bloodline, my Uncle Alphard was one. He ran a private detective business which infuriated Aunt Walburga."

"Can you learn it?" Harry asked curious.

"I take it you wish to learn to hide that cursed scar of yours? I'm sorry it's an inherited trait. One that used to cause me trouble. She'd change unexpectedly when we were shopping in Godric's Hollow. I don't know how many times I had to Obliviate Muggles. I finally left her with Gilly and went out alone." Andromeda informed them coolly before leading them up the stairs into a room across from the Dinning Room.

The drawing room had a pair of long windows facing the street in front of the house. There were black leather furniture like a settee, a love seat and large armchairs.

There also seemed to be a dirty large fireplace that appeared to be a floo as well as a series of dirty tapestries, one of which seemed to take up nearly the entire wall space except for the two on either side of the two windows.

Andromeda glanced at Fred and Hermione, "I suggest you transfigure the leather furniture into pristine replacements like you did to the Dinning table and chairs."

The two nodded.

Andromeda headed over to the desk and cast unlocking charms on it. As well as glowing blue wards…

A cloud of grey smoke exited the desk and it morphed into a basilisk.

She sighed and cast at it albeit silently. It transformed into a odd chimera like creature with rooster head and wings on a snake body. It finally seemed to collapse and the imperious witch smirked. Shrinking it she summoned a silver box and levitated the Boggart into it.

Fred and Hermione conjured mirages of various furniture ideas.

Hermione wanted to transform a cracked leather and oak chaise lounge into a black and silver 'fainting couch' with a silver swan making up part of back of the couch.

She had seen one on the telly one and it was so lovely.

Fred argued against the silver but thought that the black velvet idea was great.

Harry and George proceeded to use cleaning charms to clean the tapestries, the walls and the windows.

They seemed to gleam more brightly.

They then turned to cast scorgify on the ceiling and the chandelier that was covered in cobwebs.

Even clean the ceiling was a grey colour but a soft grey…

When Hermione and Fred couldn't come to an agreement they turned their backs on one another and took their time transfiguring the furniture according to their whim.

Hermione transfigured an oak and leather chaise lounge into the lovely silver piece she'd envisioned.

Fred's settee was black velvet with black walnut, it was rather ostentatious with black curlicues and what seemed to be a shining obsidian set in the wood that was polished like a mirror.

They transfigured the carpet to grey and silver that covered the centre of room over an ebony wood floor.

Hermione transfigured the coffee table to a French antique she saw in a book at home.

They managed to agree on a chair and matching ottoman that sort of matched the coffee table.

Harry and George turned to the curio cabinet.

A few cleaning charms had it looking a lot nicer.

The spiders vanished, the cobwebs disappeared, and the cracks in the glass disappeared. The ebony wood was even polished to shine in the light.

Inside they could see an ornate crystal bottle with a large greyish opal set into the stopper, full of what appeared to be blood. Silver boxes inscribed with obscure languages. There was an ebony case with a silver vine frame on its face and thirteen coiled snakes. Dozens of silver frames with family photos and shiny silver daggers with sharp blades. Also there was a spidery instrument, rather like a many-legged pair of tweezers and a large silver ring that bore the Black family crest. There was also a coiled snakeskin.

Then Andromeda was attacked with heavy bolts when she passed by a grandfather clock.

She conjured a metal shield they bounced off muttering darkly under her breath and cast a series of spells at it that stopped the attack and repaired it.

George opened the curio cabinet and removed a music box.

When he opened it, it played a faintly sinister, tinkling tune.

Andromeda spun around, "Don't!" she fired a hexing charm that silenced it and slammed it shut.

That tune nearly knocked everyone out.

"Idiot boy! Do you have any idea how many cursed objects a house belonging to a family as old as the Blacks contains?" Andromeda snapped.

George blinked the magically appearing sleep out of his eyes, "Sorry I wanted a closer lock at it."

"Must not have enough Black blood to be exempt from its allure." she muttered, pulling out a silver snuff box. She opened it, "Wartcap powder. I have no use for such a thing perhaps,"

George grinned, "I can think of something…"

Andromeda exchanged the snuffbox for the jewellery box, "There. No one touch this box." She cast a few more spells at it before returning it to the curio cabinet.

Harry watched her frown and retrieve a silver locket with a snake curved into 'S' make from emeralds.

"What is this? I've never seen it before…" then she gasped. Summoning a silver box and transfigured it to lead and floated the locket into it. Andromeda cast charms at her hands. "Devious Morgaine that's the evillest thing I've ever encountered. What is it?"

A filthy elf appeared, "That be Master Regulus'. Mistress would be furious to see her house befouled with Mudbloods, bloodtraitors, filthy Halfbloods and diseased creatures."

"That is not for you to decide!" Andromeda sneered, "That is for Lord Black, these people are his guests until he decides otherwise. Where did Regulus get it?"

"Kreacher not have to tell you. Regulus make Kreacher promise not to tell." The house elf said in an oily voice.

"Where is Regulus? How did he die?"

"Regulus poisoned. Regulus lies unburied not that a bloodtraitor like you would care."

"I broke my contact to save Narcissa's life. If Lucius and I had consummated a bonding, Narcissa would have died when her heart exploded." Andromeda hissed at the House elf, "I sacrificed my own reputation and honour to give her, her life. Don't presume to that I would not care if my cousin died."

"Kreacher mourn Regulus. Only Regulus kind to old Kreacher. Regulus good boy. Regulus not want to serve bad man. Regulus angry because Kreacher hurt. Regulus heal Kreacher and then make Dark Lord pay. Regulus trust Kreacher to his end. Kreacher stay until he die then Kreacher try very hard to destroy that but it not open. It make Kreacher angry all the time. Make Kreacher want to hurt master and mistress. Kreacher lock it away so he safe. That locket bad." The elf spat.

"It is 'bad'. It is in fact evil. I shall dispose of it. Don't worry I shall not claim it for myself. Now go bathe. You are to submit to Gilly's leadership on Sirius'; Lord Black's orders. You will help Gilly keep this place clean."

"Kreacher obey Lord Black but Kreacher no like him."

"Well I shall leave you to finish while I check on Gilly." Andromeda said looking around. She stared at the settee, "It would look better this way."

Andromeda waved her hand and the frame of Fred's settee was silver. "I like the velvet but it matches the chaise better this way."

The mirror like jewel remained obsidian though.

Fred pouted.

"By the way the charms for piano are pianoforte reparatione and pianoforte discrepent." She called as she left. "I need to talk to the elves about dinner."

Harry and George decided they were about done and stretched.

Hermione shyly headed towards the piano which was the only unrepaired or replaced object in the room.

The piano was covered in dust and scratches but it was like a tarnished silver box that merely needed shining.

Hermione cast the spells to fix it.

Harry watched as she repaired the shawl on the piano and the velvet and iron wrought bench.

Hermione transfigured the curtains to be silver with green vines and cleaned the windows along with the two small tapestries on either side of the windows.

Harry shook his head when Hermione sat on the piano bench and patted it.

Fred joined her with a smile.

Hermione started to play something on the piano.

Harry rolled his eyes, "Shall we have a drink and a smoke? You can show me how smoke my new pipe."

"Sure." George grinned slinging and arm around his shoulders.

The two left the now redecorated parlour together.


	8. Music, a piano and a stolen kiss

_**Chapter 8**_ _**Pt. 1**_

Hermione didn't even really notice when Harry or George left as she began to play.

She was especially fond of classical music but she did have a soft spot for opera and musicals. She started with Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera.

"Father once spoke of an angel I used to dream he'd appear. Now as I sing, I can sense him and I know he's here. Here in this room he calls me softly, somewhere inside hiding. Somehow I know he's always with me. He - the unseen genius."

She played Meg's lines without singing as if someone else sang them.

"Angel of Music! Guide and guardian! Grant to me your glory!"

Her playing flowed more naturally as she remembered the music she could not see.

"Angel of Music! Hide no longer! Secret and strange angel. He's with me, even now..."

Then she changed the piece without stopping her playing.

"Think of me, think of me fondly, when we've said goodbye. Remember me once in a while -please promise me you'll try." Pausing slightly to breathe.

"When you find that, once again, you long to take your heart back and be free- if you ever find a moment, spare a thought for me..."

She hummed along to the music break.

_**XoooooX**_

Fred had no idea the girl could sing much less like that…

She was even better then his mum's favourite singer Celestina Warbeck.

Her piano was gentle like spring ring in April and her voice like a summer wind awash with trilling birds. He watcher graceful hands traipse across the ivory and ebony keys without even locking. There was no music… she played from memory?

How brilliant was this witch?

_**XoooooX**_

"We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea- but if you can still remember, stop and think of me." Hermione paused to breathe before continuing, "Think of all the things we've shared and seen- don't think about the things which might have been ... Think of me, think of me waking, silent and resigned."

As she played the music appeared in front of her.

"Imagine me, trying too hard to put you from my mind. Recall those days, look back on all those times, think of the things we'll never do - there will never be a day, when I won't think of you.". Hermione said her voice sure and passionately.

Fred could read music and he started to sing where the name Raoul was, "Can it be? Can it be Christine? What a change! You're really not a bit the gawkish girl that once you were. She may... not remember me, but I remember her..."

Hermione turned to him her fingers stumbling at first and then she started singing again, her face red, "We never said our love was evergreen, or as unchanging as the sea- but please promise me that sometimes you will think ah-ah-ah-ah-aaah-of me! "

Fred leaned over cupping her face in his hands turning her to face and kissed her.

Hermione's eyes widened and her hands shook on the keys.

Fred kept kissing her until they both had to breathe.

Hermione took gasping breaths winded by the sudden kiss. When she'd centred herself she frowned at him, "That was my first kiss you just stole."

"Well was it memorable?"

Hermione turned pink, "What do you think?"

"I think you are a very talented witch and we should sing more." Fred smirked.

Hermione managed to conjure the music for 'All I ask of you' and they sang it but the next musk that appeared before them almost frightened her. 'The Point of No Return.'…

She stared at the music embarrassed…

Fred nudged her and started to sing, "You have come here In pursuit of your deepest urge. In pursuit of that wish which till now has been silent. Silent. I have brought you that our passions may fuse and merge. In your mind you've already succumbed to me, dropped all defences completely succumbed to me. Now you are here with me. No second thoughts. You've decided, decided."

Hermione's voice shook at the chorus joining him.

"Past the point of no return. No backward glances. Our games of make-believe are at an end. Past all thought of 'if' or 'when'. No use resisting. Abandon thought and let the dream descend."

A very experienced Fred sang of fire, desire and seduction.

Hermione shivered sensing a Don Juan like aura…

If he were the Phantom and she, Christine she'd leave 'Raoul' for him…

Hermione swallowed and took up Christine's part, "You have brought me to that moment when words run dry. To that moment when speech disappears into silence, silence. I have come here, hardly knowing the reason why," her face flaming, "In my mind I've already imagined our bodies entwining. Defenceless and silent, now I am here with you no second thoughts."

They sang the chorus together but Fred blinked and stared at the male solo.

He sang it softly almost as if he were afraid to say the words.

"Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me from my solitude. Say you want me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go, let me go too." He paused and then sang, "Hermione that's all I ask of you."

Hermione leaned over to kiss him the way she thought Christine ought to have done instead of ripping the mask off.

That was how Andromeda found them later: holding hands while Hermione taught him to play as they sang romantic songs from musicals.


	9. Pipes and male bonding

_**Chapter 8 Pt. 2**_

The two made their way to the gentleman's parlour.

George poured himself some fireball over conjured ice and then poured Harry some of Fred's butterscotch schnapps.

Two square black marble coasters appeared on the table between them

Harry sat in the black leather armchair and sprawled his legs on the matching ottoman.

George sat on the old-fashioned two-seater that had what seemed like two chairs joined but with a middle that prevented those sitting on it from sitting too close.

George stuck his pipe in his mouth, holding it between his teeth, reaching into his pocket for a tin and pulled a pinch of tobacco from it. He lit it with a weak flame from his wand and took a drag.

Harry set his tin of tobacco and his pipe case on the table, then he re-sized them. Taking the pipe and adding a pinch of tobacco to his pipe, then he took his pink Zippo and lit it not trusting his fire casting abilities. He took a puff and then groaned, "Damn this is better…"

George took a long drag, "I know right?"

"I'll have to buy Dudley a pipe someday."

George frowned at him, "Isn't he that tubby cousin that you disliked for so long?"

"He's not bad," Harry shrugged, "He told his father off for hitting me when we finally got home after being cornered by the. Dementors and calmed down at Ms. Figg's. Anyway he snuck me up food and gave me the cigarettes. We talked some. We've got an appointment at the Leaky Cauldron on my birthday next year."

_**XoooooX**_

It was strange looking at Harry no, George thought sipping his whiskey and smoking his pipe.

Last year he was a boy and yet in the month since he'd seen him, Harry'd grown up.

The way he carried himself changed…

He had an aura that was damn sexy. Really the kid was barely fifteen and he was seventeen…

He wasn't a player, he was selective of those he slept with but he was single right now since he wasn't seeing anyone. He'd been single since just after the Second Task when he realized that his lover Cedric's 'precious person' was that stupid Ravenclaw Chang. As if being ditched for the Ball for her wasn't bad enough.

It wasn't until he told Cedric to take about dip in the lake and to leave him alone did the stupid duffer confess that he was two-timing him with Chang. Apparently Diggory had started seeing them at the same time. The arrogant Hufflepuff bastard! He wanted to hex Cedric's bits off but he'd left the other and grumbled that you couldn't trust a badger. Apparently, they were short on loyalty.

At least his relationship with Grant Page, Ravenclaw's Keeper hadn't been that bad. It had been mutual; they'd parted friends at least. Grant was now with Duncan Inglebee of the same House. They were cute together…

Now if only ha had the guts to confess to the person he really liked. It's not like he had a chance anyway with that person.

He wasn't looking for anything serious after Cedric but he'd prefer to be with someone who was less likely to cheat. Or as Cedric said it, 'he was flexible so he needed to satisfy his desire for wizards and witches by dating one of each.'

George really wasn't fond of Hufflepuffs and knowing Persephone Tonks who was in Charlie's year and a former Beater was one did not endear him to the purple haired witch.

Harry had a very sexy aura…

George was a lot taller and more muscular then the tiny Seeker but damn…his confidence made him ooze sex appeal.

George didn't care much for the theoretical 'height rule' that meant the taller guy was always the dominant one between the sheets. George was one of those people who preferred to take the bottom role in bed. That didn't mean he just lay there either, he liked to be a bit aggressive.

_**XoooooX**_

Harry frowned at George, "Is there something wrong with my face? Am I doing it wrong?"

The Gryffindor Beater swallowed and poured himself another two fingers of whiskey. "Just thinking that's all." Turning as red as his hair.

Harry raised an eyebrow, "About what?"

George shrugged, "It's not that important."

"Really? Then why were you thinking so hard then?" Harry teased.

"Just thinking about the last few years. I'm going into my Seventh Year you know. I wonder who I'd ended up seeing this year? Fifth Year was Grant Page, Ravenclaw's Keeper. Last year," George scowled, "was that git Diggory. Who knew that a Hufflepuff would be the type to have a sexual relationship with to people and have them both convinced that he was only seeing them? Told him off after the Second Task. He obviously didn't like me as much as he said since he took Chang to the Ball and she was his hostage. He actually thought he had the right to see us both and string us along."

Harry blinked, "Diggory? He was like that? Here and I was thinking he was pathetic since I saved him twice in the Maze. He actually was a cheater? Does Cho know what a rotten git he was?"

George snorted, "No he said he asked us both out at the same time. He could have had a third sexual partner for all I know."

"So you're not only gay…bent you have experience?' Harry asked curiously, puffing on his pipe as he cleaned his glass and conjured ice and water.

"I told you I'm bent and that I have a thing for Quidditch Players. I think blokes are at their sexiest after a match." George shrugged.

Harry sighed.

"So why'd you try to ask Chang to the Yule Ball anyway?"

"I was expected to ask a girl so I thought since she's nice to me…and she's a good Quidditch player…" Harry shrugged. "Everyone said she was hot."

"So you liked her because everyone else did?" George smirked.

"Yes…no…I don't know maybe." Harry frowned. "Maybe I'm just slow. Even Dudley has a girl, Jasmine. I've not really worried about that. Maybe I'm oblivious or I'm just not ready to be interested in girls.""

_**XoooooX**_

Or never…

George thought, those Muggles really messed with his head…

Harry spent a good portion of the time staring at Malfoy…

Almost as much as Creevey'd spent starting at him his first year when the Chamber was open…

Seamus too, Merlin the accent the kid had was almost as arousing as Oliver's. Oliver was hot but he knew Percy and Oliver had a fling despite the 'Penelope thing'. But seriously what was wrong with Percy these days? He just got worse…

It wasn't like Harry hadn't stared at him and Fred a lot after all you don't give just anyone 100,000 Galleons…

Merlin knew he'd stared at his crush enough. He'd been loyal when he'd been with Grant and the arse Diggory, he'd not thought about that person or at least tried not to. He didn't have a shot at him anymore then the Cannons had of winning the British Cup these days.

George had inklings that he was bent but damn his first match and he saw his crush fly and he was drooling. Took him a bit to get his bearings and focus on the match and start hitting beaters at the opposing team.

George didn't see his refusal to talk to the bloke as cowardice more like he'd rather not embarrass himself more then he had with the attempt to bypass the age line and ended up with a long white beard.

_**XoooooX**_

"Thinking again?" Harry teased.

George smirked, "Yeah about who I've see you staring at over the years and Chang wasn't really getting your attention off the pitch except for just before the ball."

Harry frowned, "So who was I staring at then?"

"Myself, Fred, Finnigan and Malfoy surprisingly enough. Fred and I have great muscles, Finnigan has that sexy brogue and well Malfoy is clearly one of the hottest blokes in school and the richest." George smirked.

Harry gaped at him, "You must be joking! Malfoy? If I'm looking at him its just because he's always causing trouble."

"I suppose." George shrugged. "I've not rally seen you may much attention to the girls. I know that Angelina is considered one of the hottest girls in Hogwarts. I believe the hot ones are Angelina, Chang, Giselle Goyle, Lavender Brown, Deborah Smith and Serotina Vector; two 7th years, two 6th years and a 5th."

"Do you think they are pretty?" Harry asked frowning.

"Not really. I'm indifferent to them mostly." George chuckled. "Fred and I don't really discuss our sex lives because being straight or bent is just about our only real difference besides magical talents."

"Is that odd to have twins' sexual inclinations so different?"

George shrugged, "I doubt it. I mean come on, Uncle Fabian was a bit of a playboy and uncle Gideon betrothed to dad so I guess not. That's two. I'm pretty sure that Pavarti Patil like Thomas even if she went with you to the Yule Ball. As for her sister I don't know. It's not uncommon to be bent or flexible. Anyway, I'd still be your friend if you liked blokes. Be a bit hypocritical if I didn't seeing as how I like blokes myself."

"I don't know if I am and you're the second person to bring it up. Dudley thought Cedric was my boyfriend but from what you say I'm glad he wasn't." Harry said thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't wish Diggory on anyone." George muttered darkly.

"I don't know…I'll have to think about." Harry stammered.

George summoned Harry into his lap and snogged his younger teammate.

Harry's eyes widened in stunned surprise.

George cupped his neck licking his lips.

Harry gasped.

A move George took full advantage of, exploring the teen's virgin mouth and enjoying the taste of tobacco and butterscotch schnapps.

Harry awkwardly found himself kissing him back…

Then his rational thought returned and the flung himself off George and fell sideways into the two-seater's other seat. "What the bloody hell?"

George licked his own lips, "That wasn't bad for a first kiss. You'll be a good kisser eventually provided you get enough practice."

"What are you volunteering?" Harry retorted.

"Why not? You're hot…and I'm sure you'd rather explore with someone you trust. I think you're a great person Harry and that's not just because you the guy who gave us back our dream." George leaned over, "I really do think you are a good person. You're great guy Harry. You'll make some lucky guy very happy."

Harry frowned and stared puffing nervously on his pipe.

Merlin he had a lot to consider….

George liked him…he thought he was hot and he had kissed him…


	10. Spying on The Order

_**Chapter 9  
**_

Andromeda stumbled in on George and Harry in the gentleman's parlour.

"Well then that solves that question." She smirked. "There is an Order Meeting over lunch. I'll have Gilly serve you in here. If you're in here then you can listen in and we'll discuss the meeting later."

"How will we listen?" George frowned. "We even made a product called extendable ears and we still got caught."

"I'll cast one-way silencing charms on the door. So even if Moody sees you in here, he can't tell you're listening, which he shouldn't if I use Blood-tied magic to hide you. Thankfully there is that four-person table over there. Even if it is meant for cards rather than eating."

"Won't Ronnikin's be jealous?" George smirked.

"You won't tell him or I'll not give you a second chance." Andromeda warned.

George sighed, "Ruin my fun. It would be nice to rub it in."

Andromeda chuckled, "I'm sure it would but its best if you could feign ignorance while being apprised of the situation."

"So um…what's on the menu?" George asked changing the subject.

Andromeda smirked, "Chicken salad sandwiches and a crisp green salad with raspberry vinaigrette dressing. I believe that family is being served mango and peach smoothies."

"Sounds yummy." Harry grinned.

"Very well. I shall have Fred and Hermione summoned here."

"Where are Ron and Ginny eating?"

"I've banned them from the kitchens and this room. With the dinning room occupied by the Order they shall be forced most likely to eat outside on the veranda if Sirius has finished repairing his precious Iris. If not, I'm sure the elves will find a place. Gilly can somewhat think for herself."

George nodded, "Well they can do as they are told or not as far am I'm concerned. Ron is being a poncy git and as for Ginny, she's a paper person without much personality."

"Very well. We'll critique the meeting after the sycophants leave. The Dumbledore-worshipping narrow-minded imbeciles." Andromeda muttered as she turned on her heel and exited the parlor.

Harry had been grateful for Andromeda's presence to distract him from contemplating George's questions and the kiss. He'd rather not consider what he'd just realised; he'd actually kissed the Gryffindor Beater back. What had he been thinking?

The door opening once more interrupted his thoughts…

A very smug Fred entered the parlour with a very flushed Hermione at his heels.

George raised an eyebrow, "We are truly of the same mind."

Fred snickered, "Indeed. However I think I have the lovelier choice."

"Perhaps, but I think mine will prove to be more intriguing."

"Don't talk about me like an object or like I'm not here you two." Hermione huffed.

"I'm not fond of it either." Harry grumbled darkly.

"Well we're going to have a private lunch and we get to listen in on the Order Meeting for once. Andromeda said she'd fix things so even mad old Moody wouldn't figure it out." George changed the subject even if he was contemplating what sort of a figure Harry had beneath those clothes.

It didn't take long for dishes to appear on the small table.

The four very hungry teens made their way to the table.

Soon they could hear the sounds of people moving around in the dinning room that flowed through the door.

"Merlin this is lovely!"

"Yes, if there was a room as fine as this why were we meeting in the kitchen?"

"Because Molly insisted on repairing this house the Muggle way. All it needed it was a team of persons skilled in transfiguration who had the patience for it." Sirius' smirk was almost audible.

"What is she doing here?" came Dumbledore's voice.

"Annie? She is my favourite cousin and this is still my house." Sirius growled. "Her daughter Seph is in the Order. Besides, I'm sure we'll need a healer at some point. Pomfrey is getting on in years. She solved the dilemma I had."

Moody snarled, "Tell me you didn't make a Dark Witch our Secret Keeper."

"Of course not." Came Sirius' smug voice, "I made her my Secret Keeper. It has to be someone I trust with my life and that is my cousin Andromeda. If you haven't forgotten she eloped and bonded with a Hufflepuff, a Muggleborn Hufflepuff at that. Annie can't be that Dark if you have someone like Seph in your ranks who is too much of a fence-rider to have an opinion of her own or to stand with her family. I'm surprised Seph isn't too much of a spineless prat to join the Order of the Phoenix."

"Now Sirius," Dumbledore chided, "that really is terrible of you."

Sirius snorted.

"You ought to respect our leader more." Minerva McGonagall sniffed.

"When he earns it. I'm sick of being bossed around in my own House. Grimmauld Place is my birthplace. Meeting here and using Grimmauld as a Headquarters is a privilege, which I think most of you lot have forgotten. Those who refuse to accept that I am Lord Black and the owner of this place can clear out, that goes especially for Molly."

"Now Sirius you know that because Ronald is Harry's best friend that he is in danger hence why he and his family are here." Albus corrected firmly.

"I could care less." Sirius mumbled.

"How old are you?" McGonagall snapped, "This house isn't a toy to fight over like children."

"Sirius is right, this is his house therefore it is his right to extend or revoke invitations. Especially, to those made without his consent. He is the Head of my House and has reinstated myself and my family to its authority." Andromeda sneered.

"Slytherins have no respect for authority." Kingsley muttered exasperated.

Andromeda's voice was full of disdain, "Does this meeting have a point or is it's only purpose to discuss how unacceptable my position as Secret Keeper is?"

"If you are all quite finished with displays of posturing, perhaps you would be interested in hearing my report?" came the familiar quiet, firm and sharp tones of Severus Snape.

The four Hogwarts Students eavesdropping winced and shivered.

"Of course Severus." Dumbledore said kindly.

Snape sniffed, "The Dark Lord has managed to unite most of his old servants who are free. He's sent ambassadors to the giants, the Veela, the werewolves and the vampires. He is hopeful his return to power will revive old alliances and invite new ones. He sent an Executioner from the Department of Magical Creatures to the giants and Lucius to the Veela Court. We're having difficulty contacting the Elven realm. Greyback has already joined the ranks. As an ally rather than a servant his removal from Wizarding affairs after the Dark Lord's disappearance was ignored. I have forgotten who was sent to the vampire coven."

"Voldemort cannot be allowed to contact Avalon. As for the Vampires they choose to stay out of Wizarding affairs and so the Ministry leaves them alone. We've already sent Hagrid to the giants. The Veela are a historical neutral people and we have no one to send. They ignore wizard or witch allies without Veela blood. We shall have to send Remus to talk to the werewolf packs once more."

Remus snorted, "Any pack loyal to Greyback will side with Voldemort to hopefully gain some sense of power or autonomy. Since the Werewolf Registry was enacted the packs have become more angry with the Ministry. They will not side with us because we can offer them nothing. Especially in light of the legislation that Umbridge is trying to pass that will force werewolves to reveal their condition to employers and force employers who hire them to pay high taxes. Also she has listed occupations we are banned from. The legislation also calls for us to be sterilized and to be forbidden to have children."

Remus shivered and then continued, " Corey's pack is already talking about relocation, they have children and they are a neutral pack as long as they side with no one Greyback has ignored them. With Lord Belby's support there are few voices raised in protest. Few will speak for us and insist we only wish to live in peace."

"Are you refusing to talk sense into them?" Moody growled.

"Just stating my opinion that talking to them will do no more good then last time. Things for us have not gotten any better. Since Voldy's return it has only gotten worse for us." Remus retorted, "I see no point in wasting my time or anyone elses. Besides, many packs view me with suspicion because I spoke for the Order and the Order did little for us." Remus retorted.

"Lupin is right." Snape sneered, "Greyback speaks for a majority of the packs because they see him as The Alpha. If he has sided with the Dark Lord they will follow suit. It is useless to speak with them. Those who are not loyal to Greyback and wish to leave will to remain safe from both the Ministry and the Dark Lord."

"So you're giving up without even trying?" Kingsley asked, his deep voice thick with displeasure.

"I see no reason to bother them when they have already made a choice. I refuse to go." Remus said crossing his arms.

"Now Remus," Dumbledore chided, "This is not the time for obstinacy."

Remus snorted, "I won't go and they won't listen to any of you either so forget it. I am your expert on werewolves. They won't change sides and we have nothing to offer that is worth shit."

"Remus you could try." Came Mr. Weasley's familiar placating tones.

"I shouldn't have to bother with a useless embassy to the packs when my talents can be used for other means."

"Besides arguing with me about my Secret Keeper and Snape's report do we have any other purpose other than insulting my best friend?" Sirius thundered.

"I'm sure there," an unfamiliar voice began.

Andromeda cut them off, "I suggest you eat so those of you who work at the Ministry can return without arising suspicion. I believe Arcturus is already being watched."

"Unfortunately." Mr. Weasley muttered.

Then the adults went silent aside from small unimportant conversations and chewing noises.

The four turned to their own meal helping themselves to the plate of sandwiches or dishing themselves bowls of salad. There was water and juice to drink to their preference.

It was some time before Sirius stormed in Andromeda and surprisingly Remus at his heels.

"Sycophants." Andromeda muttered darkly.

"That pompous git! Still inviting himself to authority in my house and trying to boss us around. I really have no respect for Albus Dumbledore right now! No wonder Fudge thinks he's stirring up trouble! If Harry and Snivellius hadn't swore Voldy was back I'd have sworn that was what the old fool was up to!" Sirius pulled out a wooden pipe that had a lion carved into the bowl that surprisingly resembled him, added a pinch of tobacco and lit it. He proceeded to puff away at it.

Then Sirius threw himself in the chair that Harry had vacated when George summoned him out of it.

Andromeda pulled out a small black pipe with vines carved into it and lit it before she sedately sat on the settee.

Remus lit his own pipe, it was white and the bowl was carved like a wolf's head. His smoke smelt of chocolate. He took a seat on the chair matching Sirius'.

Gilly appeared to pour them drinks and set them on the black marble coasters before Disapparating with a pop.

The adults sipped their preferred beverages and smoked in brooding silence.

Harry spoke after a while having finished his meal. "So um…are they always that bad?"

Sirius snorted, "They can be worse. Albus is always trying to have his way and McGonagall sides with him. Moody and Kingsley usually echo them. The others can't have an opinion that Albus hasn't given them. Blind sheep following a stubborn arrogant shepherd."

"Sycophants." Andromeda sneered.

"How many times did I have to say that meeting with the packs was stupid?" Remus growled.

"Bit surprised that Snivellius agreed with you."

Remus blushed, "Maybe he feels bad that he forced me from Hogwarts…I had hoped to… never mind." He glared at Sirius, "You know that stupid so-called prank of yours has caused me nothing but trouble. Severus was my friend was helping me with Potions when you pulled that stunt of yours. He stopped being my friend and only spoke to me to insult me. You really should have told him that it was all your idea."

"He couldn't be friends with us!" Sirius whinged, "He would have kept Lily to himself and then we wouldn't have Harry!"

Remus glared, "He never liked her above a friend and he saw her like a sister you pea-brained nit-wit. Besides, he likes blokes, which you and James might have learned if you had one iota of sense between you. Thanks to you, I'm still single and I've got grey hair from being unmated and having James and Lily murdered."

The four teenagers were stunned and silent.

"I think you two have forgotten our audience." Andromeda reprimanded them coolly.

"Snape was friends with my mum?"

"They were so inseparable they might have been twins despite not looking alike. They grew up in the same small town and went to Muggle school together. It wasn't until they got to Hogwarts that they were finally separated first by their Sorting into rival Houses. Later it was because Severus hung around with Muggle-hating future Death Eaters like Andromeda's cousin Evan Rosier and Regulus. There were other reasons too but Sirius and James' bullying didn't help matters. Seriously, what harm could being childhood friends be? If they were going end up together because they were so close, you and James might have had the same fate. Considering that your grandfather was his mother's eldest brother."

"The bloods too close." Sirius grumbled. "His mother and his great grandmother were Blacks. Besides, I don't like blokes, I like witches thanks.'

"Yeah well I blame my being alone at thirty-five on you." Remus muttered darkly taking drags on his pipe.

"If I hadn't gotten locked up in Azkaban maybe I'd be bonded and have a few kids. If the Dark Lord never reared his ugly head maybe James and Lily'd still be alive. There are a lot of what ifs Remus and then there is reality. Don't blame me for your relationship issues." The canine animagus retorted.

"Fighting amongst ourselves does no good." Andromeda reprimanded them. "Now did you finish repairing Iris?"

Sirius grumbled, "The damn monster loving git lost a few spark plugs and about six bolts. Remus'll have to pick them up. I'll write a list for him."

"What makes you think I'll be your errand mutt either?" Remus growled.

"I was going to ask!" Sirius snapped. "Merlin! I hate being cooped up here! I hate this place! I hate every bit of it. I hate the mad old bitch my mother who used some sort of permanent sticking charm to attach herself to the wall. I hate that Dumbledore talked me into claiming the place! I hate that disgusting Kreacher who hasn't a good thing to say. He's lucky I'm not my mother and I don't use the Cruciatus as punishment! I've been sorely tempted but I'm sure that bitch Molly would turn me in for it. She already hates me for reasons I can't fathom!"

"So what did you four do today?" Remus asked changing the subject.

"We repaired the drawing room." Harry offered.

"Hermione and I replaced all the furniture." Fred smirked.

"I said that black and silver were a superior choice and Andromeda agreed. She changed your ebony to silver." Hermione tossed back.

"Merlin they're like Lily and James. They had to redo the entire cottage and they couldn't even agree on the same wall colour." Sirius groaned.

"Andromeda uncursed a clock that attacked her. It hurled bolts at her. I opened a music box." George admitted ruefully.

Sirius groaned, "Not that music box."

"Don't worry. I closed it in time, now it's laced with protective charms. I did remove something that didn't belong in the drawing room. I'll be examining it and seeing that it is dealt with. It was something that Regulus died for. It must have some purpose, a dark purpose. I'll deactivate it. I believe it was Slytherin's so I would prefer not to destroy it."

"I'll leave the Cursed Family heirlooms to you, you and Bella were the best at wielding Dark Magic." Sirius waved his hand in a dismissive fashion.

"It's not cursed…and it's not just Dark. The object is evil and I would never use the word lightly. Since I'm stuck here for interim, I would like permission to move my potions lab and my research lab here. I can look over the room Remus has and see if I can add any more protections. I would like to also bring Ted. I think that once we have the House set to rights you are going to have a complete physical. Then Ted and I will discuss treatment. Twelve years in that ghastly place are bound to leave physical and mental scars, we'll help you deal with them." Andromeda said coolly.

"I don't need to let some mind healer play with my brain. I'd rather have it left alone."

"Consider it my payment for being secret Keeper. You asked me for a favour. I want you to agree to healing in repayment for accepting that duty I will make myself usefully by stepping in as Mistress of this House, its healer and a second brewer. As talented as Snape is, he has to deal with enough orders as it is. I will take care of our needs as far as that goes, so it is one less thing for the man to deal with. If Snape won't listen to you just take veritaserum and then let him question you. It's simple enough to brew but it will take me a while to finish it. I have recently deceased Bogart to harvest. Perhaps, I ought to have offered Snape some of it."

Remus frowned at her, "I've captured Boggarts before but you killed one?"

Andromeda shrugged, "The spells I used aren't illegal but regulated. I am out of my Boggart supplies. I'll give you a list of my spells and incantations later. I am surprised that with Lyall Lupin as a grandfather it's no wonder you have a knack with them."

Remus muttered and puffed on his pipe.

"We're all rather morose aren't we?" George shook his head. "Since the idiots mostly left what's the plan?"

"We could tackle another room. Why don't the boys take on receiving room? That parlour doesn't need to be pretty just functional and that case we should leave it for the sycophants. Hermione and I have things to discuss so we'll fix up the ladies parlour that is opposite this. As long as Persephone is going to act so spineless she can share the receiving room with the bootlickers." Andromeda said rising and putting her pipe away as well as finishing the last of her wine.

Hermione followed full of questions.

The two adults and three teenagers sighed and headed to do something about the room to the right of the front door.


	11. The Harpy and The Weasel

_**Chapter 10 Pt. 1**_

Harry was woken up by an unfamiliar elf that hurried him to bathe and dress. It was his second full day in Grimmauld and three days since Dementors attacked him so it was now the fifth of August.

Yippee he'd been fifteen for five days now…

His dreams last night left him with a sticky bed and a 'small problem that required attention in the shower.

Harry was so going to get George back, the smug bastard for asking those sort of questions and the kiss.

He was still brooding by the time he joined the others at breakfast.

They were still sitting in the same groups as yesterday.

Gilly probably made breakfast because the food smelled better then Mrs. Weasley's, Aunt Petunia's or his own. This time they had waffles instead of pancakes.

George patted the seat next to him.

Harry sat next to him reluctantly.

"I dreamed about you last night. It was hot…" George whispered when he poured him pumpkin juice.

Harry hit the smug bastard's thigh.

George yelped in pain, "You didn't have to do that."

Harry gave him an innocent expression. "You should know better then to discuss such things at the table."

"It's not like that boy has any manners."

Harry, the twins and Hermione groaned.

Mrs. Weasley had her voice back. Now she could complain shrilly at them again just wonderful.

Harry's half of the table ignored her.

Mr. Weasley and Seph Tonks scarfed their food and left for the Ministry.

Andromeda left to floo to retrieve her husband Ted while Sirius and Remus went to go talk motorcycles.

Harry, Hermione and the twins headed up to the second floor to work on the library.

Molly chased after them with Ron and Ginny in tow.

"You are up to no good aren't you? You're already creating a trio of followers. Are you planning on setting yourself up as the next Dark Lord?"

"Mum we're just going to fix the library like we did the Drawing room, the dinning room and the front room." George glared.

"Why don't you find something useful to do and make your stay more pleasant." Perhaps, then Sirius and Andromeda wouldn't find fault in you then." Fred advised.

Harry's back stiffened and he tried to calm down.

"Why should I listen to you? You should be listening to me, I'm your mother." Molly sneered. "You really ought to stop spending so much time with that arrogant upstart Muggleborn and that brat. He thinks because he's the Boy Who Lived he can do anything he wants. It's about time someone taught him a lesson."

Harry growled, his control snapping, "I've had enough lessons. I was locked in a cupboard for eleven years. Then I had my room turned into a dark jail cell. I've been starved and smacked around for thirteen years. I don't have to put up with that from you. Back off you stupid Harpy!"

"Don't talk to my mum like that you bastard!"

Harry's Magic exploded.

Molly turned colours, her skin acquired a jaundiced yellow shade and her hair turned fuchsia with vomit green streaks.

It hit the twins and Hermione like a tsunami and kept flowing.

Hermione yelled, "Expelliarmus."

She overpowered the spell and the wands snapped when they were ripped from their hands.

Fred shouted, "Petrificus Total us."

His spell hit his mother and Ron though he was aiming for his mum.

George pointed his wand at his brother and shouted a string of Latin.

Then at his feet was a shabby weasel with patchy reddish fur, an odd cross between Scabbers and the ferret Malfoy had been transfigured into that Ron had laughed at for a good while every time he saw Malfoy.

The quartet laughed at the state Ron was in.

Fred's mouth twitched at the edges, "Ginny you always wanted a pet, why don't you have Ron?"

The poor girl crumpled in a dead faint.

Sirius and Remus Apparated to where they were...

Their wands out.

Sirius had filled out, his skeletal frame had been hidden by healthy weight.

Remus' greying hair was honey brown again and his wrinkles were repaired.

"What happened? We felt an explosion." Sirius growled, looking around.

"The overgrown garden and the entire backyard just vaporized." Remus looked very concerned.

"Ron and Mum tried to attack Harry magically as well as verbally." George spat. "I ended up turning him into a weasel. I thought a few hours as a ferret-like creature might teach him some humility."

"I didn't mean to break their wands…it just happened." Hermione swallowed.

Remus and Sirius sniggered at the sight of Molly Weasley.

"Who did that?" Remus gasped between chuckled.

"Harry I guess. Magic just exploded from him." Fred frowned.

George led Harry off to the side to calm down while Hermione and Fred told him about what happened.

Sirius was furious, "That loathsome harpy! I told her to leave him alone. I warned her multiple times. That's it! I banish you from the Ancestral House of Black!"

The walls parted and Molly was flung bag and baggage from the House. Then the House slammed behind her.

"She'll never be able to access the House again and I wiped her memory of this place." Sirius snarled.

"She is still petrified. You think tossing her out onto a Muggle street without a wand is wise?" Remus asked.

"She went too far and I'll not forgive her or forget. Albus can lecture or whinge at me all he wants but she's not welcome here." Sirius sneered. "I'll do that to the next person who tries to attack my godson. She's very lucky I didn't do more than throw her out and wipe her memory of this place. I could have cursed her or something."

"I think we need a drink." Remus said.

Hermione levitated Ginny, "Let me put her on the bed in our room."

Harry was still radiating magic like a sun.

George pulled him close and held him, "It's alright. She's gone. You had your revenge she looks like Seph when she's sick. Calm down. Ron can't hurt you either. He's a petrified rodent."

"What do we do with Weasel Ron?"

Remus cast a few spells, "I don't know what you did to him George but I don't think Minerva could change him back. We'll have to wait for the spell to break."

Sirius snapped his fingers.

A house elf appeared, "Master Sirius be wanting Tilly?"

"Yes…this Weasel is our guest Ronald. Please see that he has accommodations fitting his current state and see that he is fed properly."

"Weasels are carnivores. You can feed him what Crookshanks is eating. A pet weasel is very much like a ferret. They are often fed cat food." Hermione offered returning from stowing Ginny in their shared room.

Fred pulled her into his arms and kissed her, "Ron eating cat food? That's just brilliant. We'll have to take pictures if he eats it."

The house elf picked up Weasel Ron and Apparated away with it.

Remus and Severus led the four teens back downstairs to the gentleman's parlour for a drink and a smoke most likely.

They could all use a cooling off period after that debacle.


	12. Dudley's wish

_**A/N **_ here ya go guys, here's a curve ball. lol

events in this chapter take place right around the time molly gets expelled.

* * *

_**Chapter 10 Pt. 2** _

Dudley was eating an apple while playing Warcraft one handed.

He felt what felt like an electric shock slam into him.

Then he felt something inside him flash and he started to glow.

His computer and everything electronic in his room spontaneously exploded.

His light bulbs in his overhead light and bedside lamp shattered.

His father roared and his mother screamed.

Dudley couldn't understand what happened.

His cell phone was vaporised as well as his gameboy. His Playstation and TV looked like his computer. There were screws and glass everywhere.

Dudley shouted, "DOBBY!"

The elf showed up frowning, "Master Dudley?"

Dudley held out his hand, a backpack appeared in it and then his Zippo, cigarettes, Honeydukes chocolate, favourite books, his stuffed dog from when he was little and a few of his clothes threw themselves into his backpack.

Dudley stared at it and then at the elf, "I can't stay here. Please take me to Harry."

The elf blinked at him, "Master Harry Potter's cousin be a Muggle."

Dudley swallowed, "I think I was a squib…"

The elf grabbed his arm with his long spindly fingers.

Dudley felt stretched through a tiny tube where he saw snatches of attics and cellars before being dropped into a fancy room.

Harry was there on a black leather settee and sitting with one of those redheads who dropped that sweet last year that gave him a tongue like a black snake.

The matching redhead was with a pretty girl with curly hair and a nice rack in an odd shaped love seat.

He saw a slightly familiar man with black hair talking to a man with honey-coloured hair and merry amber eyes.

_**XoooooX**_

A house elf Apparating into the parlour wasn't new.

Dobby Apparating in with Dudley in tow was.

"Oy what's he doing here? Who are you?" Sirius growled.

Harry looked up and blinked, "Dudley?"

Dudley fell over, still glowing, "What the hell did you do to me? Jesus Christ things just started exploding. First the computer…then my game systems, my TV and my cell phone. Then all the light bulbs shattered. What did you do blow up the wiring?"

Harry frowned, "I don't know what happened. I got angry and it just explode."

"What exploded?" Dudley asked.

"His magic." Hermione answered, "It hit me like a tsunami but it tingled like an electrical shock. It overpowered my spell and snapped wands."

"What isit called when you want something and it just ends up in your hand?" Dudley stammered.

"Summoning."

"Just like in Warcraft. Christ this is too much for my head." Dudley grumbled. He opened his backpack and pulled out his cigarettes and his Zippo. He lit it and smoked a whole cigarette before lighting another and digging out a bar of Honeydukes and eating it.

"Dudley did magic? I thought he was a Muggle…" Harry stared at his cousin in confusion.

"Told ya I was a Squib. My magic must have been weak. If I could blow up things and summon, you must have gave me a jumpstart like a dead Auto battery." Dudley muttered.

Hermione frowned, "That doesn't make sense!"

"Didn't you save his life from the Dementors?" Remus asked.

Harry nodded, "There were two, one for each of us. I ended up killing one I think. All that was left was a scrap of its robe."

"Kingsley and I found it. I found traces of a Dementor on it but I have no recollection of one being killed before however did you manage it?"

"The deer thing…it sort of pounced on it." Dudley replied. He frowned scrubbing his eyes with his hands, "You're right…they are hideous. I can sort of see them now in my memories. They were all smoke before. Well it was pinned and the deer thing got really bright. The Dementor just boiled away…."

"What happened when Harry's magic hit you?" Hermione asked curious.

"It felt like a shock, you know when someone touches you and you feel a jolt? It was like that only stronger. It hit me in the chest and then something sort of sparked. I started to glow and then things began exploding." Dudley grumbled. "I was taking on a troll! I almost beat him when it exploded. I hadn't gotten a chance to save!"

"Well Big D I think you go your wish. You're a wizard now."

"I hope I can stay because I don't think I'm any safer with my parents then you are now. I am sorry for showing up unannounced but it was an emergency." Dudley turned to the adults, "I swear."

"If you live under my roof I have two rules." Sirius glared at him.

Dudley swallowed. "What would they be?"

"No telling me what to do and no smoking that crap. Harry can show you where the pipes are. If you don't like one we'll pick on up somewhere. Maybe Remus will take you out. He promised to buy my motorcycle parts." Sirius whinged.

"Alright alright, I'll go. Are you alright Harry?" Remus asked his brow furrowed with worry.

"I'll keep them. I just can't go home."

"Well when is your birthday?" Hermione asked.

"June 27…" the confused boy replied.

"Well then you really ought to be a fifth year. I don't think I can tutor you that far. I've got all my notes and revision for the last four years. You'll need a wand. Since you weren't born magical exactly, you might not have the Trace. Anyway with the wards on this place its fine to teach you."

Fred smirked kissing her check, "That's my 'Mione, the genius. The hat really ought to have made you a Ravenclaw but then we wouldn't be so friends."

Hermione turned red and pushed him off, "Fred behave!"

"So I've got until September to learn how to be a wizard?" Dudley frowned.

"With Hermione I don't see how you could do poorly. Some of us are a dab hand at certain subjects. I'm keen at Charms, Andromeda is a genius at potions, I believe Sirius' best marks were in Defence and well Fred is gifted at Transfiguration."

"I turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider at seven." Fred bragged. "It was even alive enough to scar him for life."

"I can stay awake in History." Hermione piped up.

"Well I think we'll go shopping for school things tomorrow." Sirius smirked. "I'll just come along as Potter's faithful pooch Snuffles. Maybe you can glamour me to look smaller and cuter then my Padfoot Irish wolfhound form."

"What do you want me to make you a dachshund?" Remus teased.

"You better not Moony!"

The two Marauders proceeded to bicker.

The five teenagers giggled.

Dudley snickered, "Are they always like that?"

Fred nodded, "Sirius has never really grown up and when Remus is with him they're kids."

"If it's too dangerous to go to Diagon Alley we could go visit Rue D'Leon instead." Hermione offered.

"What's that?" Harry asked

"It's the French version of Diagon Alley only everything is there, their hospital- St. Vidius, the Paris Gringotts branch and their Ministry." Hermione gushed, "I had so much fun exploring there the summer before third year. I read that you could travel by Chevalier Coach if you were under-age so I just stuck out my wand when I left the hotel we were staying at. It showed up a triple-decker blue bus really quickly. It didn't cost that much to get a ride to Rue D'Leon."

"We really should stay in Britain."

"But it would be safer." Hermione protested.

"I think we'll glamour Dudley and Harry can use his dad's cloak. I'll see who from the Order can come. I know that the twins don't have their school things; since Molly said that they would wait for Harry. I think we'll go tomorrow or the day after depending on when we can get the maximum number of Order members." Sirius smirked. "My French is atrocious so I vote for Diagon."

Hermione pouted.

But Sirius was the man in charge and Harry's godfather so Diagon it was probably going to be…


	13. Wands, book, cats and snakes

_**Chapter 11**_

It took Sirius two days to round up enough Order members for a trip to Diagon Alley, which made it August seventh.

There were five days until his trial…

Andromeda assured him that she and Hermione had everything under control.

Mr. Weasley had arrived at Grimmauld to find his daughter unconscious, his youngest son a weasel and his wife missing.

A very reluctant Remus went with him to try to find her…

They checked The Burrow to find the family clock said that Molly Weasley was in the Hospital. However a trip to St. Mungos came up empty so Remus called up London hospitals and asked if anyone one with yellow looking skin and fuchsia hair had come in. So far there was still no luck.

The house was quieter without her anyway.

Yesterday, Andromeda was so peeved with Seph that she switched Persephone and Hermione's possessions. Thereby giving Hermione her own room and forcing the purple haired Auror to share with a thirteen-soon to be fourteen-year-old witch.

Seph, Andromeda, Ted, Kingsley, Minerva, Remus and Sirius were escorting Hermione, Fred, Ginny, George, Harry and Dudley to Diagon Alley.

Minerva frowned at Dudley, "Who are you?"

Harry smirked, "My cousin, who recently has exhibited magical talent. Apparently the Dementor incident sparked his magic."

"Oh dear you are how old?"

"Fifteen." Dudley supplied.

"You just now are showing magic? How odd." The Head of Gryffindor mused.

"Yes, well he's got to start at Hogwarts. It would be horrid to make him be a first year at his age. If he can pass the end of year tests, don't you think he could skip a few years?" Andromeda offered.

"Well…" the older witch mused.

"He's already caught up on the history. I have all my notes. Anyway he's practising wand work. He just can't cast without his own wand." Hermione jabbered. "Remus said he could give him his Defence exams that he had two years ago if you gave permission."

"It is quite unorthodox." The woman sniffed, "But we have no choice. I'll oversee the exams. I'm sure I can request them from the professors."

They side-along Apparated the under-age teenagers…

Fred gladly took Hermione while George had Harry.

Andromeda had Dudley leaving Ginny to her daughter who was the girl's roommate.

Arthur couldn't get away from the Ministry despite his wife missing.

Sirius wasn't a dachshund but he was a black shepherd puppy that Remus reluctantly Apparated under his arm.

They arrived just outside Gringotts where they retrieved some money before shopping.

Harry had some money left over from First Year but needed more for Dudley.

While they were sure he wouldn't start as a First Year they didn't know what he would be.

"Why don't we pick up Second and Third Year books? Just to be safe?" Hermione recommended.

"There are the electives to be considered then Hermione." Fred reminded her.

"What are they?" Dudley asked.

"Muggle Studies, Divination, Numerology, Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures are the academic ones."

"Muggle studies sounds easy." Dudley frowned, "Magical Creatures sounds fun."

"Only if Hagrid isn't back from his 'vacation'." George groaned.

"So he'll need the Monster Book of Monsters, Magical Creatures and Where to Find them as well as British Muggles and their Habits. Along with Second and Third Year core texts, at least his Herbology and Potions books don't change." Hermione said thoughtfully.

They went into Flourish and Blotts, which was crowded as usual.

Sirius and Andromeda stayed outside as exterior guards.

Dudley never much of a reader but curious and asked Hermione a lot of questions, after all he was a Muggleborn essentially and she knew more about the Wizarding World then he did.

Fred carried all the books that Hermione chose for herself and Dudley: The Standard Book of Spells Grades 2,3 and 5: A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration and Intermediate Transfiguration both by Emeric Switch; One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore; Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger; A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot; Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling and two copies of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard. Along with Quidditch Through the Ages and Hogwarts, A History;

The only books he needed was The Standard Book of Spells Grade 7 and a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard…

Harry picked up books on snakes and defence as well as the books Hermione and McGonagall recommended since he had yet to receive his book list for this year.

Their next stop was Slug and Jigger's where they picked up potions ingredients for George, Hermione, Harry, and Dudley.

Casting a privacy charm Andromeda asked, "Why the snake books?"

"I'm interested in them you see." He admitted embarrassed, "I'm a Parseltongue…"

"That is a rare, a precious gift no doubt from your great-grandmother Elektra Gaunt. You should practice. A great number of powerful wizards recorded their magic in Parseltongue to hide it from the unenlightened. I can't speak it but I've learned to understand it."

They picked up a number two pewter cauldron for Dudley as well as glass vials, one Pair of Protective Dragon skin Gloves- Dudley chose the Hebredian, a trunk, one plain pointed hat, 1 telescope and 1 set of brass scales.

They all stepped into Madam Malkin's for new robes.

Dudley had to get plain uniform and was introduced as a formerly hedge-witched student transferring to Hogwarts as well as a cousin of Harry Potter.

The shop assistant heavily flirted with the poor boy and he spent most of the fitting blushing. They made arrangements for Remus to pick up all of the clothing in three days time.

Harry announced that all wizards deserved a broom and dragged them all to Quality Quidditch when he proceeded to order three Nimbus 2001s.

Two of which he handed to the twins who blinked at him.

"No really we're," Fred started.

"Fine without our Comet 260s." George interrupted.

"You want to hammer Slytherin right? At least having the same broom will give you an edge against Crabbe and Goyle. I started on a Nimbus 2000 so a newer model should be alright. Perhaps you can give him a hand?" Harry smirked.

Dudley frowned, "Are you sure this is alright? You buying all this for me?"

Harry nodded, "You're family. I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind."

"I really wish I'd been a better cousin to you…" the thick teen mumbled.

The twins reluctantly agreed to accept the brooms.

"I think we've got everything but the wand and his pet."

Dudley bounced, "I can have a pet? Really? Mum always said she was allergic. She pitched a fit over your owl. What can I have?"

"First years are allowed owls, toads and cats." McGonagall interjected.

"Toad? That's just boring. No offence but your owl is messy and she tends to stink." Dudley wrinkled his nose.

"Well of course when your father locks her in her cage so I can't clean it." Harry grumbled.

"I don't care. I want a cat. Crookshanks is nice but his face is weird like Figg's cats. I want a pretty one." Dudley declared.

"Then you'll have a cat." Harry snickered.

"They are stubborn creatures who want affection on their terms." Hermione warned.

"I don't care I like cats. They were my favourite animals at the zoo." Dudley grinned.

The group made their way to the Magical Menagerie: Remus, Sirius and Seph stayed outside.

Hermione led Dudley over to the cats there were a few white cats, some tabbies and a lot of Kneazels but a very pretty silver cat with bronze streaks and two tails made it's way to Dudley and rubbed itself against him.

Dudley knelt to pet it.

The others noticed it's purring was odd.

Dudley blinked at the cat, "You can talk?"

It sniffed at him.

"I'm sorry…Tama."

The cat purred and jumped up on him.

Dudley caught it, "He says he wants to go home with me. I didn't know cats could talk…"

"Crookshanks is very intelligent." Hermione gushed, "Si…Snuffles talks to him all the time. "

"Crookshanks is half Kneazel." Dudley explained to the silver cat.

The cat didn't meow, it nya-ed at him.

"Tama says he knows him…at least he thinks he does. He arrived just before you bought him." Dudley told Hermione.

A shop clerk came up, "That mad cat chose you?"

Dudley's cat hissed at him.

"He says he's not mad he just dislikes you."

"The owner will be glad to be rid of him. Silver nekomatas are rare and he purchased him but they didn't take. So he put him in the shop, many purebloods including a Ravenclaw named Chang was interested in him but he turned his nose up at them all. Not many can afford a nekomata," the clerk sneered. "He's 5,000 Galleons."

Dudley gasped, "5,000 Galleons? How much is that in pounds?"

"15,000." Hermione supplied. "Crookshanks was only 15 galleons."

Harry glared at the man, "How much is the price for Harry Potter?"

The a man pushed the clerk out of the way, "Harry Potter wishes to purchase my nekomata?"

Harry sniffed, "Yes for my cousin as a gift."

"I spent 3,000. I have to make some profit so…perhaps, 3,750?"

Harry glared at him, "Really? That's a very high price."

"You see why no one wants him? Despite his colouring, he is a very difficult cat and doesn't get on with others."

The cat hissed.

"He didn't spent that much on Tama. He spent 1000, Tama was a runt and his coat is spoiled by the streaks. His litter mates were pure silver." Dudley interjected.

"He talks to you?" the man snapped.

"Yes." Dudley said glaring at him.

Harry dug out a handful of galleons, "Take it or leave."

The man swallowed and accepted the price.

The group left the Magical Menagerie.

"What an unpleasant person." Hermione scoffed.

"Where to now?" Dudley asked petting his cat.

"Wand." Hermione grinned, "For wands, Ollivander's the best."

The group made their way down to the south side of Diagon Alley to Ollivander's Wands.

They opened the door and all experienced a disconcerting sensation.

They ended up in a different wandshop.

The Order Members looked around and then Remus called out.

"Gareth Ollivander?

"I go by Louis here but yes that is my name. Remus Lupin? 12 ¾" Supple Hippogriff Feather and Black Laurel am I right?"

Harry blinked, "Hippogriff?"

Remus nodded, "It's always served me well."

"What an honour having you in my shop. Quite unexpected. Dear me, to think Garrick is off on one of his core hunting expeditions; Unicorn hair this time. He asked me to look over the shop. Andromeda Black, a 15" rigid Aventurine Powder and Oleander. Is it true you've become a healer?"

Andromeda nodded. "You made my cousin's wand did you not?"

"Yes Sirius, a pity how he ended up. Ought to have known that he'd have an unlucky life with a Leprechaun Hair wand. Yes 14" Sturdy Blood Wood and Leprechaun hair it was. Hm…so who is it that needs a wand? Are Garrick's malfunctioning?" the man had white blond hair that was a bit wild.

Harry pushed Dudley forward, "My cousin."

"Well you are a strapping young lad aren't you? You have a new magic . This is a first wand at your age? What are you sixteen?" Gareth Ollivander asked frowning.

"Fifteen sir." Dudley answered nervously.

"No need to be nervous. A cousin of Harry Potter's is an honour. I made his mother's wand, 10¼" Swishy Willow and Hippogriff Feather. Not as brilliant as her friends. Garrick brags about his Yew and Phoenix feather or his Holly and Phoenix Feather. My finest wand was acacia and Abraxan hair. Yes, Severus Snape has gone far with that one and may go farther. Acacias are great judges of characters…" Gareth circled Dudley, "Favourite future subjects?"

"Defence and Magical Creatures." Dudley replied.

"Interesting. How do you get such muscles?"

Dudley blushed, "I worked out at my school's gym and I'm a boxer."

"Defence, Care of Magical Creatures and great physical strength. That's a Holly wand…now for the core…"

Harry was very surprised to hear that Dudley might end up with a wand of the same wood as himself.

"I am unsure of the wandcore at present. Being Muggle-raised what do you think of gardening? You need a wandcore with ties to a creature. A stone wouldn't do I know that." Gareth mused.

"Hm…I like roses I suppose. Mum never let me in the garden. She always made Harry do the dirty chores. I suppose I like plants." Dudley shrugged.

"What magic have you used since discovering it?"

"Well…" Dudley scratched his head sheepishly, "I sort of blew up things and I summoned without a wand…"

"Hmm…magical and physical strength. Plants…Herbology…Bowtruckle. I bet that would do it." Gareth went over to a stack of wand cases and retrieved a box. "Holly and Bowtruckle skin."

Dudley opened the case and found a 14" wand, whitish silver in colour. He took it in hand and it went off like a firecracker letting off red and gold sparks.

"A Hogwarts student according my experience it seems like you're destined for Gryffindor." The wandmaker strode over to George giving him a piercing look, "Your wand is wrong. What is it?'

"Peach and Unicorn hair?"` George stammered.

The adults snickered at him and his face flamed.

"Pah! That's a woman's wand. Tell me Garrick didn't sell that you."

George swallowed, "Mum hasn't bought any of us wands before. At least not Ollivander's, Ron's was a Jimmy Kindle."

"Kindle? That upstart? He wouldn't know wands if You Know Who was after him. Gregorovich now that is a wandmaker, generations of fine wandmakers." Gareth snorted. "Then where did you get your wand?"

"Mum had a bunch of wands so she let us pick one. This one sort of liked me." George mumbled.

"Peach is a weak wandwood you probably forced it to obey you. House, Talents, interests." Gareth barked.

George sighed, "Charms, Defence, Potions, Herbology, Ancient Runes and Transfiguration."

"Quidditch Position."

"Beater."

"House."

"Gryffindor but I was considered for Ravenclaw and Slytherin."

"OWLS?"

George listed them smugly, "Outstanding in Charms, Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration.. Exceeds Expectations in History of Magic, Care of Magical Creatures, Ancient Runes and Herbology."

"Desired future occupation."

"I'm an inventor and I recently purchased the premises at #93 Diagon Alley. We're working on storing enough product to be able to open in July. We're going into our 7th year at Hogwarts."

"Inventor, questing, a learner; Sycamore then."

"He's a prankster, always plotting." Harry offered.

"Lucky?"

"Happy-go-lucky." Harry snorted.

"Billywig stinger then. I just happen to have one. It was an odd mixture I wasn't certain would sell."

Ollivander said handing a wand case to the teen

"My wand works just fine." George protested as he opened it.

It was sixteen inches in length and carved like a unicorn horn. It was golden, a soft butter yellow colour and gave off blue and green sparks when grasped.

"Use the Triwizard winnings. Write it off as an expense. I think its necessary." Harry advised.

George sighed reaching into his pocket and took out a handful of galleons. "How much?"

"Seventeen, the wood and the core are difficult to obtain. Sycamore isn't often uses though often desired. As for Billywig Honeydukes has the main contract for importing them from Australia." The wandmaker informed him.

George swallowed counting out seventeen and handing them over paying the man.

Gareth frowned at Fred barking, "Wand."

"Alligator Juniper and Unicorn hair."

"Healer's wand. You seem very much like your twin. You interested in being a healer son?"

"No Mr. Ollivander." Fred frowned.

"Favourite Classes.

"Transfiguration and Charms. It used to be Care of Magical Creatures before the professor changed."

"OWLS."

"Outstanding in Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration, Defence and Charms. Everything else was Exceeds Expectations by choice."

"Also a learner and a creative type, perhaps a sycamore wand might suit as well."

"Transfiguration is his best skill. He transfigured a teddy bear into a spider when he was little before Hogwarts and with a practice wand at that." Hermione boasted.

"A master?"

Andromeda nodded, "I would say so."

"Then perhaps, Galena it is prized by transfiguration masters worldwide. A shame I haven't such a wand however I do have both in my workshop. I shall see if they will pair. If not I would be willing to create it from scratch which would necessitate a trip to retrieve a suitable core and wand wood."

"How much would that cost?" Andromeda frowned.

"If the sycamore and Galena stone pair and that suits him the same price; if not then merely a two galleon fee to create it to suit. I had a problem with young Fleur of the Delacour family. She was suited to a Veela hair and Rosewood but it was something I did not have. I had the rosewood but required a trip to visit her family to retrieve a hair for the core. One of my finest commissions, to think it was in the Triwizard Tournament representing Beauxbatons!" the man exclaimed excitedly.

"Perhaps you would be interested in acquiring something rare for a wand core." Andromeda smirked.

The wandmaker was immediately interested, "Such as?"

"Boggart. I have in my possession a Boggart that has passed beyond the veil. I have yet to take it to pieces for its parts."

"I've been eager to experiment with Boggart skin but I lack the skill to harvest it myself because they hard to trap and kill."

"I would be willing to return with the Boggart and allow you to harvest some of the skin in exchange for his wand." Andromeda bargained.

"Really? First chance at harvesting? How much can I have?" the man was radiating excitement.

"I think three strips. No more then one inch wide and say a foot long?"

"I'll have the wand ready in two days if they pair. If not then I will inform you when you come that I will be leaving on a trip won't I?" Gareth grinned he pointed at Hermione. "Wand."

"A 10¾" Springy Dragon Heartstring and Vinewood." Hermione replied confused. "I got it at the Diagon Ollivander's."

"Garrick and his three core obsession. If I've told him one I've told him a thousand times that limiting your cores results in inferior matches that are likely to dissolve as quickly as some claim Kelpie hair does. Classes?"

Hermione blushed and listed the classes she was still in, having dropped Divination her third year and Muggle Studies her fourth.

"Ravenclaw?"

"The hat consider Ravenclaw, seemed to have decided it but announced I was a Gryffindor." The girl shyly admitted.

"Future occupation?"

"I'm interested in Law." Hermione blushed.

"Hickory then. Would you be best described as logical, problem solver and insightful? Capable and multi-talented?"

Harry, George and Fred chorused agreements.

"Red Jasper then. I have a few they are quite in demand for my young aspiring lawyers." Gareth said as he dug out three possible wands. "Try the pink jasper."

Weak spark.

"Orange?"

Not much of a reaction at all.

"Perhaps the true red." Gareth handed her the wand.

The moment the wand and Hermione interacted it went off like a firecracker with blue and bronze sparks.

"Well that would be a Springy9¾" true Red Jasper Powder and Hickory wand. Fourteen galleons."

Hermione stammered, "I don't have the money for it."

Harry paid for it, "Consider it an early present for your birthday and for being a prefect."

"But I've not received a letter yet…" Hermione protested.

"You will. They'd be a fool not to." Fred added.

Finally the wandmaker to turned his sights to Harry, "I already know what you have, Garrick likes to brag about your wand and it's brother. The fool. No insult meant but a true Holly wand bearer ought to look like your cousin."

Harry scowled, "Because I'm short?"

"You do lack the size and strength for a Holly wand." The wandmaker shrugged. As for a Phoenix Feather…your magic is in flux. I don't see it suiting you right now. Perhaps at a later time, perhaps not. For magic in flux I'd recommend an Ebony to ground you."

"That's a Dark wood!" McGonagall exclaimed.

"Yes it is visually very dynamic and the most famous of Dark woods. Interestingly, it also does very well in Protective Magic and Defence Against the Dark Arts. Ebony has ties to each of the four core elements, and thus all the secondary elements as well. It could be considered on of the best wands for the well-rounded Elemental Magic user, I have found it grounds those in magical flux." Gareth corrected, "I am an Ollivander and we make an extensive study of wandlore. I may not be published in Britain but I am extensively sought out for my studies here. To have a Delacour as a former client who is most pleased with her wand is seen as quite the coup in Southern European wandmaking circles."

McGonagall muttered under her breath.

The wandmaker sniffed at her but continued, "Ebony can work well with any core but someone like you requires a powerful core to help balance your magic. Perhaps, Abraxan? It may take some time to master, but will produce very rewarding results. It is well balanced between speed of casting and power but with strong ties to the air element. Wielders often have an excellent constitution for alcohol consumption. Severus Snape has such a wand…let me see I'm sure I have one."

Gareth poked about and pulled out a wand case he opened it, "Ah yes a fine wand, one of my favourites. The Abraxan was quite a fine one, one of Beauxbatons' prize stallions. Hm 13 ¾" Sturdy Abraxan Feather and Ebony. See how it matches."

Harry took it in hand and it showered them immediately with quite flashy green and silver sparks.

"Would I be wrong to say you aren't a Slytherin?"

Harry swallowed, "I almost was one, the hat wanted me there but I thought Gryffindor was a better choice though it was quite insistent."

The adults with the exception of Remus, Andromeda and Ted were horrified.

"Well it seems happy, can you feel it sing?"

Harry could feel it vibrating with his magic without casting. His holly wand never did that…

"This will be fifteen galleons young sir."

Harry paid him still a bit in awe.

The Order members escorted the teens from the shop after Andromeda made the appointment for Fred's commission wand.

George glared at Harry; "If you can spend the kind of money to buy wands and brooms then we still owe you a birthday present."

"I like to buy things for my friends." Harry protested.

"Well we didn't get a chance to have a decent party for you cause some git decided to lock you up all summer." George retorted.

"Harry wasn't locked up all summer!" Dudley protested. "He had chores- more than he deserved though. Jeez he ate more this summer I know that."

"Because you cooked." Harry snarked.

"So you can spend money on us but we can't on you? Merlin you're thick-headed." Fred muttered.

"I don't need fancy stuff. Some chocolate frogs and I'll be happy." Harry protested.

"That's it! You're going to have something awesome." George smirked, "I know just the thing." He walked over to Andromeda and whispered to her.

She turned to give Harry and appraising look, "I know just the place but look sharp Persephone. It's in Knockturn."

Kingsley, Minerva and Seph started protesting immediately.

"Mother! You can't take them there; there are Dark wizards and witches all over the place. Merlin knows how many Death Eaters!" the purple-haired ex-Hufflepuff Auror protested hotly.

Andromeda turned to Sirius who was still a dog, "You trust me 'Snuffles'?"

Sirius tilted his head and then nodded.

"Good boy. You heard Snuffles." Andromeda turned on her heel and led them to the nearest entrance to Knockturn Alley.

Kingsley, Minerva and Seph muttered darkly, hands on their wands and eyed the crowd with intense suspicion.

Andromeda passed al the dark arts bookshops, the apothecary, Madam Potage's cauldron and more before stopping at Salazar's Pythons.

"What could ya possibly be wanting here?" Kingsley glared at George.

Minerva turned white, "You can't possibly…George Weasley are you quite mad? You'll set the school off again."

"I don't care. They'll believe him or they won't. Anyone with half a brain would know that Harry wouldn't come back with that git Diggory's body and tell such a story if it weren't true. Really I may feel sorry for his parents but he's no great loss." He glanced at his twin, "You got a problem with this?"

Fred held up his hands in surrender, "It's all yours mate."

George nodded, "Well then Harry, go pick yourself out a snake."

The Aurors and the Deputy Headmistress outright refused to set foot in the shop.

Tama, Dudley's silver nekomata familiar stayed in his arms and hissed at the snakes in warning.

Not that it was needed they were all caged.

A fact that made Harry frown…

The shop was filled with hissing.

"Harry Potter? Harry Potter in my shop?" a dark robed wizard came forward wringing his hands, "It's been two generations since a Potter came here. Before it wasn't to buy a snake it was to inform us that they were now our owners. What can I do for you?"

"We've come to buy him a snake." George said shortly, his temper on the verge of breaking.

"Of course. Any snake in the shop is available. Even if its labelled sold, anything for a Potter."

Harry muttered darkly, walking amoung the cages: there were pythons, cobras, Runespores, ashwinder hybrids, adders and more.

Harry could hear them arguing about who he would take.

A voice stood out from the rest, "Shut up. He'll take a snake based on their appearance. Most wizards can't speak to us and only want us for potions ingredients."

Harry read the name on her cage…

_Amazonian Rainbow serpent_

Was she ever glorious…

Her scales were the colour of sunset; golden orange to orangey red with black streaks that seemed to outline flames. The scales had an iridescent quality that shimmered like a rainbow or a crystal in the light. She seemed to glow even in the dim light.

Harry leaned over and hissed at her, "Afternoon. I'm Harry."

The snake tilted her head on him, her tongue darting out as if to taste his magic. "You can speak?"

Harry chuckled, "I can. You are only the third snake I've spoken to."

"Tell me they did not belong to you."

"No. One was caged and was from Brazil. He wished to go home though he'd never been to Brazil. The other was a Basilisk…"

"You are strong, very strong. I can taste your magic."

"Would you consent to come home with me?" Harry asked.

"Yes. Anything is better then this tiny cage." She hissed.

"We have owls and cats at home you must not try to eat them or attack their masters." Harry warned.

"I shan't if they don't." she retorted.

Harry held out his hand and the cage opened. "What is your name?"

"Skylla." She replied in a soft hiss.

"What sort of snake are you?"

"I'm a boa." She eyed him with disapproval, "Don't you at least know the difference between snakes?"

Harry huffed, "No. I'm not supposed to embrace being a Parselmouth."

"Then I have a lot to teach you wizard."

"I'm called Harry."

"That is a hard name. I shall call you Ri."

Harry sighed, "If you like."

Skylla slithered up his leg and up his body. She was about seven feet so a little less then a foot taller then the twins.

"What do you eat and how often?"

"I get fed frozen rats mostly but I'll eat small birds, the occasional fish anything I can catch."

"No eating house elves or the weasel." Harry warned.

"Weasel are disgusting creatures." Skylla hissed annoyed as she laid her head on his shoulder. "It's too hot here. I'd like cooler place to sleep."

Harry smirked, "We'll have to make one."

"Something roomier then the cage that I can leave if I like."

"Do leave the arachnid when we get to Hogwarts alone."

George's voice tickled his ear, "Found something you like?"

Harry shivered, snarling in English. "Don't do that…"

George smirked at him, "You seem quite attached."

Harry blushed, "She's smart. Isn't she beautiful?"

Fred whistled, "She glimmers like a rainbow."

"She's a rainbow Amazonian boa. Of course she shines like rainbow." Harry retorted.

"How much?" George asked.

"Her? She's a snappy thing since she arrived three years ago. Normally thirty galleons but for a Potter twenty."

"Not as much as Dudley's cat. That will do." Harry muttered thankful she wasn't horrendously expensive. He wanted most of his Triwizard winnings to fund the shop.

George paid smirking.

"So what do she eat?" Hermione asked with open curiosity.

"Rats and weasels." Harry said with a straight face, "Know where I could find some?"

Rats and weasels were on their list of hated creatures…

Andromeda was a bit smug when she escorted the group back to the alley. "Now we can return home."

Remus picked up Sirius.

Andromeda took hold of Dudley leaving Harry for George and Hermione for Fred.

The very exhausted, slightly perturbed group Apparated back to Grimmauld…

Kingsley and Seph disappearing at once while McGonagall headed for the receiving room to floo back to Hogwarts.

The teens headed to their rooms to put their purchases away.


	14. Molly Hunting

_**A/N:**_Hi guys, been gone for a bit i know. just some R/L being clingy. so, here's 3 new chapters. theyve been written for a while now i just havent had the time to post them. sooooo, in the following chapters, there's a few more curve balls and a sex scene or two (mind you detail has been cut WAY back for ratings sake. now, that being said, heres the newness. . . . . . **WAIT **i simply cannot let you continue withouy expressing my thanks to my wonderful reviewers. you people are wonderful. and a virtual bag of cookies to Atymer for taking some of the sting off those R/L issues that kept me from posting. youre a diamond mate.

_**Chapter 12**_

Remus was arm twisted again to go with Arthur to try to find Molly against his will. Since he still owed Sirius his motorcycle parts he agreed to go and dragged Dudley out with him.

They Apparated to each Muggle hospital again until they end up at Broadmoor which was started as an asylum for the criminally insane.

Despite sharing a name with the Broadmoor brothers from the Falcons who were James' family Quidditch team they weren't related beyond the Falcon Beaters somewhat insane antics.

When they reached the admissions desk, Remus asked politely, "Has a middle aged woman with yellow skin and fuchsia hair come in?"

The woman nodded, "Yes. She's under a seventy-two hour hold. She was transferred from another hospital because she was catatonic. I believe she is still in that state. Are you a relative?"

Arthur stepped forward, "I'm her husband. I've been looking for her for three days now. What is a seventy-two hour hold?"

"It's a psychiatric medical incarceration in events of psychosis." The woman shrugged, frowning at them.

Remus dragged Arthur to a corner, "They interpreted the petrifaction as catatonia. She also looks a bit crazy with that colouring combination. I don't really know how we'll get her out. I suppose because they specialize is mental disorders something like Ted they sent her here when she didn't respond."

"Can we send Ted to pull her out?"

"Let me see when the hold is up." Remus said walking over to the woman at the desk.

"Yes?"

"My friend is understandably upset. I was wondering when the hold is up." Remus asked politely.

The woman gave him a reassuring smile, "Nine tomorrow morning."

"If we sent her doctor to retrieve her, might she be release into his care?" Remus asked frowning.

"Perhaps, it depends on whether they were skilled to treat her I suppose."

"I believe he is a psychiatrist with a degree in psychology. I don't ask for details, it's a private matter." Remus shrugged.

The woman nodded, 'I understand. Some see mental illness as something to be ashamed of. If she is prone to states of catatonia she needs more serious treatment."

"I believe that this is her first incident if my friend's surprise is anything to go by. I believe that she suffers from mood disorders. Her family recently had a son break with the family over politics and this maybe a delayed reaction to that. Either that or finding out one of her sons is gay." Remus shrugged.

He would tell the Muggle woman anything but the truth.

"Her psychiatrist would need to watch her more carefully…"

"Of course. Thank you. I shall pass the news onto her husband. By the way her name is Mary Weasley of Ottery St. Catchpole. They live on the outskirts of town and they were in London trying to contact her son who works here."

The woman took a note of the name, "I shall pass this on to her doctor."

"Thank you Nurse."

Remus dragged Arthur out of the psychiatric hospital.

"Now you can probably send Ted after her if he can convince them that he is a psychiatrist and her doctor. I'm sure his wife can tell her enough of Molly's behaviour to come up with a believable disorder for her."

Arthur crumbled, "If she finds out she's been in a place like the Janus Thickey Ward Merlin she'll be more insufferable."

"You would have been better off with anyone else."

Arthur winced, "I wouldn't have Bill, Charlie or the twins."

"I notice who you didn't name."

"Ginny is a mouse, Percy isn't a part of this family and Ron is a spoilt brat. I consider them her children and not mine." Arthur grumbled.

Dudley spotted a speciality smoke shop and tugged Remus' arm, "Please? The dragon ones are just weird. I want a cat."

Remus laughed, "What are you a future Gryffindor?"

"Are they of a neutral, good or chaotic alignment?" Dudley frowned.

"I think it depends on the person. Fudge is a neutral. Sirius is definitely chaotic. I think Arthur here could be considered 'good'. James would have been chaotic good unless you asked Severus."

"Who is Severus?"

"Your future Potions teacher. He'll no doubt be overseeing your potions exams. He will try to intimidate you. he pretends to dislike children. He hates his job and really would prefer to spend all day in a lab brewing rather than teaching. He would be happier if he could. He never wanted to teach he just wanted to be the youngest Potions Master, First Class. He did it though." Remus said quietly.

"He means something to do you this Severus." Dudley frowned at him.

"Perhaps, but he prefers to act as if I don't exist. I kept a secret from him and he found out the worst possible way. He broke off our friendship after that." Remus shrugged.

They entered the smoke shop together. Arthur had stayed outside to smoke.

Dudley poked around looking at the speciality pipes and found a white stone lion like a lot like Remus' wolf headed pipe. He nudged the older man, "That one."

Remus nodded and paid for it.

They left the shop.

Dudley pocketed the pipe after Remus shrank it, placing it into the pants Sirius said he could have.

Remus Apparated them to a speciality motorcycle shop that specialized in flying motorcycles where he picked up the missing parts for Sirius to get the canine animagus off his back.

Sometimes being Sirius' legs got old...


	15. Adoptions, flirtations and seduction

_**Chapter 13**_

Andromeda dragged Sirius and Ted up to Sirius' 'study' to talk.

"What are we here for Annie?" Sirius said throwing himself into the comfortable black velvet desk chair.

"I've been thinking that Dumbledore has been allowed too much power. I'd like to adopt the boy, he seems to be a decent sort and with parents so bad he has to run away I'd like to make him officially family. Provided you have no objections." Andromeda announced.

"Dudley seems like a decent kid for being Lily's mad sister's son." Sirius shrugged, "Will they give him up?"

"From what I can gather they've abused Harry for being magical. I can only imagine what they would do to the two of them were they returned to their custody next year." Ted offered. "I haven't any clear findings since I've yet to speak to Harry about it. Annie I insist that you talk Sirius into seeing me. Twelve years in Azkaban and two on the run is a lot of stress for the mind."

Sirius winced, "Harry fixed my physical issues from that. Too bad he didn't fix the other."

"Only Veela can do that. Veela mind healers aren't common and tend to be very closed preferring to stay close to the Court." Andromeda shrugged.

"I have no objections."

"I need copies of the Potter wills and yours. I've come up with a strategy that will infuriate the ministry but they will have to accept it because they have created a situation and I shall capitulate." The former Slytherin Head Girl smirked.

"Copies of the Potter wills are stored in the Black Family Documents Vault so even if the Potter copies are sealed those aren't. I was named Harry's guardian by both of them. James as sole guardian but Lily wanted me to share with Remus. She thought he would temper my excesses." Sirius chuckled.

"She would have been better off choosing Severus and Remus." Andromeda muttered, "But I digress. I need permission to access the vault."

Sirius scribbled on a piece of parchment, "What are you up to?"

"I'm going to convince the Muggles to sign over custody of they boys to me. Since you are still considered a dangerous murderer you can't have Harry right now legally and I'm sure that Ted would say that you couldn't possibly be completely stable even if you were declared innocent."

"I'm stable enough." Sirius grumbled.

"If Albus knew you were innocent he should have spoken for you. all they have to do is have the wandmaker testify which is your wand and then test it for the last spell cast to see who blew up the street. Besides you haven't a Dark Mark on you anyway." Andromeda scoffed. "Anyone with sense knows you can't have an audience with the Dark Lord Voldy without it unless you're to be marked. Then again since when did a many-headed hydra like the Ministry show sense? They are like Runespore heads fighting until they kill one another."

"Trust a Dark Witch to resort to a Dark Creature analogy." Sirius muttered.

"Would you expect any less?" Andromeda asked raising an eyebrow.

Sirius snorted, "Not really. You put most Dark Witches to shame…"

"Like Bella? Trust me that is not difficult. It's more interesting to have power that intimates and not use it so they always wonder what you could do rather then to show them what you can do. That is where Voldy and Bella stumbled. Its is best to frighten them with their own imagination then to show them what you are capable of."

"Merlin you're an odd one Annie." Sirius shook his head.

Andromeda turned to Ted, "I will require your agreement to remove monies from our vault."

"How much?" Ted worried his lip with his teeth.

"40,000 Galleons." Andromeda shrugged.

"WHAT! That' 200,000 pounds! Why would you need so much?" Ted yelped.

"For the love of Morganna desist with the screeching. I taught you better manners then that." Andromeda snapped.

Sirius scribbled again on parchment and handed it over, "Permission to remove that number from the main vault. I suspect you shall be paying the Muggles off to give up custody?"

Andromeda smirked, "Of course. With the damage done to their house by magic since they hate and distrust it so much they will not be willing to live there after their wiring was destroyed."

"Quite right. You will see that they are suitable punished?"

"I am quite sure that I can arrange something unexpected and untraceable in the future. at present I am concerned with bring Harry under the authority of the House of Black." Andromeda sneered, "The Muggles will pay. I don't dislike Muggles in general but I dislike those who abuse children in their charge for their own son to away out of fear says much about their living environment. Harry did call that place a hell hole and a prison."

The two wizards looked troubled.

"I shall take my leave then. I have errands to run." Andromeda said rising.

_**XoooooX**_

Hermione and Fred retreated to the Drawing room where they sat close together on the piano bench.

Hermione conjured more music and they began to sing together.

Fred did his best to follow her playing.

Hermione choose Into the Woods music this time and began to play, Children will listen. She liked it best sung by Bernadette Peters from the original Broadway cast.

The song started slow and what was before her was the entire song.

"How do you say to your child in the night? Nothing's all black, but then nothing's all white. How do you say it will all be all right when you know that it might not be true?"

Fred just stared at her.

"Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful the things you do, children will see and learn. Children may not obey, but children will listen. Children will look to you for which way to turn, to learn what to be."

A thoughtful Fred joined in on the Chorus, "Careful the wish you make, wishes are children. Careful the path they take- wishes come true, not free. Careful the spell you cast, Not just on children. Sometimes the spell may last past what you see and turn against you."

Hermione's song took a bitter turn; with Voldy back and gaining power was it any wonder?

"How do you say to a child who's in flight: 'Don't slip away and I won't hold so tight'. What can you say that no matter how slight won't be misunderstood. What do you leave to your child when you're dead? Only whatever you put in it's head. Things that your mother and father had said which were left to them too."

Fred understood her point that Molly went too far and didn't know when to stop. You can't control you children always. You have to let them go at some point.

"Careful the things you say, children will listen. Careful you do them too, Children will see and learn. Guide them, but step away. Children will glisten. Tamper with what is true and children will turn if just to be free. Careful before you say 'Listen to me'. Children will listen." Hermione's voice was full of passion, almost a warning to a woman who could not hear or understand.

Hermione startled to pay her other favourite song. "Mother cannot guide you, now you're on your own. Only me beside you. Still, you're not alone. No one is alone, truly, no one is alone. Sometimes people leave you halfway through the wood. Others may deceive you. You decide what's good. You decide alone. But no one is alone."

She paused for Red's line but didn't sing it.

"I know...Mother isn't here now."

Fred took up the baker's part, "Wrong things, right things...Who knows what she'd say? Who can say what's true? Nothing's quite so clear now- do things, fight things...Feel you've lost your way? You decide, but You are not alone, You are not alone. Believe me. No one is alone. No one is alone, Believe me. Truly..."

Their voice mingled in harmony

"You move just a finger, say the slightest word, something's bound to linger, be heard. No one acts alone. Careful, no one is alone."

They sang through the song, coming to the end.

"Things will come out right now. We can make it so. Someone is on your side, no one is alone."

Fred pulled her into his arms, kissing her insistently.

The inexperienced Gryffindor was pliant in his hand, eager but shy.

Fred unbound her hair and ran his fingers through it, caressing the soft hair. Tracing her jaw, her neck, and her collarbone, dipping a finger to run along the curve of her breast.

Hermione gasped, her eyes fluttering shut.

Fred kissed her closed eyelids, behind her ears and down her throat pausing to nip and suck the creamy skin.

Hermione shuddered.

"Trust me?"

Hermione's eyes opened, "What?"

"To take this a bit farther? I'll stop if you tell me to. I promise. You have no idea how much I want you."

Hermione swallowed. "If you promise…"

Fred Apparated them to the large bed in Hermione's room…

Hermione blushed.

Fred slowly undressed her looking in her eyes for any sign of fear or a wish to stop.

Hermione felt the urge to cover herself as Fred took away her bra.

Fred saw her embarrassment and kissed her, pulling her into his arms, rubbing her back. "You're gorgeous. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing."

Hermione asked softly, "Really?"

Fred grinned at her, "Absolutely. Merlin "Mione I've never seen a witch as perfect; the six hottest girls in school pale. They don't have your brains, your spirit or your heart. Angelina isn't as lovely."

"Angelina? Isn't as pretty as I am?"

"Absolutely, it's an honour to be your first…" Fred said kissing her neck and bringing his hand to cup her breast.

He started slow with a lot of gentle, exploring foreplay.

By the time he reached her hips she was tearing his clothes off.

He found himself pinned to the bed, Hermione's hands exploring him.

He'd never been with a woman that aggressive in bed.

It wasn't unpleasant at all; he enjoyed it.

When he was about at his limit, Fred flipped them back over. He asked again, "Do you trust me?"

She looked up at him, peering intently as if trying to use Legilimency. She nodded, "Yes."

Fred grinned, reaching for his wand and pointed it at her casting contraceptive charms as well as one that ensured her enjoyment. He used magic to remove the last of their clothes and to put up privacy wards just in case…even if her floor should be empty.

He was careful to prepare her gently, when they were finally joined it was more magical then he'd ever experienced.

Hermione whimpered when he entered her, she'd never been with anyone before. It was foreign and welcome at the same tame…

They started slowly, before finding a rhythm that pleased them both.

He'd spent much of the time since she arrived watching her, at her side and they found since Harry arrived that they worked well together.

Fred was brilliant; he encouraged her and didn't ridicule her for having intelligence or using her mind.

Then he shifted his angle and reached down caressing something with his thumb. Hermione screamed with pleasure.

Fred took care to make this enjoyable for the brunette witch, he maybe a playboy but he knew what made a witch wild. Not that he was interested in anyone else…it was amazing how much she changed in a month. Gorgeous…

His orgasm him like a shock spell…yet he was still aware enough to watch her find release and the way she arched up was glorious.

They lay there not saying anything, covered in a light sheen of sweet and just held each other.

**_XoooooX_**

Andromeda retrieved 200,000 pounds from Gringotts from one of the Black Vaults with Sirius' written permission. She had also visited Sanctus Malfoy, a cousin of Lord Malfoy- her former betrothed who became Head Boy two years after she graduated to retrieve custody transfer papers for both boys.

It didn't take long to Apparate to Little Whinging.

Andromeda paused to visit Arabella Figg; the neighbour across the street from the Dursleys and apparently Harry's former babysitter.

The Kneazel-cat breeder met her at the door, then her hand on her heart. "Oh dear…"

"Peace, It's Andromeda, Persephone's mother."

"Seph?"

Andromeda scowled, "Yes."

"I see come in. I knew that Harry would be taken towards the beginning of August but where is Dudley? He's very different away from his parents. I always thought he was a spoiled rotten boy but he seems a decent sort. I maybe a squib but there was magical explosion in that house after Harry was taken away."

"It was Dudley. He manifested magic without training so that he lost control and he said he blew out the wiring." Andromeda informed the squib coolly.

"Blew out the wiring? I knew magic and electricity couldn't really co-exist well but that is surprising."

"How have the Muggles been?"

"They stormed out of the house after the explosion, Petunia was crying and staying she wouldn't stay there. She kept crying for her Diddy. I never did understand her nicknames for the poor kid. Harry was always 'freak' or 'the boy', I ingratiated myself to Petunia enough to become his babysitter but I had to make him miserable, one of Albus' orders. I told him those Muggles were horrible. I complained to him for years. Harry was out there shovelling snow in not weather appropriate clothing. He missed a lot of school as a child and did chores above his age ability. I told Albus over and over that Harry needed to be somewhere safer. He told me about blood wards and how that he was only safe with Petunia. Safe from Death Eaters perhaps, but not from physical danger." Arabella grumbled.

"Well I'm going to convince them to give them up with no magical influence. I don't wish to be accused of torturing Muggles even if they are loathsome creatures who would deserve it." Andromeda scoffed.

"You're really going to take him away?"

"I'm adopting Dudley and assuming custody of Harry as his closest magical relative." Andromeda smirked. "With Sirius still seen as a murderer, treacherous Death Eater, he can't be Harry's guardian. Not that he is ready for the right now. He needs time to heal from Azkaban as you can imagine."

The squib shivered, "That horrible place I can imagine. I saw Severus after he came back, he has scars too. And he as only there a month."

Andromeda bid good day to Ms. Figg and walked across the street to meets with two very angry Dursleys

The Muggles were inside the house and she could hear them arguing.

The woman wanted to search for her precious Dudders.

The man thundered that if that boy did magic he ought to be expelled. If the freak killed his son they should lock him up in prison and throw away the key.

Andromeda pounded on the door.

It was ripped open by a large bull of man who was very portly and had a face like a bulldog.

Andromeda was tall for a witch, about five eight and very strong from carrying cauldrons. So his attempt to intimidate rolled off her like water hitting a impervious charm. "I will be coming in. It's about the boys."

The man retreated after one look at her expression.

Andromeda took a seat on the couch close to the skinny horse necked woman, "Now. Your son isn't dead. He's magical. He had an outburst tied to his emotions not unlike a child's burst of wild magic. Dudley is the one who blew out your wiring. He was terrified of your reaction, thanks to years of seeing your treatment of Harry. He was removed at once and is staying with Harry's closest magical relations."

"If that useless freak had freakish relations why did we have to raise him? I told you to threw him in the bin Petunia but no. This is entirely your fault! If you hadn't insisted we'd have a normal son and not a freak."

"It should have been safe!" Petunia bawled, "I lived with Lily for years and I never developed freakish tendencies. He did something to my Diddly-kins. Isn't not fair!"

"For what reason were you given that Harry must live here?"

"Apparently, my sister died in a particular way that meant that he must reside with someone of her blood." Petunia sniffed, "I never wanted him. He was a little eyesore, lazy brat who spoilt our perfect family. He does nothing but cause trouble. He upset Dudders, stole food, made messes and did freakish things. I don't believe Dudley did this. He loves us."

"He's ashamed of you. You ever wonder why he stopped bringing his friends around? He thinks it's disgusting to be called babyish nicknames at his age. I can't blame him. He decided it was better to live with Harry's godfather then here."

"The murderer? My boy is living with a murderer?" Petunia wrung her hands, "He's going to be killed I know it!"

"Sirius is no more a murderer then any other detective." using a Muggle term for Sirius' position in Law Enforcement, "He got accused of being in the pay of a criminal. Instead of doing a full investigation he didn't even have a trial and was tossed in prison. A fact that will be remedied soon, now I will tell you that Dumbledore lied. There are no blood wards. Therefore there is no reason to keep him. Dudley is a very powerful wizard if his destruction of your wiring and the electronics are anything to go by. He is receiving intense instruction with the hope of starting at the level of a second or third year. For your," Andromeda sneered, "...suffering having to bring up two magical wards I shall offer you the sum of 200,000 pounds in exchange for your signatures on documents transferring legal custody of the boys to me."

Petunia protested, "No Vernon please…"

"If not you'll have two wizards living with you next summer." Andromeda said half in warning, half-threatening.

Vernon agreed, "Alright alright you bitch. I'll sell the freaks. I won't have a son of mine as a freak. I want nothing to do with your lot.".

Andromeda held out the custody papers and the bull-like man signed them with malicious relish. He stalked over to the mantle piece and threw a piece of parchment at her.

Andromeda caught it and sneered, "Another Ministry missive? A pity they are accusing Harry of your son's magical outburst. Strange they have yet to register Dudley as one of us. If you like I can make it impossible for Wizards to track you, even Albus."

"You can hide us from him?" Petunia stammered.

"Yes." Andromeda said smugly."

"If Vernon gives Harry away you have to. I don't want to know what he would do if he knew I threw him out."

Andromeda pointed her wand at them and cast a wizard repelling charm that would make them invisible to any with magic. It was a twisted Fidelius charm, which was to protect an individual rather than a location. With herself as their 'Secret Keeper' only she could find them along with any she shared the secret with.

Andromeda paid Vernon the money in cash pulling it out of her healer's bag.

Vernon took the money having signed legally binding custody papers, "We shall move. I want to forget that those two freaks ever existed. We will pretend to be childless. Dudley never existed. Harry never existed. We want nothing more to do with that lot. No more owls and no more freakish things."

"Very well." Andromeda said snidely as she rose, "Be warned the Dark Lord is back. No doubt he is the one who sent the Dementors after your charges. I would be wary, there are Death Eaters on the rise and they will start wreaking havoc on both our worlds soon. While your address may have been leaked it is possible that your appearances have been as well. Be on your guard. I would hate to have to console your son if you died."

Andromeda left as quickly as she arrived and Apparated back to Grimmauld.

**_XoooooX_**

Dudley was in 'Uncle Sirius' old room with the sexy bikini model and motorcycles posters. He wasn't happy to be sharing a room with someone as awful as that Ron whose antics and betrayal he'd been regaled with by Hermione and Fred who muttered about treacherous weasels. His roommate was a weasel and they weren't sure when he'd be unweaselled. Was that a word?

Dudley didn't really care whether it was or not…

While he had issues with math and writing, he wasn't that horrid at reading.

It was easy to understand his Wizarding textbooks.

He worked through Hermione's First Year textbooks with ease…

Dudley practiced his spells over and over, reviewing her notes. Hermione was pretty gorgeous for a genius. Fred was one lucky bloke, he hoped the older boy knew how much.

He'd encouraged Hermione to take a break for a few hours and promised to be a good boy and study. Being a fifteen-year old First Year was cringe-worthy. Dudley didn't really want to be a second year either so he studied day and night.

Hermione tutored him in History of Magic, Fred in Transfiguration, Remus in Charms, Andromeda in Potions and Sirius in Defense. Andromeda was also a dab hand at Astronomy and as was George in Herbology…

Dudley wanted to get good marks for once in his life; he did not want to embarrass Harry or his tutors.

He loved having magic and living somewhere he could practice was so cool.

He'd been given a hideous goblet to transfigure into a rat and had been surprised to do it the first time and it even looked like a rat that Piers used to own.

Practicing all the time was like training for a quest…

Dudley usually played as a Tauren Monk from the Ragetotem tribe with a quarterstaff and his fists are his weapons with light armour but a wand was pretty cool. Being a seven-foot tall, four hundred pound Minotaur-like creature made it fun to beat up trolls. Of course with Orcs as allies it was interesting.

He was enjoying his practicing practising until something snapped like a giant rubber band.

_"Fuck George."_

Dudley choked.

What the hell?

Sure Harry's room was just across the hall but what the…

He had been a little curious before about whether the Cedric bloke was Harry's boyfriend but seriously he didn't want to here something like that. Dudley wasn't homophobic like his father; he was more ambivalent.

That didn't mean at all that he wanted to hear that sort of thing.

_"Harder."_

Dudley groaned, tearing through Hermione's notes for silencing charms.

He finally found one and cast it on each and every wall as well as the door.

When he was surrounded by blissful silence, Dudley fell collapsed backwards on his bed.

"I won't be able to look at either of them for a while." The poor boy groaned, "When I can, I swear I'm going to tease them. I did not want to hear that but I can't wait for the weasel to be tormented by it."

Having come from Number Four with no clothes he was happy to find that with some sizing charms that Sirius' old clothes fit him well.

_**XoooooX**_

George had plans to get in Harry's pants.

So he talked Harry into showing him his bedroom.

Was he ever jealous to discover Harry had an ensuite bathroom; George had to share with Dudley, Remus, (Ron) and Fred.

Sirius had found his room's contents moved and put in the room theoretically shared by Dudley and Ron. It had been sealed with preserving charms but Sirius had split through Transfiguration the bed into two beds that seemed to be from the Gryffindor dormitory.

Everything was preserved in that room and hadn't decayed like the rest of the house.

Regulus' room was awesome…

"Seen enough?" Harry snarked a bit bored.

"The kid seriously seemed studious with a desk like that. To think he died at my age…"

"Real depressing George." Harry grumbled.

"You need me to cheer you up?" George smirked.

Harry frowned at him, "What are you plotting now?"

"This," George tumbled him onto the bed, pressing his body tight to the younger teen's body and kissed him.

Harry kissed him back…

Since that first kiss George was forever touching him. He dreamt about those large hands on his body. Damn, Harry could feel how hard George was and it made him even harder in response.

Harry ripped George's t-shirt "You're been teasing me since I got here."

"You got hot. Can't blame a bent wizard for being interested." George smirked, wielding just enough magic to strip them.

In response their cocks brushed against one another.

"Gods that feels good." Harry groaned.

George flipped them over and treated the Seeker to foreplay: grinding, frotting, teasing touches, licks, nips and sucking.

Harry was almost overwhelmed by this…

George took immense pleasure in treating the teen to his first non-self induced awake orgasm via a blowjob.

Harry came hard, trying and failing to shove George off before he came in his mouth.

George drank it all smugly, licking his lips before making Harry hard again.

Harry groaned, "George! Fuck! Not again…"

When he was hard enough, George cast preparing charms on himself and lube on them both. With a smirk, George sunk down on his friend.

Harry blinked, his hips snapping up in reflex, "Fuck!"

"That's why they kept coming back." George smirked, "Until of course they found someone else." he said darkly, he seemed to be a convenient fuck until his lovers found someone else.

"Fuck that feels amazing."

Harry loved the feel of George's arse…

At some point Harry flipped them over, pinning George's hips to the bed and began pounding into him.

Wards snapped around them.

"Fuck George!"

George was vaguely aware that the privacy wards snapped but he was too horny to care. He hadn't had good sex since what December? One's hands were only so good…besides it was hard to get off properly with Fred around all the time.

"Harder." George ordered.

They got more intense the closer they came to orgasm…

George was surprised how long Harry had held out the second time. he'd half expected him to come soon after getting inside him but was pleased to find the younger lion had more endurance then that. Damn he was a natural…

Harry came hard again, a bit sheepish when it was inside the Beater.

George finally came spraying them both and falling back against the pillows, "Fuck…that was amazing…"

"You're telling me." Harry groaned.

George groaned, "Damn…I'm going to be sore later."

Harry flushed, "Uh sorry?"

"Nothing to be sorry about. I've got pain potions for this. I sort of pilfered a book for bent wizards back when I was fourteen. I'll lend it to you." George winked at Harry.


	16. Custody and adoption

_**Chapter 14** _

Andromeda Apparated to the Public Apparation point nearest the entrance to the Ministry and phoned in. the Muggle looking phone booth brought her to the Atrium.

Andromeda inwardly sneered at the arrogance of the sculpture in the centre of the atrium.

Idiots…

She took the lift down to the third level

Andromeda made her way to the Department for Magical Children.

The secretary frowned at her, "Can I help you ma'am?"

"Healer Tonks." Andromeda sniffed, "And I need to speak with Madam Greengrass. It is an emergency."

"Oh?" the woman asked in a bored tone.

"Regarding the abuse of magical children."

"I'll see if she is available." The secretary scribbled on parchment and then tapped it with her wand.

It folded itself into a paper bird and flew towards the office at the back of a long room.

There were cubicles with at least two-dozen workers in them.

It didn't take long for the door to open.

Andromeda took that as an invitation and madder her way to the inner office.

"Andromeda." The woman greeted her shortly and the door closed behind her.

"Aurora."

"What is this about?" the slightly younger former Slytherin Prefect asked.

Aurora Greengrass was in Bellatrix's year and it was her twin Demeter Lovegood who became Head Girl that year.

"Harry Potter."

"Oh really and what is your connection to the Boy Who Lived?"

"He is my cousin's godson and his grandmother was my great grandfather's youngest sister." Andromeda replied coolly taking a seat. "I have recently become aware of his address as well as his need for a suitable guardian. He was placed illegally I'm sure with a Muggle relation who treated him like a house elf."

Aurora scoffed.

"Trust me he has been his cousin has admitted to it."

"A Muggle cousin?"

Andromeda smirked, "A Muggleborn cousin. I am surprised you didn't think to ask the Improper Use of Magic Office. He has had several infractions…"

"So he's in trouble?"

Andromeda scoffed, "For self-defence. There are two witnesses to his being attacked by Dementors. He's accused of using magic in front of a Muggle but his cousin is magical so that charge should be thrown out. His first offence was caused by a house elf so that shouldn't be relevant. As for the second it was a burst of wild magic. He accidentally inflated a Muggle aunt but they let him off because Sirius just escaped. That was excused so they best not bring that up."

She pulled out copies of the Potters' Wills, Sirius' will and the custody transfer papers. "I have these. I managed to retrieve the copies from the Black document vault. Sirius was named co-executor of the Potter Estate. As you can see Sirius was named guardian but in the case of his inability they named Remus and Severus. However, Remus can't take custody thanks to the current legislation before the Wizengamot. As Sirius' nearest relative, I have also gotten his Muggle relations to give me custody. They refused to allow two magical children under their room. They had since moved and I have no way to contact them. I am a trained healer, Harry shows signs of physical abuse and starvation while his cousin was grotesquely overfed. They both are in need of the care of a trained healer and th also at least one of them suffered psychological abuse since my husband as a mind healer his services are no doubt needed."

"What sort of psychological abuse?"

"He was called Freak or boy instead of his name. Their son ran away via house elf when his magic manifested and blew out the wiring. He is a big kid but even he was horrified to live under their roof. When I informed his parents he was magical they blew up. It was like being told your child is a squib. They agreed at once to sign over custodym they don't want them. As Harry's nearest blood relation I'm taking him in. I want to adopt his cousin. Dudley is a good boy, sharp as a tack. He has the build of a Beater. The boy maybe new to magic and a late bloomer but he's studying hard. I want to give him family to be proud of."

Aurora nodded, skimming the documents. "I was not happy that the Chief Warlock placed him illegally. An orphaned child is under the authority of this Department. Granted we were in flux at one point because my predecessor was revealed as Death Eater. He would have most likely ended up with you unless we found a closer relation. I would never place a magical child with Muggles blood or not. They can't raise a magical child properly."

"So with these proofs he's mine?" Andromeda smirked.

"Of course." The Head of the Department of Magical Children quickly drafted official recognition of her status as the Guardian of the Boy Who Lived.

"I would like special dispensation to adopt the boy written as Dudley Dursley. I would like to blood adopt him. While my bonded is a lowly Muggleborn and I am a supposed bloodtraitor even as a Halfblood he would have more status and prestige."

"Does the boy agree?" Aurora frowned.

"His parents disowned him for being magical. I believe he would like to feel he has a home and a family beyond his cousin."

"I shall grant you permission to blood adopt if he consents. You may register him as your son this week if he agrees." Aurora wrote legal consent to application for blood adoption as well as receipt of custody.

Andromeda accepted the documents, "Thank you. I've always wanted to give my husband a son."

"I am sure that my bonded would have likes one but as the Head of Female-entailed line there is not much need for one." Aurora shrugged.

"I know my father would have liked one but he sired three daughters; one who would have been better drowned at birth."

"Ah Bellatrix, a pity to share blood with such a one." Aurora shook her head.

"Narcissa is a sight better, saner I should think." Andromeda sniffed.

"Well her husband has a lot of pull in the ministry. Many have forgotten his ties to the Death Eaters. I am glad that the Dark Lord has not returned."

Andromeda sneered, "He has. When he rose any Dark Inclined witch or wizard felt his power return. I will laugh in Fudge's face when he has to eat Dragon dung and admit he was wrong. Harry did not have the power to kill Cedric Diggory. He saw his murder and tried to tell. The Ministry has branded him a liar and is trying to expel him. Expulsion should be left up to the School and the Board, not the Ministry. The Ministry has never had power over Hogwarts, they are autonomous and always have been. The Ministry can recommend expulsion but not enforce it."

"True. I do hope he gets acquitted if he is as innocent as you say."

"If your daughters were attacked in the summer wouldn't you hope they would defend themselves?"

"My daughters are never alone. They are with house elves, their sire or myself. They would be removed immediately from such danger. Who would send Dementors after a teenager?"

"Either a Death Eater or a loyalist. I shall ensure that my charges are safe." Andromeda smirked, "I can't waited to see what sort of reaction the old coot has to my obtaining custody of his precious golden boy."

"Dumbledore? I have no like for him."

Andromeda smirked, "I would recommend that you have the address Number Four Privet Drive Little Whinging, Surrey purchased. There is a squib across the street who might have it arranged. If you have it examined, I am sure that you could try the Headmaster for accessory to abuse of a minor. A legal way to get revenge on him for bypassing the authority of this Department."

Aurora snickered, "I shall look into that.'

Andromeda made her way to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, which was on the floor above her.

She slipped in past the secretary and let herself into Amelia's office.

Ted sometimes worked there with those who were arrested or were victims.

Amelia was also her replacement as Head Girl.

Amelia looked up grinning, "Andromeda."

"Amelia. I've come with information you may be able to use to your advantage."

Amelia gestured at the seat across from her desk, "Do tell." While raising her privacy wards…

"What would if benefit you if you proved that Sirius Black may have been innocent, that Dumbledore and the Minister possibly with your predecessor had him imprisoned falsely to attempt to gave the custody of the Boy Who Lived?"

"How would Sirius be innocent? He was the Potters' Secret Keeper…"

"He wasn't. Sirius was a decoy; he knew that he would be a target so he had them switch at the last minute. If you like I could send an elf to pick up the real traitor. He just happens to be the man who killed Diggory." Andromeda replied conspiratorially.

"Oh? So who blew up the street?"

"Why don't you check the wands? Sirius' was bloodwood and leprechaun hair made by the Ollivander who runs the Paris shop and goes by the name Louis. I don't know who made the traitor's."

"Was it Lupin?"

"No." Andromeda smirked.

"You can't mean…"

"Harry said he was a rat animagus and Ronald's rat escaped at the same time as Sirius did from Hogwarts. Sirius never tried to attack Harry, you can ask him. He was after the rat."

"Animagus' are required to register." Amelia frowned.

"I know of three that didn't." Andromeda replied snidely. "One is dead so he can't be punished."

"You want me to arrange a secret investigation into Sirius Black's case?"

"At least three of your Aurors know he's innocent and haven't approached you either. Unless you still have Moody retired."

"Who is refusing to have him proved innocent?"

"Dumbledore. Which is why I think he's conspiring to keep Sirius deemed an escaped prisoner to be killed on sight. Sirius is the Potters' choice for their sons guardian, at least one of them."

"You've seen the Potters' wills?"

"Sirius was their executor and copies were stored in the Black documents vault. Those copies weren't sealed. Aurora has copies."

"Oh really?" the former Hufflepuff asked steepling her fingers.

"And information that proves Dumbledore illegally usurped her authority and placed Potter with Muggles who abused him. If the property he was previously residing in was purchased and examined I am sure that you both would find serious evidence of his abuse at their hands." Andromeda smirked.

"You really think Fudge is involved with the possible conspiracy?"

"He's now conspiring to have Harry kicked out of Hogwarts which should be a choice for the Headmaster and the Governors. They can recommend it but they can't expel him as you well know."

"I've talked them into not having him meet before the entire Wizengamot. He is only being called before the Council."

"Really? But the full council doesn't try minors unless it's a serious crime. Self-defence or even the use of magic during the summer shouldn't count."

"You'd think he murdered that Muggle." Amelia frowned.

"Oh you will enjoy the look on Cornelius and Dolores' faces with my defence. They will hate me and there won't be anything they can do about it." Andromeda smirked.

"I will since I am the Head of the Council of Magical Law. We replaced Crouch who was dismissed due to his possible involvement with his son's escape. We tested the body at Azkaban and found despite the features of Barty Jr. it was in fact his wife. Crouch's replacement is Lucius."

"Well that will be interesting…it has been some time since I've spoken to him. I will enjoy that…considering who one of my witnesses will be." Andromeda snickered.

"I am definitely looking forward to this."

"It will be very…entertaining to be sure. Albus already hates me; I've taken over a position he wanted. Needless to say Persephone isn't pleased either."

"I will see you at nine am on the twelfth. You will not be informed but the venue will be Courtroom ten."

"What? That hasn't been used since the Death Eater trials." Andromeda glared.

"Apparently they wish to avoid being seen by anyone else. It is to be a sealed trial."

"Well then, I shall have to take a lot of joy in embarrassing certain members."

Andromeda took her leave quite smug about the seeds she'd laid.

'Albus, the last thing you ever want is to make me an enemy. You treated me callously in school, you send my favourite cousin to Azkaban. You allow family to be abused; oh I shall take great pleasure in destroying you. And how nice of Fudge to be making this so easy…'

**_XoooooX_**

Tama had never gotten along with other cats before but Crookshanks was a decent sort.

The Kneazel introduced him to a game of 'kick the ferret' but now that the spell that made him stiff like ice the game was 'chase the ferret'.

The fact that the Kneazel said that the ferret was a bad person who had tried to kick him made Tama very eager to teach the 'human' a lesson.

Crookshanks liked that he could torment his tormentor…

The house elves fed them divinely with silver dishes that had their names engraved on them.

It was like he was perfect rather then a runt or had a coat spoilt with bronze.

They had compared stories of their breeders. Crookshanks had been weeks from being adopted when he arrived at the shop. Crookshanks hadn't had any friends either; his litter mates had all been adopted years before himself.

Crookshanks taught him how to tell an animal wasn't an animal.

They were spoilt and even their humans doted on them and expected them to share their bed at night.

Crookshanks' human Hermione taught his human Dudley how to brush their fur and even taught him how to bathe him. Tama did not like water or baths but he preferred it to those charms that left his fur all staticky. So he put up with it and saw it as Dudley's way of serving him.

The snake wasn't so bad; Skylla liked exploring and kicking the dead puffskins out from under furniture to embarrass the house elves.

The one called Gilly would lecture the other elves if she found them.

Skylla wasn't as social as Crookshanks…

Skylla liked her human who she called Ri and expected him to be at her whim…

If the other pets were his human's school were this interesting perhaps, he'd have more friends.

**_XoooooX_**

Ted was reluctantly roped into retrieving Molly who infuriated his wife so but under strict promises from Arthur that he would not attempt to return Mary to Grimmauld but would return her to the Burrow.

He was dressed in a Muggle suit and had faked certification from the Ministry to deal with wizards who must be retrieved by a psychiatrist rather then a policeman.

He had a file that thrown together for Mary and she would not like what he had but if it would get her out of a Muggle Psychiatric Hospital she better forgive him. Then again he firmly believed she was crazy…

Ted entered the hospital with Arthur who had sent a message that he would be in late to the Ministry.

They approached the desk and were asked to wait for Molly's hospital psychiatrist.

Ted had read up on the DSM to see what they would possibly assess Molly with- Manic Depression, fugue states, catatonia, obsessive compulsive, irrational jealousy and possessiveness to name a few. The only thing that finally drove the Weasley-Prewett scandal out was his elopement with Annie…

He pitied Arthur but there was little he could do…

They were escorted back to a conference room.

Arthur was under strict orders to be silent and let him do the talking…

They managed to convince the Muggle Psychiatrist that he was indeed Molly's therapist and that she had escaped her husband while in London. It would be best if she returned to a familiar environment where she was calm.

Molly was escorted out with leather restraints that had sheepskin to the restraints from leaving marks.

Molly blinked at them, "Arthur? Where am I? How did I get here?"

Ted tapped her mind with Legilimency, 'You're here because a Muggle mistook a body binding curse for a condition called catatonia. That coupled with your garish colouring made them send you here.'

'Where is here?'

'A Muggle version of the Janus Thickey ward. They believe that I am the Muggle version of a Mind healer. You will go along with this if you wish to leave.'

'Fine.'

Ted cancelled the spell and stepped forward to take her hands, "Mary we've told you that you must stay with Arthur. I warned him that a city like London was too much for you. You should have listened. I am sorry about Percy. You are upset, we've come to take you home."

"Where is this place?"

"Some place I warned you that you might be sent if you didn't succeed with my treatment. This is Broadmoor…"

Molly cringed, "I'm sorry…"

Ted unbound her wrist and took her hand placing it in Arthur's, "I'll sign your release papers and then we'll head to the car."

Ted signed the medical release to have Molly released into his custody.

Afterwards Ted led Arthur and Molly out to his ministry reserved car. He paused on his way out to cast a forgetfulness charm on the hospital so that anyone entering to forget that Molly was ever there. Then he silently summoned Molly's file. He'd cast an invisibility charm on it before. Once he had it, it was a very thorough job erasing her presence.

Ted let them into the car and his driver drove towards the Ministry garage in Whitehall.

"Now there are a few ground rules, according to my contract with the Ministry that when I do something like this I responsible for the person I remove. You will be required to have at least twelve sessions with me. Should you miss or refuse you will be placed in the Janus Thickey ward. I own you until I release you from my care. Having a witch or wizard even without a wand in such violates the international decree of secrecy. I am expected to treat you for whatever equivalent diagnosis that I believe you have."

"I am sane Ted Tonks. I don't need you messing my head." The redhead witch declared.

"With your behaviour of late? I doubt that. Since your wand was damaged I am putting you on wand suspension until I deem you mentally competent for a wand."

"How can you say that I'm not allowed to have a wand? Without a wand I'm a Muggle! I can't even Apparate!" Molly snapped.

"It could be worse you could be wandless and trapped as an animal. It makes no difference. You will remain wandless until I declare you competent to own one. If I find you took her Arthur you don't want to know what I will do. I will also be informing Kindle and the Ollivanders of the injunction." Ted warned.

Arthur swallowed and nodded.

"You're doing this because your mad Dark Witch of a bonded put you up to this!" Molly snarled.

"Irrational anger that may result in violence is not a way to get me to change my mind.

"Irrational? You are refusing to let me have a wand! I'm not a suspended person! I'm a witch, owning a wand is my right."

"Actually, it is a privilege that can be rescinded. There are ways to make on incapable of using a wand that are completely legal. I am fully allowed legally to cast it on my patients without censure. I will if you force me. You can return home and allow me to treat you. If you are reasonable and work hard I shall revoke my injunction. The longer and harder you fight me the longer you will be without a wand." Ted retorted.

Molly crossed her arms and glared at him.

Ted cursed at her for her childishness, "I'll release the Anti-Apparition egress wards. You will be able to Apparate to the Burrow."

"Weren't we supposed to stay else where for safety?" Molly pouted.

"Your right to stay there was revoked for violating the rules of the safe house. You are not welcome there. You will be restricted from any meetings that are held there. You can raise the blood wards if there are any on the property. That ought to make you as safe as possible."

"The Burrow has no blood wards." Molly retorted.

"Well then you ought to have considered that deficiency when you chose it to be the home you were going to live during the first war." Ted snorted. "Arthur was an Auror back when the qualifications weren't as high. Surely despite the hurried training he learned some wards that might come in handy. For future reference I don't think it is wise to insult your host even if your stay is reluctant or begrudgingly allowed. If you'd pulled such stunts at Lavender Vale Annie would have tossed you out after the first warning at your second offence. Good day. I have other duties."

Arthur reluctantly Apparated away with his still petulant bonded.

Ted groaned and tapped the glass partition.

His driver lowered it, "Yes Mind healer?"

"Take me to St. Mungos' please."

"Of course mind healer. If you'll excuse me for saying it that woman has the lungs of a harpy."

"You know you are in agreement with a lot of persons who have had the misfortune to meet her." Ted groaned leaning back on his seat and resetting the Anti-Apparition Egress ward.

**_XoooooX_**

A very smug Andromeda entered the library to find Dudley studying defence with Sirius.

"Is it lunch time already?" her cousin asked.

"Just about. I finished my errands."

The three made their way down to the dining room to join Harry, the twins, Hermione and the practically invisible Ginny.

**_ XoooooX_**

After lunch Andromeda accompanied Dudley to the potions lab she'd refurbished where she had been instructing him in the fine art of brewing.

"What are we doing today Healer Tonks?" Dudley asked politely but nervously.

"We shall brew the forgetfulness potion. First recite the twelve uses for dragon's blood from your reading."

Dudley recited seven and then grinned, "The least known is it has healing properties to those with active creature inheritances. The two most commonly known are oven cleaner and spot remover."

"Now I would like to speak to you honestly. Yesterday I paid a visit to Number Four."

Dudley blanched, "Privet Drive Number Four? My parents?"

Andromeda frowned. "I spoke with them I paid them two hundred thousand pounds for the 'care' they've given you both. I found no blood wards that would protect Harry the way that Dumbledore asserted. That was a cauldron of spoilt potion. Now they signed over custody of you both to me. I am according to the Ministry and Gringotts your legal guardian. I have permission from the Department of Magical Children to adopt you as my son. I can with your permission make you biologically my son if you desire it. It would be as if you were a son born to me."

Dudley swallowed, "They really don't want me? I've been trying not the think about it."

Andromeda shrugged, "Then don't. You are very bright young man from what I hear. Ted and I have discussed it and he is in favour of the idea of adopting you."

"Really?" Dudley asked like a kid being offered a sweet.

"Of course. We would expect that you continue to study hard. You will be given the same chances as everyone else. We will trust that you will try hard to improve yourself. Ted and I have a home that hopefully you can spend the solstice holidays at. I will have a room prepared there. Unfortunately, our wards aren't as strong or as ancient as those on this place so you can't decorate it yourself. I will instruct Gilly to do so. It will be your private place, I will Gilly may look after you a bit I will expect you to be organized."

Dudley frowned, "What about Harry?"

"While he is legally my ward he will have a place in my home but my guardianship is mostly in name. As long as Sirius takes care of himself I shall allow him to have input in Harry's care as long as Harry remains a minor."

Dudley nodded, "As long as Harry is given responsible care I have no objection. I would prefer to be the son of persons who were proud of me for proper reasons and didn't call me babyish nicknames that made me unlikely to invite friends to visit."

"As for friends I would have to meet them first and their parents. During times as dangerous as this I would prefer to be careful." Andromeda warned.

Dudley shrugged.

"I believe that this potion is part of Severus' first year exam. However in light of his dislike of Harry he may treat you similarly. So we will practice the difficult potions are quizzes he may give you. Trust me once you have the fundamentals I shall attempt to intimidate you and make you forget." Andromeda sniffed.

Dudley retrieved his potions textbook from his pocket and tapped it to return it to full size.

He then proceeded to open it to proper page he skimmed the list of ingredients again before retrieving them and setting them out in order of use. He set his wand on the table beside his book and began to brew.

Andromeda watched him and said little. The boy has some talent, if she could get him to shrug off her intimidation when he knew what to do and how to do it properly she dared Severus Snape to upset him and make him fail.

**_XoooooX_**

After Dinner Andromeda, Ted, Sirius and Dudley headed to her spell lab where they would cast the blood adoption charm.

They used silver knives to shed small amounts of blood.

Andromeda and Ted squeezed their blood into one silver goblet while Dudley did so in another.

Sirius using the Black family wand cast the spell in conjunction with his cousin and her bonded.

"_Sanguinem mutatio adoptionis._"

Dudley crumbled to the floor, fighting to bit back whimpers. He hadn't realized that having his blood changed hurt! She left that bit out on purpose, that meant this was a test. While never fond of pain he experienced, Dudley took it as stoically as he could. He supposed that it was due punishment for tormenting Harry for a dozen years.

Then the pain went away…

Dudley sat on the stone floor gasping.

"You did well. Now that you are our son we can talk about a name. You've spent fifteen years going by Dudley so I suppose we ought to keep it. According to Dursley your middle name was Basil. If you wish to have it changed to something fitting the son of a Black."

"I'm not partial to the name Basil." Dudley shrugged.

"How about Hercules? You look a lot slimmer and more like Ted now in the facial structure but you have the height and build of a Black." Andromeda observed conjuring a mirror.

"Perfect for a Beater and with the twins graduating you'll probably be trained." Sirius smirked.

Dudley examined his reflection, his muscles stood out more, and he wasn't as podgy as he's been before. His build was a lot like Sirius'…surely the man's clothes from his younger years that he'd been given would fit better now. He chuckled to himself, making a muscle, "Hercules huh? Dudley Hercules Tonks…"

"Black-Tonks." Sirius smirked. "I'm going to file with Gringotts for the Crouch estate. The mother of former Head of that family was a Black. He was part of my being locked up and I think he owes it to me."

Andromeda shook her head, "Wait on that. I've got Amelia looking into your farce of a trial. She's not pleased at all that Persephone and some of her other Aurors know you're innocent and possibly your whereabouts but haven't started an investigation. I planted seeds to have Albus investigated for misconduct. As my son, if Gilly registered as his personal elf she can sneak notes from them about how the school is running, which I can pass on to Amelia. While the School is above and outside the Ministry's control if the Headmaster breaks Ministry laws they can and ought to try him."

"So um what am I to do now…mother?" Dudley asked nicely.

"Take a nap. I'll wake you for your Astronomy lesson." Andromeda instructed.

Dudley nodded, "Yes mother."

Dudley left the room.

**_XoooooX_**

Seph stormed into the drawing room where Andromeda, Ted and Sirius were relaxing.

"Mother! You spoke with Madam Bones today? How could you?" The purple haired witch stomped.

"Amelia and I were schoolmates and prefects together. She was a year and housemate of your father. I see no reason why I cannot visit such a person."

"Dad!" Seph whinged, "She stormed into the Auror Department and chewed us all out. She made it very clear that anyone found withholding evidence of escaped persons; injustice or other such rot would be suspended pending investigation. She's got us all on a leash! She ordered Head Auror Scrimgour to keep an eye on the lot of us. Kingsley's is such hot water…"

"So are Hestia and Emmeline, I imagine. While fighting Voldy is a good idea recruiting Aurors who might find themselves on the wrong side of their superiors is foolish." Sirius snorted. "Back when I was an Auror, a good number of us doubled as Order members. Because the Ministry didn't care as long as the job was done, they even gave us permission to use Unforgivables."

"Sometimes you have to fight Fiendfyre with Fiendfyre instead of Water Phoenix wards." Andromeda shrugged.

"Honestly mother, everything shouldn't have to come down to Dark Magic. Being a Black warps you. Perhaps, Molly's right." The purple-haired Auror sniffed.

Ted glared at his daughter, "Right about what?"

"That Blacks are mad." Seph snapped.

"You will apologize to your mother at once." Ted said sharply.

"I don't have to. I'm an adult and an Auror." The purple-haired Auror grumbled.

"You are the daughter of a Black who is part of the family."

"A family that didn't take notice of us before. If you think I'm going to listen to an escaped prisoner and accused murderer. We have no proof he's telling the truth. He could attack Harry at any time."

"Family is loyal to family." Andromeda snapped, "I taught you better then that."

"You told me my Uncle Sirius went away. That he was a good man. You lied to me. I saw the evidence." Seph snapped.

Harry entered to hear her rant and snorted, ""Words cried by Peter before he blew up the street and turned into a rat? I saw Pettigrew and heard his admittance of guilt. He admitted it in front of four witnesses."

George followed, well because they seemed to come us a pair these days. George was like his shadow or something.

"Anyway," Hermione added having come in behind them, Fred practically glued to her side. Muggle testimony isn't admissible to the Council of Magical Law. I learned that in the books on Wizarding Law."

Sirius grumbled. "True they ought to have done a full investigation. You forgot I was an Auror. I know how things are supposed to be."

"How many times were you written up for excessive force?" Seph sneered.

"So? James was just as bad. You don't see anyone accusing James of things like that." Sirius grumbled. "Look at Moody's record! They came in dead or broken if they came in at all. At least mine were walking."

"Give yourself all the excuses you want. Kingsley and I ought to turn you over to Fudge for the Kiss." Seph fumed.

"You're taken your anger at me out on my cousin. I won't stand for it." Andromeda frowned at her daughter.

"You're acting all high and mighty? Really? You're a bloodtraitor and I get treated like dirt for it."

"I sacrificed my honour to save my sister." Andromeda sighed, "Something you have yet to learn. I tried to hard to give you siblings so that you could understand what it was like to have someone who mattered that you would sacrifice everything for. I just wish it had happened sooner."

"What happened?" George asked curious as always.

"That we found the right sort of person to join our family. When magic and healing failed us we tried adopting but her uncle who headed the Department of Magical Children turned us down every year. We were often ignor/*ed by his replacement as well." Ted shook his head sadly.

"Don't tell me you adopted the tubby kid who looks like he ate half of Honeydukes." Seph snorted.

Harry growled under his breath.

"His name is Dudley and he is biologically your brother.. I obtained permission from Aurora to blood adopt him. His parent threw them out and moved away when they discovered he was a wizard." Andromeda said coolly.

"I'm supposed to care? You made someone part of our family without asking me! You joined the Order and started a rift putting me in the middle. Are you trying to ruin my life?" Seph clenched her fists.

"Do desist with the melodramatics. Honestly whatever became of the manners I tried to teach you?" Andromeda bemoaned.

"I threw them out with all the other nonsense like Sirius being a decent sort. He's a bully, he's arrogant and I don't like him. The Order should arrest him and claim this place for ourselves."

"Foolish girl! This is Sirius'. If you forcefully eject him and arrest him it will seal itself. It belongs to him and bonded to him." Fred snorted.

"That is why the purebloods out to be abolished and their properties seized and shared."

"Merlin she sounds like a Communist." Ted groaned.

"Don't make Sirius evict you like Molly." Andromeda warned.

"What is he going to do toss us all out? He granted this place as the Order Headquarters."

"On terms that have yet to be followed. If they are not honoured he has the right to revoke them." Andromeda snorted.

"Excuses for arrogant pureblood autocratic behaviour. Harry ought to be removed from this place." Seph sneered.

"That's it." Andromeda waved her hand, "You will go to bed and rest. You had a horrid day at work. You will not verbally attack your mother, father or Head of House. You will show proper respect to your superiors. You will treat the other inhabitants of this house with respect. If you cannot treat your adopted brother Dudley with respect you shall ignore him. If you cannot keep a civil tongue in your head or your own choice I shall ensure that you have one at least in this house." Andromeda ordered, "Now go."

Seph turned on her heel and woodenly existed the drawing room.

"What did you do to her?" George asked curiously.

"Ah, that is half Obliviate and half a non-illegal variant of the Imperious. It's a spell taught to healers to deal with stubborn patients."

"How often do you use your wand?" Harry frowned

"I conduct my magic through it but I don't often physically touch it." Andromeda shrugged. "I do if it I am examining a patient. They tend to get unnerved if they don't hear and see me casting the spells. It slows me down yet but it keeps them from getting anxious and expelling wild magic that disrupts my scans."

"Can I learn to do that?" Harry asked.

"Anyone can if they practice. Most are too lazy to learn any sort of wandless magic. Sometimes I think that forcing us to use a wand limits our magic." Andromeda shrugged.

"You should be in bed." Sirius frowned.

Harry waved a hand dismissively. We were going but we heard the ruckus from the stairs. The brat left the door open."

"Hopefully, that settles her. I hate using such punishments on her now that she's an adult. Really we didn't raise her to be that way."

"I know Annie. I'm sure Dudley will turn out to be a decent sort." Ted placated her.

"Run along. You have tutoring tomorrow to prepare for before breakfast right?" Sirius reminded them.

Hermione, Fred and George nodded.

Harry grumbled.

But the four teens left the adults to talk for a while longer…


	17. The Trial of Harry James Potter

A/N: Seph's issues will be discussed in a future chapter we promise. Her name is going to stay Persephone. This is AU after Book four so we reserve the right to rearrange or completely alter the HP universe after that point. Hence Tonks' changed first name and well Dudley being Magical. In honour of our wonderful readers and reviewers as well as kusanosakura's Birthday we're posting up a handful for chapters. Thank you!

**Chapter 15**

The day of trial arrived, August twelfth.

Andromeda sent Gilly to wake Harry and Dudley while she woke Ted and Hermione.

Her original strategy had altered some since she began plotting with the brilliant witch.

Hermione Granger ought to have been a Slytherin or a Ravenclaw. Her mind was wasted in Gryffindor. Were she younger she might have been a reincarnated Lilly Evans.

The five had an early breakfast it was light and Andromeda handed the teenagers calming draughts that wouldn't interfere with veritaserum

Flooing directly to the Ministry would alert them more fully of Grimmauld being back on the network again.

Andromeda decided apparition was best and Apparated Hermione and Dudley.

A double side-along apparition was frowned upon and discouraged but Andromeda had practice so she didn't care.

Ted took Harry.

They arrived at one of the Ministry phone booths and called in so they were transported to the Atrium.

They ignored the welcome witch refusing to register or turn in their wands.

No one argued with the Healers Tonks.

They took the lift together down to the fifth floor.

By passing the Department of Mysteries to the rarely used Courtroom Ten.

The quintet paused before entering.

Andromeda turned to Harry, "Now would be an excellent time to call your elf friend."

Harry hissed his voice low, "Dobby."

The wacky dressed house elf appeared.

"Master Harry Potter sir be needing Dobby?"

Andromeda fixed him with a glare, "Your little incident his Second Year has got him into this mess. He needs you to admit that you were responsible for his warning that time."

The house elf swallowed, "They won't listen to Dobby. Dobby be a house elf and they be wizard folk."

Remus arrived with Arabella Figg, "As promised."

Andromeda grinned at her, "You just tell the truth and he'll be fine."

The squib nodded toying with her handbag.

At two to nine they entered the courtroom together.

Remus stayed outside since it was best to lay low. Andromeda would let him know when to return.

Lady Umbridge and Minister Fudge did not look pleased to see them early.

Neither were Doge and Dumbledore pleased to see them arrive together.

With Sirius on the run technically and Arthur dealing with Molly, who did they expect to take Harry? Remus?

The other justices were ambivalent, or in Amelia's case silently smug.

"Well it was nice of you to inform us of the Courtroom change. Considering the illegality of this trial its courteous of you to avoid embarrassing yourself further."

Delores was puce with fury.

"Why are you here Healers Tonks?"

Andromeda smirked, "I? I am here to represent my ward."

Albus glared, "What are you talking about? You cannot be his guardian."

"Really? Is that because you say so Headmaster? Or are you here as the Chief Warlock?" Andromeda purred.

"Does it matter? I am eligible to attend." Dumbledore frowned.

"Really what hat you wear is of no bearing on this farce anyway." Andromeda shrugged.

"Be careful healer, he is the Chief Warlock." Doge said through pursed lips.

"But for how long will he continue to hold that title?" Andromeda smirked.

"We are here to discuss Mr. Potter's infractions. Not whether the Chief Warlock has the right to attend this trial." Umbridge said in a sickly sweet tone.

"Who are they and why are they here?" Lady Augusta Longbottom asked.

"Mrs. Granger is an observer and my assistant. Ted is a recognized mind healer and has agreed to offer testimony."

"What is a house elf doing here?" Lucius drawled.

"Oh Dobby? I was worried you would bring up his previous so called infractions. Dobby has bearing on the first infraction. House elves suffer no ill effects under veritaserum. He is a free elf and has offered his testimony." Andromeda smirked at her former betrothed.

"Elves have no rights and I think this is a waste of our time." the toad-like woman sniffed.

"If the case is a waste of time why are we all here Dolores?" Andromeda asked pointedly.

"I meant that non-wizard testimony ought to be excluded." Umbridge sneered.

"I'll allow it." Amelia said boredly. "If it's Veritaserum it can't lie can it?"

Lucius echoed Umbridge, "I agree that it ought to be excluded."

"Really Lucius? Afraid he'll say something embarrassing?" Andromeda simpered.

Lucius Malfoy glared at her but went silent.

"What are the charges as you see them Dolores?" Andromeda asked.

"Violation of the Decree against underage sorcery and violation of the decree of Secrecy." The toadyish woman in pink read off.

"Well we'll start with you." Andromeda gestured for Dudley to take the witness stand- well the seat at the centre of the floor.

Dudley sat rather uncomfortably in the chair it was a bit tight.

"Please state your name for the Council."

"My name is Dudley Hercules Tonks, formerly Dudley Basil Dursley."

Dumbledore turned ashen.

"Who are you?"

"I was Harry Potter's cousin and we grew up at Number Four Privet Drive."

"How old are you?"

"Fifteen on June the twenty-seventh."

"Were you present at the time of Harry's use of Magic?"

"I was."

"Are you the Muggle the charges refer to?"

"I was."

A frizzy-haired elderly witch sat up straighter, "What do you mean young man?"

"At the time of the incident ma'am you might have called me squib. I was never a real Muggle you see. Real Muggles know nothing about your…I mean our world do they?" Dudley replied politely.

"What do you mean by were a squib?" Lucius sneered.

"I'm a wizard now. I think my magic was just really weak before so I didn't exist to you lot. I never had a letter. I didn't do the weird things Harry did as a child."

"What sort of weird things did he do?" Fudge asked leaning closer to the railing of the dais.

Dudley glanced at Andromeda.

She nodded.

Dudley answered, "Well when we were about eight I think he turned our teacher's hair blue. Mum tried to give him this hideous sweater I had as a gift and refused to wear. He didn't like it either. The more she tried to make him wear it the smaller it got. Then there was the time she made him have this terrible haircut, it grew back on the way home. She screamed about it for hours." He shrugged, "I wouldn't have wanted to go to school like that. The last one I remember was when we were playing a game. It was sort of like hide and seek. I was looking for him and he was hiding. One minute he darted behind a dumpster and the next he was on the Kitchen roof. Must of Apparated accidentally."

"You don't Apparated as a child with no training." Elphias Doge scoffed.

Dumbledore looked unnervingly curious.

Dudley shrugged, "I don't care if you don't believe it's possible. He did it. I could ask my friends but you don't trust the word of Muggles. I laughed it off at said we mistook for a cat him and he was on the roof the whole time. I didn't even tell my former parents."

"Why?"

"Rather not say." Dudley muttered

"Andromeda."

"Lady Longbottom if he don't wish to say that means it has no bearing on the case."

"Back to the incident in question. You were present?"

Dudley nodded.

Dudley sighed, "I didn't even know he was behind me. Not until he darted in front of me his wand out and ordered me to cover my mouth and be quiet. It got dark fast. The stars were coming out you know it was after nine so it was about twilight. The street lamps were usually lit at the ends of the alley on the streets. They just went out like the power went out but the stars were gone to. There was this thick fog that seemed to reach inside you and squeeze your heart. Harry stood in front of me, his eyes darting between either ends of the alley. I couldn't really see them then; the black fog and the cold just flowed from these dark patches. Like a black hole, we learned about them in science. When my magic awoke when I remembered I could see them…they had these nasty ragged black robes, when they sucked in a breath they seemed to be half tasting, half…drinking in your fear."

"What did you think they were/?"

"At the time? Harry described them as the Muggle grim reaper and told me to cover my mouth and be quiet. I trusted him. He pointed his wand at the Dementor to our right. His patronus…I didn't know it what it was called at the time so I called it a glowing deer thingy."

"You could see it?" Amelia asked curious.

"Yes ma'am." Dudley nodded, "It ran off toward the dark patch of fog which was the Dementor with its head down. It tossed the Dementor up in the air. I saw it hit something and seem to toss it. Then it turned around and ran toward the other patch of darkness. It didn't throw this one."

"What did it do?" Albus asked.

"It was weird." He frowned at Andromeda.

She shrugged.

"It leaped and landed, hovering about a body's thickness above the ground. The fog changed colours. You could sort of smell this rotting smell. It seemed to boil almost. Then the deer thingy, the patronus was standing on a scrap of black cloth."

"You expect us to believe that you were attacked by Dementors? That you killed one? You can't kill a Dementor!" Fudge snorted.

"Why because they feed on souls and are theoretically ammortal? Ha!" Andromeda sneered. "Anyone with sense can tell you they're a twisted permanently animated Inferi."

Andromeda grinned at Kingsley, "You took a look at the location didn't you? Sometime after Harry was supposedly expelled?"

Amelia glared at him, "Well? If you are involved why are you on this panel? You ought to have recused yourself."

"It was to be a full Council!" the Order member protested.

"Tell us what you found Kingsley." Amelia snapped.

"Signs of a Dementor. Well two. The casting of a patronus charm. Plus the scrap of fabric that had traces of Dementor, strong traces but no reasoning why it would be there." Kingsley shrugged.

Dumbledore eyed Harry strangely, "I have no knowledge of a Dementor being killed rather than chased off."

"Just because you do not know of such a possibility does not make it impossible."

"How do we know he is who he says he is or that he's telling the truth? Our magic said that he was a Muggle."

"Blacks would call my Bonded a Muggle. The spells are old. Magic in front of a Muggle or a Muggleborn it is still the same we can't tell the difference. Now if you don't believe my son that he is magical."

"How is he your son?" Dumbledore snapped. "Did you kill off his parents?"

"Of course not. I am not the sort of fool that Bellatrix is. I coolly informed them of their son being magical. They did not take the news well. They had fled as far from our ilk. The thought of having a freak as a son and having to look after two persons with the ability to turn them into toads did not sit well. Anyway your third or fourth accusation of magic during the holidays the explosion? That wasn't Harry ether." Andromeda smirked; it was after a fashion but not inside the Dudley's house.

"Really what happened?" Amelia asked adjusting her spectacles.

"My Magic just exploded. I was playing a computer game and eating an apple. Mu…Petunia wouldn't make me stick to a diet when I was younger. She overfed me but I decided to fix my eating habits myself so I was careful to eat less and it just happened."

"Tell me. I'm always interested in a child's first manifestation of magic. My grandson fell out of a window when my brother-in-law accidentally knocked him and bounced around the garden."

"Yes…well it was like a shock…being hit with lighting I suppose. It sparked something inside me; my magical core I'm told and I started glowing. Then my computer exploded.

All of my Muggle game systems and my cell phone blew up too. Even the bulbs were spraying shards of glass. It appears that I blew up the wiring." Dudley shrugged.

"You don't sound repentant." Umbridge sniffed.

"Why should I be? It wasn't like I meant to do it. I was having fun with my game. I knew magic in the summer wasn't allowed sure but I wasn't a student at Hogwarts at the time. I'd never experienced this before. I just ran away." Dudley grumbled darkly, "I don't want to think about what Da…Vernon would do to me for using magic. He was an abusive Muggle who hated and feared magic. He tried to make me hate magic, Harry and a list of other persons he didn't like. Really, I think racism and homophobia are stupid. I don't care who you marry or have sex with as long as I don't have watch or listen. Some things are better off private."

"Will you prove that you have magic?" Lady Longbottom.

Dudley glanced at Andromeda.

She nodded, "I have no objection Lady Longbottom.

Dudley pulled out his wand out of his sleeve, "I still need a holster. Harry's is so cool. I'll wait until I earn it of course." Dudley pulled one of his textbooks out of his pockets and tapped it to return it to normal size. He then muttered a charm that had it tap dancing across the floor.

"What else can you do?"

Dudley pointed his wand with a smirk, "Expecto patronum!"

Out of his wand came a wisp of white smoke that formed a large lithe greyish spotted cat that proceeded to leap around the courtroom.

Dudley smirked, "Is that proof enough? I know the spell is supposed to be difficult but I managed it the third try."

Dumbledore looked positively green.

"Hm…what else can you speak on?" Andromeda mused, "Oh yes…the Aunt incident. Can you explain to them what happened that time?"

"Oh that. I don't blame Harry at all now. I was pretty sore at the time. I was thirteen and well we tend to make mistakes then. My former father had a mean-tempered sister who raised bulldogs. My former parents have convinced her that Harry's parents were unemployed scum. That his father never held a job in his live and that he was a drunk. We were told growing up that his parents died in a car crash. I bought the story until a giant of a man told Harry the truth much to my former parents' horror."

Kingsley frowned, "James wasn't much of a drinker. A shot or two but he was less keen on that once his son was born."

"I am sure he was. I'm merely stating what we were told. So this was the story she believed and she liked to discuss loudly with my father how Harry would end up a no account bum like his father, probably dead in his early twenties. My former father won't admit Harry attends Hogwarts so he claims he attends St. Brutus' School for Incurably Criminal Boys. Another story that Marge Dursley relishes. She said Harry would be a drunken layabout when he grew up and she thought he'd murder us in our beds. She said that his father was probably drunk when he crashed the car and kill himself and Harry's mother." Dudley paused to breathe.

"Harry told her that they were murdered to which Petunia yelled shut up. Harry must have thought Aunt Marge was full of hot air and wanted her to go away. She started to swell with air and started to float. Harry couldn't have used magic consciously. His school things like his broom, robes, books and wand were all locked up in the cupboard. Harry grabbed his things and ran. Good thing too Vernon would have killed him for using his freakishness on his sister. The mad woman had it coming. She tormented Harry and I think its sick." Dudley snorted.

"This was an incident that Minister fudge himself excused due to Sirius' escape from Azkaban. He said and I quote, 'We don't send kids to Azkaban for blowing up their aunt it was an accident. He had no wand and he knew after the last time you falsely accused him of magic during the summer and he was horrendously punished for it."

"This is the incident that the house elf would speak on?" Lady Longbottom asked.

"Yes."

"Very well."

Andromeda gestured for Dudley to leave his seat.

Dobby moved up.

"Please state your name, race and occupation." Andromeda ordered

"I is being called Dobby. I be a house elf, a free house elf. I is formerly a Malfoy elf. House elves always be hearing things. And we know things we be told to close our ears. Closing ears be hard work. Not work well. Dobby knew bad things were to happen at Hogwarts. Dobby not know how but Dobby worried. Dobby knew of a great wizard who made the bad man go away. Dobby didn't want this great and brave wizard to be hurt. Dobby tried to keep him from school. Dobby beg him not to go to Hogwarts. He said he had to that it was just awful there. Dobby being stupid and not seeing big picture. Dobby decided to get him in trouble. Dobby use his magic to levitate a bowl full of plum pudding. When Master Harry Potter sir not agree to stay home Dobby dropped the bowl. There be no hover charm. Dobby prove it." the elf gestured with a long fingered hand, the book Dudley made tap dance rose and floated through the air. "That not be a hover charm. House elves don't have magic like wizards. We no need taught."

Amelia nodded, giving Lucius a look during Dobby's testimony.

The platinum haired wizard looked scandalized.

"So you're excused his violations of the underage sorcery decree. Do you have any other defence?"

"Dobby can you have me the note you retrieved from Hogwarts?"

Dobby pulled it out and handed it to Andromeda.

"I know evidence obtained this way is usually not admissible but perhaps you would like to know just who signed Harry Potter's Hogsmeade permission slip."

Dumbledore turned white, "How is that relative?"

"I will explain." Andromeda shrugged. "Minerva McGonagall believed because Albus told her Harry's guardians were his Muggle relations. Due to the inflating aunt incident his permission slip was not signed. However following the Sirius Black escape from Hogwarts, Harry turned in a note signed with this moniker, 'Padfoot'. It was not only accepted as legal permission Dumbledore overrode the Head of Gryffindor and accepted it, deeming it signed by a guardian. Unfortunately, the Headmaster made a mistake. He spent years pretending to be Harry Potter's guardian when in fact he had no legal leg to stand on. Harry's legal guardian "

"You forget yourself Healer." Dumbledore snarled.

"Really? The Chief Warlock oversees criminal cases." Andromeda raised an eyebrow.

"Harry's parents were murdered and his parents had appointed Sirius Black sole custody. Given the evidence he couldn't have the boy." Lady Longbottom frowned.

"Sirius had sole custody? That is patently untrue." Andromeda retorted

Dumbledore stuttered incomprehensively.

"Really? You only seated the Potter copies of their wills. You missed the Blacks Apparently you failed to read them; Sirius was an executor of their wills and his joint guardian with another close friend. However if Sirius were unable to care for Harry there was a list of other suitable guardians. The Dursleys were only too willing to be rid of both boys. Really Albus lying to Muggles? I was very surprised to see no evidence of blood wards. Nay any sign of magical protection. "

"Are you claiming to know more then I do?" Albus snapped.

Andromeda smirked, "Perhaps. There were no such protections. I maybe a healer but I am also a First Class Potions Mistress and a magical researcher in what little free time I have available now that I am a part of the Healers College at St. Mungos."

"A foolish appointment." Dumbledore muttered.

"Because I'm supposedly a Dark Witch?" Andromeda asked with a raised eyebrow, "Or because I am a so-called Bloodtraitor?"

"Of course. Why would a pureblood witch with a pedigree like yours wished to tie themselves to a Muggle?" Umbridge sniffed.

"The only person who ought to be tossing such comments would be Lucius and I fail to see Lucius Malfoy insulting me for my bonding choices. If anyone ought to it's the wizard I supposedly jilted. I think he is much more pleased to be bonded to a more serene Narcissa. I had my reasons for my elopement. I have been returned the bosom of the family and my relationship legitimised by the acceptance of the Head of my Family."

"Who would that be? Regulus is dead. Sirius is on the run. All the senior males of your line are passed to the Veil and one knows that a woman can't be the true head of a male-entailed family no matter how much Walburga styled herself as that role we knew it was all pretence and Orion's weakness of character." Lady Longbottom snorted.

"The Head of my House must be considered of age by the Ministry." Andromeda said sweetly.

The wizards on the Council recoiled at once as one.

Amelia was fighting a twitch that seemed a prelude to laughter.

"What are you speaking of Slytherin?" Fudge was purple with rage.

"I am only referring to the situation you created Minister. You and Dumbledore accidentally granted Harry Potter emancipation."

The dais exploded with twitters, shouts and exclamations of shock.

"What are you speaking of Healer?" Umbridge bristled as if she were a hedgehog rather pink draped toad.

"Oh just the tournament. Let us recount the Minister and the Headmaster's decisions. That only of age persons could enter the Tournament. An un-foolable age line cast by the Headmaster of Hogwarts your Chief Warlock. Barty Crouch who was impersonating former Auror and member of this body Alastor Moody, who was a great friend of the Headmaster, crossed the age-line after Dumbledore had invited him of all people to teach students. This man confounded the Goblet of Fire and it selected Harry as a champion for a fourth school. A tournament that he was supposedly bound by magical contract to participate. Ignoring two key facts."

"What were those?" Amelia asked clearly enjoying this.

"That the Ministry previously declared that only of age persons could enter and participate. Harry was fourteen and three months a far cry to seventeen. No one could claim a person of that age belonged in a tournament that dangerous. Instead of properly investigating this highly unusual event and the boy's insistent he never entered he was declared a Triwizard Champion. Thus begins the belief that Potter Lies. So he is forced to compete in a Dangerous Tournament he never entered freely. His rights as a Minor were ignored; he could not enter a legal contract without the consent of a guardian." Andromeda recounted.

She snorted, "Dumbledore's agreement to allow him to compete was erroneous due to his not being in anyway Harry Potter's Guardian. By allowing him to compete you declared him of age. A minor is not to be interviewed by a reporter and be named without the consent of a guardian. Why therefore was he allowed to be interviewed by Skeeter with the other champions without the consent of a guardian? Did anyone oversee his interview with Skeeter? He was practically kidnapped and trapped in a cupboard with that crazy witch. Did anyone review the article before publication? Amelia, Lady Longbottom and Lucius all have minors in their care. Surely if Potter were in their care they would have been more circumspect." Andromeda snorted.

"You want us to believe that we the Ministry made a mistake and declared Potter of age?" Fudge hissed.

"It is highly unusually that given a person of Potter's history that you never sent anyone to verify he was alright. You didn't investigate the use of magic in the Dursleys' house. You assumed that magic used by a house elf was a Wizarding levitation charm. They are nothing alike. Who is this 'Mafalda Hopkirk and if she is this inept she ought to be transferred somewhere where she can do less damage like the Centaur Liaison Office." Andromeda snorted. "What sort of Ministry are you running Cornelius?"

The Centaur Liaison Office was a colloquialism that implied that a person was to be fired. There had never been a Centaur Liaison in that office unlike the Goblin Liaison who was always present to berate wizards and witches alike for infractions real and imagined against the Charter of Gringotts or the Golden Goblin Concordat.

"I am still the Minister and I will be treated with respect." The odious man grumbled.

"Explain to me why two Dementors escaped Azkaban? A fact verified by one of your number who is also a Senior Auror." Andromeda asked in faux innocence.

"That should be impossible." Lady Longbottom frowned.

"I can answer that." Amelia smirked.

"Really?" Dumbledore snapped.

"Someone requested the Potter file from the Improper Use of Magic Office." Amelia offered.

Percy Weasley who was the Council's scribe stiffened.

"A member of the Minister's office, an junior assistant was sent to retrieve it. With authorization by the Senior Undersecretary." Amelia turned to Umbridge, "Dolores would you like to explain why you needed to know his excused incidents of supposed violations of Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery?"

"The brat was causing trouble by spouting nonsense about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named being returned. He's dead everyone knows he's dead." The toady woman snapped. "I just wanted to know where he was so I could have a talk with him and perhaps get him to tell the truth. His previous infractions proved he had no respect for authority. Percival was only too happy to tell me of his rule breaking and rewards for it in school."

"Did you send Dementors to Little Whinging?" Andromeda asked not expecting an honest answer.

"Of course not. I wanted the address for other purposes." Umbridge snorted.

"As for the first we gave evidence that he was not the one who used magic to levitate the crystal bowl of pudding. The only persons who knew Potter's location were members of the Order of the Phoenix, Dobby the house elf, the inhabitants of Number Four Privet Drive and Mafalda Hopkirk. Yet Dolores requested that file. I don't believe her reasons and anyone with sense ought to not either." Andromeda smirked.

Hermione piped up smugly, "If you need yet another witness to prove Harry Potter's innocent of wanton breaking of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery we can provide one. While Paragraph C of the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery states that it is a crime to knowingly use magic in a Muggle-inhabited and in the presence of a Muggle. Clause 7 of said decree also states that Magic can be used both in a Muggle area and in front of Muggles in exceptional circumstances, including situations when the life of the witch or wizard is threatened, or the lives of other witches, wizards and Muggles are threatened. The Ilfracombe Incident which occurred in 1932 when a Rogue Common Welsh Green Dragons attacked a group of sunbathers at Ilfracombe in Devon, England. The Toke family cast the largest group of Memory Charms on the Muggles. They received an Order of Merlin."

"Hermione is correct, Dragons and Dementors are both dangerous and can be considered Wizard killers. Harry Potter managed to do what anyone facing a Dementor only wishes they can do eliminate it as a threat. He was protecting himself and his cousin from a fate worse then death. No one wants to be soulless. It's a state of nonbeing that prevents you from passing to pass beyond the Veil." Andromeda continued Hermione's train of thought.

"Who is your final witness?" another elderly woman who was clearly older then even Dumbledore.

"Councillor Marchbanks," Andromeda curtsied. "This is Arabella Figg his neighbour, she lives across the street from Number Four at Number Seven. She is a Squib and a former member of the Order of the Phoenix and has lived on Privet Drive since December of 1981."

"First a House elf and now a Squib?" Fudge sneered, "Are you making a mockery of this council?"

"Of course not Minister." Andromeda said serenely, "What need have I to do so when you and your office have already done so in such a spectacular fashion? Besides, she is of magical lineage. It is not her fault she lacks magic. I never understood this infatuation of treating magical creatures and squibs as lesser beings. "

"Or Muggle, they aren't that different." Hermione brought her chin but defiantly, "So they don't' have magic? They live lives not much different from yours. They have their own Dark Lords like Hitler and Dark Lards like Cleopatra. They have Unforgivables of their own. Mind-altering drugs that affect one like the Imperious. There are bombs, diseases and poisons that that kill as suddenly as the Death Curse. They even have trained tortures like Bellatrix Lestrange, who are to force divulging of sensitive information. During martial law they even suspend rights and limits on force."

"They still sound like creatures of lower intelligence." Umbridge sniffed.

"Do you understand the concept of Atomic Theory? Nuclear theory? The consequences of Global Warming? The Moral arguments revolving the use or possession of atomic weapons, hydrogen bombs or even neutron bombs?" Hermione glared.

"What is a nuclear bomb?" Lady Longbottom frowned.

"A weapon that vaporises all organic matter and yet nothing is left to poison the future inhabitants that can just move in. it is a horrible perversion of science." Hermione shrugged. "I am sure that a witch or a wizard could create such a device but the Ministry would seize it and its related research while calling it Dark."

Umbridge looked interested, "How do you make such a weapon?"

"It is a very complex theory and process. I never really studied such things. I prefer the sciences of life and not death." Hermione snorted, "If I could I would vanish all related weapons into nonbeing."

Umbridge sniffed as it that was childish.

"I think we have all the evidence we need. We shall deliberate." Amelia announced bringing them back to the issue at hand.

A privacy ward was erected upon the dais and nine members of the Council of Magical Law proceeded to argue.

XoooooX

Harry had watched the verbal sparring match between Andromeda and the Council in bemused fashion waiting to see if he was needed to speak.

To his surprise and pleasure he was never called on to speak.

He'd enjoyed it when Hermione tossed out the dragon reference.

Comparing dragons to Dementors how interesting…

So a Dementor was a twisted Inferi that was something he'd never learned in Defence Against the Dark Arts.

Where did Andromeda learn such things?

Why didn't she teach Defence?

The silencing ward coming down interrupted his musing…

XoooooX

Amelia smirked, "By a majority vote the charges are dismissed without prejudice and the file in the Improper Use of Magic office is to be destroyed. The Minister's office will return their copy to me by the end of the day so I can burn it."

"With all due respect I would like to poll the Council." Hermione asked.

"Granted."

"Councillor Griselda Marchbanks Not Guilty."

" Councillor and Chief Warlock Albus Dumbledore abstain."

" Councillor Elphias Doge abstain."

"Councillor Augusta Longbottom Not Guilty."

"Councillor and Minister Cornelius Fudge Guilty."

"Councillor Dolores Umbridge Guilty."

"Councillor Amelia Bones Not Guilty."

"Councillor Kingsley Shacklebolt Not Guilty."

"Councillor Lucius Malfoy Not Guilty."

"With two votes guilty, two abstains and five not guilty the charges were dismissed." Amelia smirked.

"Well then we shall leave you." Andromeda turned her back slowly on the Council fixing them all with a pointed stare.

Lady Longbottom called out, "Wait a moment Andromeda."

The older woman made her way down to the floor and strode over to Harry. She gave him a penetrating look before speaking. "I am glad you are alright young man. Neville was quite worried when he heard that I was to oversee a case regarding you. I couldn't give details. The poor boy was worried you were to be tried for Diggory's murder. I would like to thank you for being kind to him. He says you are a good friend and he looks forward to seeing you on the Train."

Harry swallowed, "Give him my regards. I hope he had a less tumultuous summer."

"He had nothing like yours I am glad to say. I hope that the next fortnight or so treats you well. Good luck on your Hogwarts exams young Master Tonks. I do hope you like up to your adopted mother's expectations. She was a formidable witch in school. My Francis would speak of her. He was only a year above her and became Head Boy before she was Head Girl."

Dudley swallowed, "I am studying hard and hope to sit my exams soon. I really, really don't want to be a fifteen-year-old First or Second Year. It would be highly embarrassing."

The woman laughed, "I will tell Neville to look out for you." she bowed to Harry, suddenly serious, "If it turns out Sirius is innocent I will have to offer an apology on behalf of the Pettigrews. I am the last. With my sister-in-law Enid recently passed and my brother gone there are none left to continue the line. Thus it falls to Neville through myself."

"I saw Peter. He's alive."

"Well then. I shall see about sending an elf to locate him unless he's remembered its possible and prevented such things the foolish boy." Augusta said stiffly before leaving.

Amelia winked at Andromeda before chasing after Kingsley no doubt to verbally eviscerate him again.

The party of five from Grimmauld and Arabella Figg left the courtroom to track down Remus.

Dobby disappeared no doubt to crow the news to any and all he could tell.


	18. A celebration

A/N: Once again Thank you to our readers and reviewers! Happy birthday to kusanosakura.

**Chapter 16**

Andromeda, Remus and Ted returned to Grimmauld Place with Harry, Hermione and Dudley.

The others met them at the door.

Sirius was smirking and winked at Andromeda.

Fred scooped up Hermione, spinning her around and kissing her, "I told you! I told you!"

"That Harry would get off? Legally they hadn't a case." Hermione blushed pushing him off.

Fred snorted, "That to but seriously you're Prefect! Next stop Head Girl!" still spinning her.

"Like they'd give it to anyone else? She maybe a git and a rotten friend but she has the best marks of our year." came a very unwelcome voice.

"You must be my roommate." Dudley eyed him up and down. "I preferred you as a weasel."

Ron scowled, "Who are you?"

"Dudley Tonks." Dudley snapped.

"Wasn't Harry's nasty Muggle cousin named Dudley?" Ron sneered.

"Nice to meet you too. I had hoped you would be a bit nicer." Dudley shrugged.

"Well we're going to have lunch soon but Dinner's planned as a celebration." Sirius smirked, "Of Harry, Hermione and Andromeda thumbing it to the Ministry as well as Hermione being a prefect."

"What about my being prefect?' Ron grumbled.

"You've been celebrating and lording over us all summer." Fred snorted finally setting a dizzy Hermione on her feet.

"You're just jealous that you're not a prefect." Ron retorted.

George snorted, "McGonagall told me in third and fourth if I stopped being so incorrigible that I could be a prefect. I told her I didn't have that kind of ambition. I was a bit crude and ended up with two weeks of detention. I wouldn't be a prefect if you paid me."

"Yeah right." Ron sniggered.

"Why don't you go away?" Fred glared, "You obviously aren't wanted. I wish you'd ended up with mum."

Hermione and Dudley snickered.

Tama had told Dudley about the weasel games who gleefully recounted the tales during a History of Magic lesson.

"What's so funny?" Ron snarled.

"Nothing Ronnikins…" Dudley retorted.

The other teens present burst into gales of laughter.

Ted pointed his wand unobtrusively and removed the memories jumbled though they were of Ron's life as a weasel. He believed that it was unhealthy for him and his mind could not handle it…

XoooooX

After a glorious dinner of prime rib and lobster with a chocolate lava cake for dessert the approved persons headed into the gentleman's parlour for a smoke and a drink before heading to bed early.

Dudley had the night off so there would be no astronomy lesson due to the easy morning and the trial.

Afterwards they all headed up to bed.

XoooooX

Dudley and Tama weren't exactly pleased to have Ron unweaselled but they made the best of it by ignoring the git.

The teen and his cat curled up on their bed together and went to sleep.

XoooooX

George and Fred dressed for bed

George snuck out first tiptoeing past Remus' door he was just next door. Then past Sirius' and the room Dudley unfortunately shared with Ron. Poor sod…

He tapped lightly on Harry's door and then entered with a smug look.

Harry was leaning back lazily against the headboard wearing only his skin.

George stripped out of his worn pyjamas that once belonged to Charlie they were patched and mended but still threadbare. Once the shop started bringing in decent money he would buy a decent wardrobe.

Harry tackled him to the bed and set out to ravish him.

However they both forgot silencing charms and privacy wards.

XoooooX

Sirius was about to drift of to sleep when the sounds of sex filtered through bathroom's open door.

_"Yes! Just like that! Harder Harry! Make me feel it tomorrow!"_

Oh fuck…

That was George's voice…

"So tight…you want hard? Then lay back and enjoy it."

Harry was…sure they spent a lot of time together but seriously…

Sirius groaned. He was so not cut out for parenting…

Raising someone like Fred who was a lot like himself was easy…

He had no idea how to deal with Harry being bent. Sure he loved him no matter what but he expected him to turn out just like James. Being bent was not in his expectations.

Sirius walked into his bathroom and cast a privacy ward that shielded him from the sounds of sex from Regulus' old room.

He collapsed on his bed naked; it was his preferred sleeping attire. Damn listening to them have sex was a bit annoying. Before he'd be arrested sure due to the war, Auror training, his caseload and his duties as an Order member his sex life was sporadic at best but he was always able to pick up birds when he wanted them.

Sure he was careful casting the contraception charms on himself, strong ones since he hadn't been interested in siring kids with his hook ups.

He really, really wanted to be declared an innocent man so he could get on with his life and live life like a normal wizard. He'd also like to do things that would make Remus' life better like having the Anti-werewolf legislation thrown out.

If the Ministry/Wizengamot really thought Harry was of age then he should counsel Harry to ask Annie to serve as his representative in the Wizengamot. She could do a lot of good, she may have bonded beneath her and become a jilt but her work as a Healer and a First Class Potions Mistress had to have redeemed her enough. Her views on magical creatures and politics while not exactly his own or Harry's would do some good.

Andromeda could fight for him and for Remus as well as place limits on the influence of a seated Headmaster on the Wizengamot or requirements for a Chief Warlock.

If Albus refused to do his duty as a Chief Warlock he ought to be removed.

Look how Albus had treated himself and Harry? Who else had he taken authority over and screwed with or ruined their lives up? Lucky for them that Dudley hadn't be discovered before. Who knew what other horrors the man was responsible! He at least deserved a real trial. He was sentenced without a chance to defend himself; which was illegal and he was tried on hearsay from Muggle witnesses, which wasn't admissible. If Ministry Obliviators took the memories from the Muggles and examined them for flaws before Obliviating them.

It would be a long sleepless night thanks to Harry's thoughtlessness.

XoooooX

Fred slipped into Hermione's room to find her already under the covers. He undressed and slid in with her passing only to cast contraceptive charms as well as those that would loosen her up.

He then disappeared under the covers to rock her world; he had every intention of using his mouth and hands to come until he had her begging for him.

Best thing about magic was that pregnancy was almost completely preventable: well 95%. But it was better then nothing right? He really liked Hermione and sex with her was brilliant the best he'd ever had. Damn that girl was a wild cat in bed.

Pleasuring her in new ways was a great reward don't you think?

XoooooX

Hermione was complexly embarrassed; she'd showered quickly taking care with her hair so that it was clean and yet merely curly not a frizzy mess.

She dried and slipped into the bed without dressing.

She'd cast privacy charms and silencing wards after their first time in case he spent the night. Especially since she shared a wall with his father's room and didn't wish to disturb him or alert him. It wasn't as if she was ashamed of being Fred's lover, she just felt that what happened in the bedroom should stay there. She wasn't comfortable with public displays of affection, which is why his behaviour after the trial when he congratulated her for becoming prefect. She should have been angry with him for opening her letter from their Head of House…

Fred didn't take too long to slip into her room.

He stripped for her; Hermione practically drooled over his perfectly sculpted muscular body. He was tall about six feet, two inches she was sure. At seventeen he may or may not be done.

Her man slid into bed with her and cast the charms she knew about a few new ones but before she was able to ask he'd spread her legs and was between them.

Then her world exploded…

Once she'd let Fred Weasley take her to bed she should have known she would never be the same.

Talk about celebrating…

XoooooX

Ron was furious.

Harry's Muggle cousin was now a wizard and had taken over his room that he should have shared with Harry.

His own brother had stolen his best friend.

Hermione thought she was a queen since Fred set his eye on her.

Ha! They'd be lucky to last the summer. Fred slept around and went through girls as often as Snape took points for ludicrous reasons.

His brothers never had time for him and bullied him all the time.

He was a prefect now; let them try those tactics now. Ron sneered into his pillow he'd toss them in detention so fast.

Another cat? Merlin he hated cats.

XoooooX

Skylla was wrapped on a leather blanket her human Ri laced with heating charms that duplicated the proper weather of her species' native home. While she hadn't been breed there her body acted like it was.

She was a bit annoyed at Ri for copulating all the time.

At five years and 7ft she had yet to copulate.

Salazar's kept the shop too warm for them to be subjected to the affects or a breeding season. Yet her human was thoughtful enough to make it possible…

If only she could find a worthy snake…

Surely her human would fault her for wanting to breed.

If he did well she could be very snappy and treat him with distain. She had almost four years of practice in showing her displeasure at Salazar's. She intended to follow him often; she tolerated his abandonment here because the house was interesting. One sight of the large bird thing in the place the elves called the attic and Skylla was cured of exploring there. With the slow temperature adjustment she sensed that her breeding cycle might approach normally.

What chance was there of finding a worthy snake in such a place? She'd been told that the pets were not food.

A pity the weasel was off the menu…back when he was a weasel. He was preferable as such.

A fact that the cats complained about…

Hopefully he stayed away from her human.

She may not be allowed to be poisonous all the time but she could still bit him. Magical snakes regardless of type were all poisonous but they could choose when to secrete venom. It was rare that snake venom from non-Runespoors or basilisks to be fatal to wizards.

Skylla coiled her body around her head and choose to sleep.

She was naturally nocturnal but in this house it was easiest if she followed the diurnal habits of the humans and the cats.


	19. Sex Lectures

A/N: Once again Thank you to our readers and reviewers! Happy birthday to kusanosakura. btw anyone interested in seeing what the New Grimmauld looks like can add her fanfiction facebook and check it our. the address should be found on her profile.

Chapter 17

Andromeda left her room that she shared with Ted to catch Fred sneaking out of Hermione's room.

She cleared her throat.

The teen boys turned and looked at her. Fred turned as red as his hair and disApparated on the spot.

Cowardly Gryffindor…

Andromeda would send Sirius to lecture him.

XoooooX

Andromeda forced Sirius to agree to give Fred and Dudley lectures on safe sex and dragged Hermione into the ladies parlour after breakfast.

"So tell me and be honest how long you and Fred have been intimate?" Andromeda frowned at the young woman.

Hermione blushed, "Um…a few days?"

"How many exactly? I'm not asking as a parent but as a healer who specialises in Women's health and child bearing. We're talking as a healer and patient therefore I can't inform your parents without your permission or unless this activity resulted in a pregnancy that threatened your life which isn't probable." Andromeda said sharply.

"Five maybe?" Hermione offered in a small voice.

"Was he responsible enough to cast contraceptive charms?"

Hermione nodded, "He said he did. My body turned cold and blue for a short while."

Andromeda nodded, "At least he has some sense." She took her arm and Apparated them to Diagon Alley.

They appeared in front of Flourish and Blots.

Andromeda dragged her into the store and through the shelves until they care to a stop.

Andromeda skimmed the titles of several books before fishing one out. "Here."

Hermione accepted it.

'**Your body and you: A witch's guide to sex, contraception and pregnancy**.'

Hermione flushed.

"You ought to not always leave it up to your partner. Sometimes in the heat of the moment they forget. There is a list on potions and incantations that will protect you from accidents. At your age you ought to focus on school rather than being forced to deal with a bonded and a child."

Hermione swallowed, "Thank you?"

"Well you're an adult in the healing field pick out anything here you want. I have a few particular favourites." Andromeda walked over to the romance shelves and retrieved three titles. "Diamante Baianchessi and Jacqueline Farley, personal favourites."

Hermione picked up a book, and skimmed it.

An animated illustration caught her eye and she coughed nearly dropping the book.

"Is something wrong Hermione?" Andromeda asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I didn't expect to see anything so…graphic."

"You didn't expect a still photo or a sketch like in a Muggle Harlequin novel did you?" Andromeda teased.

Hermione swallowed, "I wasn't sure what to expect."

"Seduced by the Veela, The Veela Affair and Kidnapped, my life as a Veela's sex slave. I recommend these. I find them to be quite stimulating…" Andromeda handed over the titles.

Hermione accepted them blushing.

"I think this shall suffice. We have a few stores to visit."

XoooooX

A very tired looking Sirius had begged him to talk to Harry and remind him about privacy wards on their way to breakfast.

So since Sirius had been forced to talk to Fred and Dudley in the smoking parlour a reluctant Remus pushed Harry and George up to the library.

Harry sighed, "What is it?"

"Apparently you forgot silencing charms or privacy wards." Remus chided them. "Sirius apparently got an earful before he blocked you two from his side. I really don't care if you are sexually active but do take care to be polite to others. I should have a problem with this since George is of age and you're not. However I'm going to air on the notion that you know what you're doing. Since neither of you can conceive as easily as a witch its safer. I had thought perhaps you and Hermione,"

Harry coughed, "What? No way. She's the closest thing to a sister I've got."

"Well a pity but if George make you happy," Remus began.

"We're just friends." George interrupted. "Nothing more or less. I'm just here for release and experience. It's best if he learns with someone he trusts."

"Odd usually Potters are only sexually interested in one person. James only wanted Lily and was celibate until she let him take her to bed." Remus frowned.

"Then I guess I'm not as much like my father." Harry shrugged.

"Well that's not necessarily a bad thing. Now if I could just make Severus to see you're not James. I think Sirius finally realised it. A pity it took hearing you have sex with another wizard to get that through his thick head." Remus chuckled. "Teaching you for a year helped me see you as your own person. I thought you would be more like James. While you have some recklessness, you are a thoughtful young man. Though I think you have Lily's temper…"

"Well he is feisty." George teased nudging Harry who promptly scowled at him.

XoooooX

Sirius lit his pipe and took a few drags before beginning. "I'm sure you know why you're here Fred."

Fred winced, "Because Andromeda caught me coming out of Hermione's bedroom."

Dudley choked on his coffee, "I knew you were close but damn you must work fast."

"Girls like Hermione don't show up often." Fred shrugged.

"She's a nice girl." Sirius admitted, "Were I twenty years younger I might chase her myself."

"I'm not a sharer." Fred warned.

Sirius shrugged, "I didn't say I was serious. I said if I were twenty years younger I'd consider it. Now you are practicing safe sex correct?"

Fred nodded, "Before I touch her usually, I'd like to be careful. She's bright and could really go places. Saddling her with a kid at her age would be cruel and selfish."

"Well if you are going to have sex don't do it in public and always use contraception. She deserves better then a fumble in the dormitory." Sirius warned, "Or in deserted classrooms and alcoves."

"All things you did in school." Fred snickered, "Really to be serious Sirius I've got no reason to treat her like she's a fling. She's smart, gorgeous and she doesn't think my pranks are stupid."

"They are bloody brilliant. I had Remus transfer some of my galleons into your business vault some time ago when he helped you out with setting up a business vault. So when you officially go into business and I'm declared an innocent man well you can add me to the list of investors."

Fred gaped at him forgetting his manners.

"Well a Marauder ought to help out a fellow prankster shouldn't they?" Sirius raised an eyebrow.

"Marauder…you're one of 'em? Which one?"

"Padfoot at your service."

"That means…" Fred stammered.

"That James was Prongs because he was a stag just like Harry's patronus. Remus is Moony and the traitor you already met. He was Ron's pet rat Scabbers and went by the nickname of Wormtail because his tail looked like a worm. I was rather silent on all four paws so I was Padfoot."

"Why is Remus Moony anyway…?" Dudley asked.

"Because he's a werewolf…" Fred answered.

Fred hadn't known until the Order meeting they eavesdropped on before Dudley showed up.

"As for you Dudley, sex is alright with wizards and witches. Just with witches you ought to use protection. Muggle methods are useless for wizards so don't bother with them. I'm sure Ted will pick you up a book or Fred will teach you some spells. Andromeda may teach you a potion if you ask nicely." Sirius shrugged.

"I don't care that Harry like blokes. George is a decent sort. But I prefer girls. I had a good friend Jasmine when I went to my old school. She attended an all girls academy nearby and we had socials. I lost her number when my phone blew up." The former Squib admitted ruefully, "I had hoped she'd agree to be my girl this year but there is nothing I can do about it now. Trying to have a relationship when I'm a wizard violates the Decree of Secrecy. I spent fourteen years without magic I don't want to go back to the Muggle world and pretend it doesn't exist."

"Wise boy." Sirius smirked.

"So if I had a girl and I wanted to have sex it's okay if she's willing and I'm safe about it?" Dudley asked.

"Be careful going with pureblood witches. If you have an accident their fathers or the Head of their Family will force you to bond." Sirius warned.

"Noted." Dudley swallowed.

"Well then you're released. I believe you have a Transfiguration lesson."

A voice came from the Dinning Room.

"Sirius?"

Sirius groaned, "Coming Minerva." He existed the room and scowled at the Deputy Headmistress. "You wanted me?"

Fred and Dudley tried to sneak out.

"Mr. Dursley." Minerva snapped.

"It's Tonks." Dudley said quietly.

"Adopted then?"

"Blood adopted." Sirius corrected pleasantly.

"Well then, I merely came to tell you that your exams will be in two days on the fifteenth. Filius, Pomona, Severus and Aurora agreed to oversee your exams. I will escort you to Hogwarts and give you your History of Magic and Transfiguration exams. Remus will give you a Defense exam as well. The other professors have taken the time from their summers to test you so I suggest you not waste our time." Minerva frowned at him.

Dudley gave her a fake smile, "You really think with a mother like Andromeda I would be allowed to fool around? She takes my marks seriously and I am under orders to do well."

"We shall see. If you pass these exams the other professors have agreed to allow you to sit the Second year exams on the twenty-seventh. If you pass you will be allowed attend as a Third Year." Minerva sniffed, "I know that this whole situation is out of the ordinary. However I fail to see how one can learn two years worth of material in so short a time. A year in ten days? Another in twelve?"

"Well being a fifteen year old first year would be a horror don't you think?" Sirius smirked.

"We shall see." The stern witch left them.

Dudley swallowed, "I hope she's not my Head of House."

"Well with a Slytherin adopted mother and Hufflepuff for a father who knows where you might end up. Your aunt Lily was a Gryffindor but she might have done well in Ravenclaw." Sirius mused.

Fred and Dudley headed off to practice Transfiguration in the front parlour.

XoooooX

Andromeda led Hermione into Bacchean Alley, a side street off Diagon where the more erotic sort of shops were.

They stopped in Aphrodite's Girdles and picked up sexy underwear for the blushing Gryffindor.

Every young woman deserved things that made her feel sexy and made her lover wild.

They picked up a few potions that one could only pick up in Bacchean morning after potions and contraception ones.

"I will teach you to brew your own but just in cause. There are daily potions, monthly and biannually. You should discuss with your lover, which would be best. Charms are only potent for a few hours at most." Andromeda warned. "Often I advise the witch to make the choice themselves but perhaps you would prefer to talk about it. Especially if you are serious about him."

Hermione blushed, "I do like him. He has a little bit of the bad boy streak but he is smarter then I suspected. He's fun to talk to…"

"Amoung other things." Andromeda snickered.

"He can sing..." Hermione blushed.

"Another one of his charms perhaps." The healer shrugged.

Hermione swallowed, "One of them…"

Andromeda showed her around some more and even took her into a store that sold sex toys. She even told her how they worked, why and which were meant for witches.

By the time they returned to Grimmauld Hermione was as red faced as Fred's hair.

Andromeda went to fetch Dudley for a potions' lesson while Hermione went to take a very cold shower…


	20. Exams

**A/N and Disclaimers.**

Once again thank you to our readers and reviewers! Happy birthday to kusanosakura. btw anyone interested in seeing what the New Grimmauld looks like can add her fanfiction facebook and check it our. the address should be found on her profile.

Also in reference to a comment about the smoking in this story it figures into the Plot. The pipes and the choice of tobacco smoked by each character is essential to reveal what sort of person they are. While the characters do drink under-age we do not recommend such behavior. Smoking is not illegal in this universe for under-age persons. and we don't recommend under-age smoking either.

**Chapter 18**

Remus woke Dudley purposely being nosy to disturb Ron whom he disliked for trying to attack Harry. He was preferable as petrified weasel then as troublesome arrogant teenager. He was completely insufferable.

They met Minerva at eight in the Receiving Room. She escorted them through the floo to Hogwarts. They emerged in her private office near her classroom on the ground floor near the Transfiguration Courtyard.

"Your first exam will be Transfiguration. Since you have not been in my classes I have not seen your spell work."

Dudley pulled out a stack of essays, "A benefit of being tutored by Hermione and Fred. They kicked my arse to write at least half of the first year essays. My spelling is atrocious and my handwriting illegible. They taught me spelling correction charms and a handwriting charm that are both reversible. If you wish to see what I wrote before it was corrected its fine." He shrugged, "Hermione reckons I have a writing disorder not unlike dyslexia."

Minerva accepted them and pointed at a set of objects.

Dudley successfully transfigured a rat to a goblet, reversed the transfiguration and then to snuff boxes that looked very much like the one that George owned that contained something called Wartcap powder whatever that was

The deck became a pig that became a crystal goblet. He successfully transfigured a match to needle and switched the pig for an owl.

Dudley was a bit smug, "What do you think? Did I pass?"

"You did alright. I shall have to examine your essays." Minerva sniffed.

Remus turned to her, "Where to next?"

"Filius is up the staircase that's down the Corridor. He's waiting."

Dudley and Remus went to leave.

"Wait. Pop question."

Dudley turned, "Yes?"

"The Transfiguration formula."

Dudley restrained himself from rolling his eyes, she was trying to intimidate him, "An intended transformation is directly influenced by (a) bodyweight, (v) viciousness, (w) wand power, (c) concentration, and (Z) a fifth unknown variable."

Minerva explained what the variable of 'Z' was.

Dudley nodded, "Trust a Transfiguration Mistress to remember something like that. Like you said, I've only been studying magic for ten days. You can't possibly expect me to remember everything."

"I shall review and grade your essays."

"Thanks and good day." Dudley said leaving the classroom. He did not like her much…

Remus led him on to Filius' classroom, which was 2E despite being on the third floor.

"Dudley Tonks? My, my I taught your adopted parents and your aunt. Both were phenomenal at my branch of Study. Andromeda became a respected healer and Lily went on to work for the Department of Experimental Charms as a researcher." Filius said shaking his hand. "Your cousin is talented as well, when he isn't being distracted by Mr. Weasley of course."

"The way the summer is going you shan't have to deal with that. They hardly speak." Dudley shrugged, "About my exam?"

"Yes well now I normally have seen students work in class all year so I just have a pineapple." Filius frowned.

"I learned all sort of cool charms from Remus." Dudley grinned, "What do you want to see?"

"Now Remus was another outstanding student. He was utterly wasted as a Defense Instructor. He may know the subject but he gifted at the subject of Charms. Severus was the only duellist who ever really beat me and he did so the first time at fifteen. He's a fine potion master but he could have gone farther with duelling." Filius sighed.

"I have essays. It was part of my studying, between Hermione and Remus they made sure I completed a number of the assigned essays to prove I know the subject." Dudley offered handing over a shrunken stack of essays, "They were only edited for errors and my dreadful handwriting."

"How ingenious. I wish I'd thought to ask the whole situation is quite unusual and I hadn't really had much of a change to decide how to test you. I merely pulled out a handful of props from a few of the memorable lesions." Filius skimmed the essays, "I think you'll do quite well."

Dudley retrieved his wand from his sleeve and pointed it at the feather. "Wingardium Leviosa."

It soared into the air at first cast and danced in circles until he cast a finite at it, which caused it to flutter to the tabletop.

Filius clapped, "Well done! Remus I knew you should be teaching this class!"

Dudley held his wand up and spoke, "Lumos."

His wand tip lit up magnificently nearly blinding them.

"Oh sorry. Nox." Dudley blushed; he'd overpowered it again.

"Why don't you burn the feather young man?" Filius advised.

Dudley pointed his wand at it, "Incendio."

It ignited and soon disappeared into ash.

"Spongify." Dudley cast at the table and the pineapple slowly bobbed like it was on a trampoline.

"I know you used the tap dancing charm on a textbook at the Council of Magical Law but might I have a look?" Filius asked.

Smirking, Dudley cast the spell before ending the charm on the table.

It was quite funny to see the pineapple trying to dance on an unfirm surface.

The three laughed.

"Mr. Tonks you will be a delight. Almost as fun as watching Lily and Remus in class or even Ted; I taught them all. I haven't been here as long as Albus but I have been here the second longest. I predated Minerva and Pomona though to be fair Minerva started just two years after graduation. Such a shame poor woman…" Filius gave them a forced smile, "Well happier thoughts. I'll have a look at these essays but I think that you'll pass with an Exceeds Expectations for you have but without the essays you're bordering on Outstanding already."

"Who is next?"

"Minerva will be last for History of Magic. She had to write the exam due to the pathetic excuse that Binns arranged. The textbook ends at 1950 and he texts on something in 1962? Bah! He should be replaced. He died during Dippet's tenure and was never replaced." The Charms Master grumbled. "Aurora had me charm the ceiling to look like the night sky. Over each house are the stars for a single season. She wanted to give them impression of astronomy. She's next. Then Severus and Pomona."

"I suppose I'm after Pomona then?"

"Yes. The test is waiting in your old classroom." Filius replied.

Remus nodded, "Off to the Great Hall then."

It was just nine now, the two wizards hurried.

Remus smiled at Aurora Sinistra whom had been a bit older then he was but they were now former colleagues. "Aurora."

"Remus. Mr. Tonks, your test is on the sol system. Using the quill and ink provided please fill in the planets and what moons you remember." A slim but yet beautiful black woman instructed.

Dudley nodded sitting down at the second table where the test was laid out.

Sol.

Mercury.

No moon.

Venus.

No moon.

Earth/Terra.

1 moon:

Luna

Mars

2 Moons:

Deimos

Phobos

Ceres

No moon.

Jupiter.

Andromeda had said there were 64 but likely only 16 would be expected.

Adrastea

Amalthea

Ananke

Callisto

Carme

Elara

Europa

Ganymede

Himalia

Io

Leda

Lysithea

Metis

Pasiphae

Sinope

Thebe

Themisto

So he listed seventeen rather than sixteen, that ought to give him more points right? And it would please his mother.

Next was Saturn of course.

Atlas

Calypso

Dione

Enceladus

Epimetheus

Helene

Hyperion

Iapetus

Janus

Mimas

Pan

Pandora

Prometheus

Rhea

Telesto

Thethys

Titan

There were 62 but he had seventeen. They usually asked for twelve.

It was helpful that the Blacks were obsessed with astronomy…

Uranus was next and it had twenty-seven

Ariel

Belinda

Bianca

Cordelia

Cressida

Desdemona

Juliet

Miranda

Oberon

Orphelia

Perdita

Portia

Puck

Rosalind

Titania

Umbriel

That made sixteen.

Neptune had thirteen.

Despina

Galatea

Larissa

Naiad

Nereid

Proteus

Thalassa

Triton

They wanted seven and he gave them eight.

Pluto had five.

Charon

Nyx

Hydra

Morpheus

Cerberus

Eris had one.

Dysnomia

Makemake

No moons.

Haumea

Two moons:

Hi'iaka

Namaka

Unlike his Muggle science classes Andromeda said there were fourteen planets.

The last was Typhon, which had two moons

Charybdis

Scylla

Typhon was huge, larger then Jupiter and sometimes altered the orbits of other planets. It was only visible by wizards which led to suspicons that either Muggles weren't advanced enough to see it or it was inhabited by a magical race that allowed it to cloak itself.

Dudley signed his exams with a flourish and then tapped it to adjust his atrocious spelling. He also altered his handwriting to be legible.

"What are you doing Mr. Tonks?"

"Fixing my spelling and making it readable." Dudley said handing over the exams.

"Surprising. How did you manage to learn all that in ten days?" the woman frowned at him.

"My adopted mother is a Black. Andromeda Tonks? She insisted as the son of a Black I had to learn it. She had me reading books and up late at night to watch the stars." Dudley shrugged.

"Outstanding. You'll pass this subject at least."

Dudley handed over five essays. "I did these as well. They aren't all the essays but a few."

Aurora accepted them. "That will do then. Best to not keep Severus waiting."

A very nervous Remus escorted him down to the dungeons. The werewolf knocked on the door.

A gruff voice came from within. "Enter."

Dudley sighed; he can't be all bad if Remus liked him.

They entered together.

"Lupin! You did you duty now get out. I won't have you in here. The only brewers worse then you are Pettigrew and Longbottom."

The werewolf sigh, "Nice to see you too Severus. I'll be outside Dudley. Good luck."

"He'll need it." Snape sneered.

All false bravado, Dudley noticed. The man actually looked pained when Remus left shutting the door behind him without a protest.

"I heard Andromeda taught you."

"Mother is very good. First Class."

"Well." Severus sneered, "We'll see if you live up to her."

Dudley was quizzed on the twelve uses of dragons blood, ordered to retrieve the ingredients for Wiggenweld Potion, and asked about Aconite, Bezoars and what an infusion of wormwood and powdered asphodel would made.

He answered them calmly not being intimidated by the man. He swore his mother invented intimidation.

"Very well now brew the Forgetfulness potion."

With clear concise gestures taught by Andromeda, Dudley selected his ingredients, arranged them in order of usage and prepared them in the proper form. He heated the cauldron checking it with thermometer charms before correctly adding and mixing the ingredients. When it was finished without any mistakes he bottled it and escorted it to his proctor.

Severus Snape sneered at him, "You seem to be alright at the subject."

"Andromeda made me do these." Dudley handed over seven essays on potions that Hermione and Andromeda remembered.

Severus snatched them, "At least you're writing isn't as horrid as your cousin's."

Dudley smirked, "Oh it is. This is after spelling correction charms and handwriting adjusting charms. You wouldn't be able to read it at all without them. I never was any good at spelling. We typed our papers at Smeltings. I didn't really learn how to write essays until then because they were stricter there then at St. Gregory's. Then again I used to disrupt class then. It wasn't until I realized how much I didn't learn that I started to buckle down and pay attention."

"A pity someone related to Lily would be a poor student then again Petunia wasn't very academically inclined and was extremely jealous of Lily." Severus grumbled.

"You knew Petunia?" Dudley frown.

"We lived in the same town and went to the same primary school. Lily and I were friends from the time we were seven. I was the first person to tell her she was a witch." The potions master shrugged.

"Were you friends forever? Why doesn't Harry like you or know this? He never mentioned it." Dudley frowned.

"I don't treat my students any better or worse for knowing they're parents. Mr. Potter is spoilt attention seeking, rule breaking gloryhound."

"Harry's not spoilt. He was starved and kept in a cupboard. He worked like a house elf. He had my hand-me-downs; he never had anything of his own until he came here. Vernon used to smack him around. After your lot came into the picture with his letters, he got my second bedroom that was full of junk."

"What are you talking about?" Severus stared at him.

"He's my cousin and I wasn't always nice to him. My parents wanted me to hate him. They took me on expensive trips and we left him with Ms. Figg. He never had a decent birthday present or even a Christmas present. He had old socks; a wire hanger and other junk but not like me. I had all sort of crap I broke or didn't use. All of which was tossed in the room Harry slept in. He was still sleeping in my old coverable toddler bed when the Order took him away for good. He had a lock on his door and bars in the windows. Vernon was a bit mad I think." Dudley shrugged.

"You can't be serious. Surely, Albus would have taken him away." The Death Eater spy glared.

"He didn't even bother to get Harry off when he knew he was innocent. No he just let the Ministry try him illegally for saving us. Morons." The former boxer grumbled.

"Get off with you and take your tales with you."

"If you don't believe me you can go check out the house yourself." Dudley said making his way outside.

"How did it go?" Remus asked nervously.

"I lectured him about his obviously misconceptions about Harry and he told me to get out." Dudley frowned.

"He thinks Harry is just like James however I fail to see it. Harry hasn't singled out any Slytherins for torture, torment and pranking." Remus sighed.

They made their way out to the green house where Dudley met the Herbology Professor.

"My my, the boy of the year. Ready to be quizzed?"

Dudley identified all of the plants he was asked to and had to use Incendio to subdue the Devil's Snare that tried to attack him.

He handed off his Herbology essays and was bid farewell.

Dudley then was taken back to the third floor where the Defence against the Dark Arts exam would be held.

Remus conjured dummies and asked Dudley to show his spellwork by casting the Curse of the Bogies, the Knockback jinx and Verdimillious.

The Lumos had already been successfully demonstrated to Filius.

Then Remus asked him to explain the process of diagnosing and treating werewolf bites.

Remus patted the large boy's shoulder, "Outstanding."

Dudley handed over the essays that Sirius had assigned from the list Hermione gave him.

"I'll read these and tell you what I think of them. Now it's back to Minerva to sit your History of Magic exam."

They returned to Minerva who was bit surprised to see them.

"Finished already?"

Remus nodded.

"Very well the history exam is on that desk." Minerva waved and turned back to his essays.

Dudley examined it.

It wasn't about self-stirring cauldrons that was for sure. Rather it was something from the textbook at least.

It was a list of five essay questions on the Soap Blizzard of 1378, Werewolf Code of Conduct, Emeric the Evil, Uric the Oddball and Elfric the Eager.

He had to answer three so he chose the Soap Blizzard of 1378, the Werewolf Code of Conduct and Elfric the Eager.

Dudley finished them with a tired groan and tapped the exam with his wand to correct his spelling and alter his handwriting to something legible.

Then he handed the essay to the Transfiguration Mistress.

He handed her the seven essays that Hermione had assigned him.

"Very well. You will be informed of your results tomorrow. If you receive at least Acceptables you will be allowed to sit exams on the twenty-seventh."

Dudley was starving when they flooed back to Grimmauld for what felt like a late lunch.

His teenage tutors were all excited and babbled questions at him about what his exams were and how they differed from the ones they'd had.

"Children! Give him a break. I think he deserves a reward for his hard work. He has the day off from studying." Andromeda ordered.

Dudley gave her a grateful and worshipful look.

"Instead he may have his first Flying lesson. Whether he is officially a third year or a second year he may have his own broom. He might as well have a lesson. After all, every witch or wizard should know how to fly whether they enjoy it or not." Andromeda smirked.


	21. Flying lessons from the Weasleys

**A/N and Disclaimers. hey guys, i know ive been gone forever... you may begin the arrows to the knee. *hides*. RL kicked in and i had to jump on and molest an oppertunity that could not be missed. i get to open my own shop! *squee* it'll be tough. lots of hard work. so i ask you lovely peoples to bear with me (hopefully the hugs not the claws) as i have no intention of abandoning this story. and even should i have to take an extended leave of awayness, the always wonderful Kusanosakura and i remain in communication so she can take the reins. (as much as i hate to put the extra burden on her.) now, THANK YOU to all the darling reviewers and to all those that have stuck by. now, on to a few new chapters eh?  
**

**Chapter 19**

After lunch a very excited Dudley hurried up to his room to fetch his broom from under the bed.

Ron having little else to do followed him, "Why do you have that broom?"

"Harry thought I needed a broom. He said he learned on a Nimbus and it was good for a beginner. Since I've always been good a Phys Ed he thought I'd be decent at it." Dudley shrugged, "Why do you care?"

"My prefect gift was supposed to be my own broom. But I'm going to need another wand. Dad won't tell me what sort of wand I'll have." Ron pouted. "I got a new one last time but it was only a Kindle because they couldn't afford an Ollivander."

"With your behaviour prefect or not you don't deserve a new wand." Dudley sniffed as he left.

"Like you're much better." Ron hollered after him.

"At least I'm trying to mend my ways." Dudley muttered as he headed out to the cleared backyard.

Well Harry's temper had a few good results.

The twins were up on their new brooms testing them out and Harry was up doing dizzying antics on that broom he called a Firebolt.

Harry grinned, "Just a minute."

Then he did a spectacular dive that had Dudley's heart in his throat.

George shouted, "Damn it Harry! I know you're talented but fuck! That's a Wronski Feint, the most dangerous move in Quidditch."

Dudley watched stunned when Harry managed to pull up three feet from the ground and then his cousin landed.

George scowled at him when he joined him on the ground. "Idiot, you're not Krum!"

"How am I going to get anything like him if I don't practice?" Harry scoffed.

"You're not a professional Quidditch player!" George snapped.

"I don't want to be one! I think I'll become a snake breeder. Knowing I own that snake shop and those books on snakes made me think about. You're a damn fine Beater but you won't consider flying anymore then Charlie!" Harry tossed back.

Fred groaned, "Stop yelling. Merlin! It's just a stunt. He wasn't hurt. It's not like the time when his Nimbus was cursed and he was almost thrown seventy feet to the ground. Or the time when the Bludger went nuts and tried to kill him and he ended up with a broken arm or the time when he fell off in the storm. When he's not affected by curses, mad Bludgers or storms he's a keen Seeker. The youngest in a century, remember?"

George pouted.

"You're just miffed if he'd hurt you'll be blamed or what not. Like he'd be banned by Andromeda from sex if that happened." Fred scoffed.

George turned red, "That's not true! He's just my friend. I don't want him to put himself in danger! Between threats related to old Snakeface every year and the Dursleys I don't think he should risk his life anymore then he has to!"

Hermione chuckled, "You're both crazy."

"Just because you don't like flying don't pretend to know anything." Harry glared.

"I might not enjoy flying but I enjoy the sport. I just prefer to keep my feet on the ground. I'm not like Percy with two left feet when it comes to flying." Hermione snorted.

"How did you know that?" Fred frowned.

"I might have over heard Oliver teasing him once." Hermione shrugged.

Dudley cleared his throat, "If you are quite through I thought I had a flying lesson."

The twins and Harry crowded near him and showed him how to mount his broom, how to grip the broom handle and where so he'd have the most control.

Dudley watched curious, nervously copying their gestures and positions.

Hermione had a dreary old blanket that she'd used to sprawl out with a few books.

Perhaps she was plotting for his lessons already.

Dudley ignored her, putting studying out of his head.

XoooooX

The three Gryffindor Quidditch team members taught Dudley how fly and found the boy was a natural.

"Well now…he reminds me of Sirius on a broom."

The four looked down to see Remus watching them.

Under Remus' left arm was a crate of Quidditch balls and in his hand was a Nimbus 2001.

Sirius who was standing beside him had a Firebolt.

Harry called out, "When did you two have brooms?"

Remus grumbled, "Sirius made me go buy them. I was to buy two Firebolts but I chose a cheaper model. At that price I was not spending that much on a broom. Especially with the cost of a deluxe practice Quidditch set."

"What's a deluxe?" Fred asked.

"It comes it all the normal Quidditch stuff but has two sets of Beater bats." Remus shrugged. "It's a bit boring for a Quidditch match right now but Charlie is due back from Romania about the time of Dudley's second set of exams. He's a former seeker. We can have a real match then if we can scrounge up some Keepers."

"Why don't we ask Bill and maybe Oliver? Ollie maybe a Quidditch fiend but he is a decent wizard. He'd be a set of eyes in the Quidditch circles." Fred offered.

"Well what are we going to do since we're a few short?" Harry asked curious.

"Toss the Quaffle around. Something like Muggle Volleyball or Keep away."

Dudley smirked, "I always was very good at Keep Away."

"Not hard when you tower over people you big lummox." Harry grumbled.

"Well you still could grow. You can't possible stay 5'1" forever."

"I'm 5'2" you idiot!" Harry glared.

"My mistake." Dudley laughed.

The Quaffle was released and the wizards set out to play.

Remus, Sirius and Harry versus Fred, Dudley and George started to play.

Hermione paused in her reading to glance up every so often to watch them because they were laughing loudly.


	22. Weasley shopping & Revenge

**A/N and Disclaimers.**

**Chapter 20**

The day after Dudley's tests August 16th, Arthur had to take his youngest shopping.

Since Ginny had been left behind when the Order took Harry to go shopping for school things with the twins and Hermione Arthur had to take Ron and Ginny.

To his complete annoyance, Molly insisted on attending.

The only problem was that Ron required a new wand and the Diagon Alley wandshops had been informed Molly's wand right had been suspended despite her having need of a new one due to the accidentally destruction of her previous wand.

She was furious about having to cook and clean the Muggle way.

Molly was lazier then he ever realized.

He retrieved Ron and Ginny from Grimmauld and flooing back to the Burrow. They immediately flooed to Diagon Alley picking up used copies of Ron's new Transfiguration text and there was thankfully one copy of the defence test in the second hand shop.

Ron pouted, "It's all Harry's fault. I wanted a new broom for my prefect reward."

"Perhaps for your birthday or as a reward for passing your OWLS. You should focus on your marks this year." Molly soothed him.

"It's not fair! I don't want a new wand!" Ron grumbled.

"You could go without." Arthur said tersely.

Molly gaped at him, "Arthur!"

"I was just saying that if he kept complaining he could stay home this year and be a fifth year with Ginny the following September."

They had to visit a second-hand robe shop to pick up robes for Ron and Ginny.

If Ron wasn't such a stick he could wear his brothers' old robes but they were too patched to retain another charm.

He worked hard but never saw much of his money having entrusted it to Molly. They were usually living from one-month pay to then next.

Arthur had been the almost spoilt heir once upon a time but his disgrace had gotten him in trouble.

How Molly managed to survive with so little when she was once the pampered only heiress of the Prewett he didn't know.

No wonder the witch was insufferable…

They headed to another second hand shop…

Ron groaned, "Please Dad no…even a Kindle would be better."

"Thanks to your mother I don't have money for a new wand. I save a little every month for school things."

"You should have more since Fred and George bought their own stuff." Ron glared.

"I have to pay for your mother's sessions with Ted."

"I don't need them." Molly sniffed.

"That's for Ted to decide, unless you want to join Lockhart and the Longbottoms." Arthur glared.

"He wouldn't dare." Molly glared

"Believe what you want but I won't spend any money on a wand for you without permission."

"Coward." Molly snipped.

"I'm trying to keep you out of St. Mungos." Arthur glared. "Stay out here with Ginny. Ginny if you give your mother your wand for any reason I will take it until I deliver you to the train."

"What do you think I'll do? Use it to try to cast a glamour?" Molly glared.

"I couldn't cast a working glamour on that. It's something that will no doubt wear off in time."

"It's embarrassing." Molly whinged.

"Well if you hadn't been being an idiot it wouldn't happened." Arthur chided pushing Ron into the second-hand wands shop.

"Well now how can I help you?"

"My son is in need of his third wand." Arthur grumbled.

"Previous wand?" the man asked.

"His first was a 12" Ash and unicorn hair while the second was a 14"Willow and unicorn hair."

"Well that's interesting. They have nothing in common." The man frowned. "I'm not Ollivander but what are his best subjects?"

"Care of Magic Creations and Defence." Ron sneered.

Arthur pinched his shoulder and was rewarded with a glare.

"I haven't any Holly they sell out quickly."

"I don't want a wand like Dudley or Harry the gits." Ron snorted.

"You'll accept the first wand that accepts you." Arthur snapped.

The man handed him wand after wand until one sparked weakly.

"Let me see that." The man snatched it back, "7 ¾ brittle Bowtruckle and Sequoia. An Auror won it in a duel and sold it to me. It's not a decent wand. A pity, Ollivander says that shorter wands usually imply some weakness of character that must be overcome."

Arthur snorted, "Somehow it seems quite fitting."

Ron glared.

Arthur paid the galleon and ten sickles asked. It was better then the amount that the twins spent on their wands.

XoooooX

Knowing Ron would no doubt end up in their shared room while he was having his Charms lessons with Remus and his Defence ones with Sirius Dudley plotted revenge.

He removed the silencing charms knowing that George and Harry would no doubt end up here this afternoon. Those two were worse sex fiends then Hermione and Fred.

He caught George on the staircase and whispered his plan.

George turned red and nodded. "Sure. It would torment Ickly Prefect Ronnikins and hopefully send him running back to The Burrow."

Dudley slapped his on the back, "Thanks a lot. Your assistance is appreciated. Using you like this is my revenge."

George frowned, "Revenge for what?"

Dudley leaved over, "For letting me hear you whilst I was trying to study charms. I took down my silencing charms so he has to listen. Since I took all my charms things unless he knows silencing spells or privacy wards he's screwed the git."

George swallowed, "After the lecture from Remus I'm not sure how keen Harry will be on it."

"How keen I'll be on what?"

"Dudley's prank on Ronnikin's." George shrugged.

"Oh? Do tell." Harry smirked, leaning in conspiratorially

Dudley whispered, "I took town the silencing charms on my room. I figured you'd head up for sex while I've got Remus and Sirius distracted with my lessons."

Harry snickered, "Oh he won't like that I'm stuffing George."

The front door slammed.

"Look who is probably back?" George muttered.

Ron ran up the stairs stomping and muttering loud enough to be heard.

Dudley saluted the pair, "That's my cue to make myself scarce and yours to put the prank in action."

The three split up.

Dudley sniggered when Ron gave him a death glare before heading off to tutoring.

XoooooX

Harry flung George into the bedroom door at least casting a locking charm before snogging the Beater.

George banished their clothes to hang over the desk's chair, and leaving down a bit painfully to snog the Seeker.

Harry grumbled, "Fuck you're too damn tall."

George wisely kept his mouth shut about Harry being a foot shorter, pausing to cast charms to prepare himself.

They were both pretty randy when Harry sunk into George's arse.

"Fuck! It feels so good when you're inside me."

"Since we're just in it for the sex you probably say that to everyone."

"Only had two guys before; Page and I fumbled for a while. But Diggory the git wasn't as great between the sheets as he thought he was."

"Enough about your previous lovers." Harry muttered before starting an almost brutal rhythm that had George hissing and shouting with pleasure…

They were cursing like wild cats, while George rocked into his thrusts.

XoooooX

Ron's fuming was interrupted when something hard was thrown into the door of Harry's room.

_"Fuck you're too damn tall."_

What the hell!

There were more fumbling sounds…

_"Fuck! It feels so good when you're inside me."_

_"Since we're just in it for the sex you probably say that to everyone."_

_"Only had two guys before; Page and fumbled for a while. But Diggory the git wasn't as great between the sheets as he thought he was."_

_"Enough about your previous lovers..." _

Merlin Harry and George were bent? That was disgusting!

Why weren't they at least smart enough to remember to use silencing charms?

Wait if he didn't know any why would Harry?

This sucked…

To make it worse when he tried to open the bedroom door it was locked.

That stupid ex-Mudblood! He'd kill him as he slept for this…

He hated Dudley Tonks…

He hated Harry for stuffing his nasty brother.

The twins probably switched places and took turns with Harry and Hermione. The gits were probably just screwing with his former friends; he wouldn't even feel sorry for them. They were probably just asking for it.

Who the hell was Page and why would Diggory want George when he had Chang? Mum was right George was liar…


	23. New leaves turning

**A/N and Disclaimers.**

**Chapter 21**

Severus grumbled and pouted while Andromeda's adopted son's scornful words were turning in his head.

How could he have been so wrong about Potter?

He had struggled to disbelieve the former nephew of his childhood friend Lily…

Now standing here in the form of an animal…

His animagus form was that of a silver fox but he couldn't sneak into a magically sealed house that way.

It was labelled condemned since the wiring was destroyed…

It was enterable by Aurors, knowing the magical signatures of several Aurors through the Order it wasn't hard to adjust his own and slip in when he made the back door transparent.

He padded around as a cat not unlike Minerva's tabby having effortlessly transfigured his fox into a house cat.

He opened the cupboard under the stairs and found dusty signs of former habitation. A ratty blanket, a cot and a folded blanket in a pillow case that was clearly meant to serve as a pillow. There were a few green army men and a childish scrawl of a picture. It had two dark haired persons with green eyes holding hands with a small boy that he assumed was supposed to be Harry himself.

Severus fell back on his arse; barely remember to swish his tail out of the way before he sat on it.

Dudley was right…

Almost afraid of what he would find in the 'bedroom' that the boy inhabited since his Hogwarts letter arrived; Severus made his way up the stairs carefully and then he easily found a door with a cat flap in it.

He entered to find it 'clean' but filled with broken junk that ought to have been put out in the bin.

There was the convertible toddler bed, a broken telly and a great many other pieces of discarded junk.

There were bars in the windows…

Severus plodded almost drunkenly out of the House and Apparated to the last place he would have gone he were of a saner mindset.

Grimmauld Place…

He ended up exiting the Drawing Room floo and the first person he saw was his enemy Black.

Sirius Black sneered at him and then seemed to think better of it because he sighed, "Probably shouldn't do that. You look a bit green and I'm not really in the mood to fight with Remus."

"What are you talking about?" Severus snapped.

"I think you know that Remus never was involved with the so-called prank. It wasn't really a prank. It was thoughtless and I should have gotten in more trouble for it. I might have gotten you killed and Remus in trouble. I didn't know you two were a couple. James and I thought you liked Lily. Remus said if we had one iota of sense between us we would have know better. I thought scaring you away would keep you from Lily."

Severus blinked at him, "You are _apologizing_?"

Sirius groaned, "Yes…for reasons I can't and don't wish to understand because my only surviving friend likes you of all people. As a good friend I at least have to attempt to treat you politely. I just don't have to like you."

"You're serious? Remus wasn't involved?"

"Of course not, and for the record James was epically furious with me for it, he shook me until my brains rattled and punched me. He was furious and panicked that Lily would learn of it. He was terrified she'd think he was involved…"

"So he wasn't in on it either?" Severus said dumbly.

"Of course not! He never was as into tormenting you as I was. Especially when Lily showed up and lectured him for tormenting you and then he was completely distracted." Sirius shrugged then he gave Severus a piercing look. "What is wrong with you? Should I call Annie? Or Ted? You look ill…"

"I saw the conditions that Pot…Harry lived in. I thought he was a spoilt brat like his father…I was wrong."

Sirius laughed woodenly, "It happens to the best of us. I swore the rat could be trusted. We know how wrong I was, do we not?"

"Hm…"

"If you don't want Annie or Ted, I'll send Remus in." Sirius said rising.

Severus didn't say a word as he collapsed on the silver lime wood and black velvet settee.

Sirius shrugged and left him behind.

XoooooX

Sirius made his way across the hall to the library.

Remus and Dudley looked up.

"Is it time for my Defence lesson already?" Dudley asked frowning.

Sirius nodded, "For the moment yes. Remus has a visitor. They are in the parlour. No, I did not call them names and I have not insulted them. He's in shock…I think he came here wanting to talk to you…"

Remus rose frowning, "Severus? He's here?"

Sirius nodded.

Remus left the room in a sort of daze.

Sirius turned to his pupil, "Where is your homework?"

Dudley summoned his defence text.

Sirius was using Hermione's old book '_Confronting the Faceless'_ as his textbook.

He had attached his essay with light sticking charms.

XoooooX

Remus entered the Drawing Room and found Severus with his face in his hands.

He gingerly sat beside him.

"Surprised the git didn't send Harry." Severus muttered.

"He sent me. He thought maybe you came to see me." Remus said quietly. "I think he's probably wrong."

"He said you had nothing to do with the 'first incident in the Shrieking Shack'…"

Remus blinked, "What? He said he wouldn't tell you that…"

"Well he did. Didn't even call me that name…he actually _apologized_…"

Remus grinned, "He actually did that? He's a softy beneath his bluster; to think that he could actually be kind to you because he knew I liked you."

"Shocked me…" Severus grumbled.

"So will you tell me what happened that upset you this badly?" Remus asked.

"Only if you tell why in Salazar's name you didn't tell me that you were a werewolf when Black, Pettigrew and Potter knew."

"I didn't tell them either. I was afraid that they wouldn't be my friends anymore. They found out on their own that that was why they became Animagi." Remus sighed, "It was their way of supporting me. Then Sirius went and did what he did…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" Severus repeated.

"I was afraid you wouldn't like me anymore, that you would call me a monster." Remus sighed.

"I would have taken it better if you'd told me instead of learning that way…" Severus grumbled.

'I should have told you. I planned to before we slept together. Then we slept together and I kept putting it off because it wasn't the 'right time'. Then before I knew it you were telling me in the hospital wing that we were over. We were both crushed…the wolf and I.

He became more brutal as if he blamed me, Moony seemed to blame me more then Sirius. Lily couldn't understand why we weren't friends anymore and then there was the incident that broke your friendship. Sirius and James said you finally showed your true colours. I thought you just lost your temper. I didn't think you meant to call her that." Remus admitted ruefully.

"I didn't…it just came out. I forgot where I was. I would never have used that word if I knew how badly she would take. I should have known better. Those two were always tormenting me." Severus mumbled.

"I should have tried harder to stop them. Even as a prefect it was difficult to know how far I could tell them off without jeopardising our friendship. Lily used to tell me to 'grow a pair' or to 'man up'." Remus sighed.

"You should have, you git…" Severus grumbled.

Remus leaned over and for the first time since he was sixteen, he kissed Severus.

Severus grabbed his shirt in his fists, "Damn you. Damn you."

They hung onto each other; as if afraid the other would disappear.

XoooooX

Hermione decided that George and Harry needed to gain some culture and dragged them towards the Drawing Room to give them piano lessons.

Fred was preparing for Dudley's next Transfiguration lesson.

George could see over Hermione's shoulder and he was shrunk dumb at the sight for his former Defence professor and his Potions teacher snogging.

Severus Snape seemed kinder almost.

Harry grumbled, "Stop blocking the door!"

The adults pulled apart.

Severus glowered at them. "What do you want?"

"We just came to…" Hermione stated.

George finished for the flustered girl, smirking, "To be forced to learn how to play the piano. Hermione said we needed 'culture'. I didn't expect that but you make a hot couple."

"Who makes a hot couple? Fucking giants."

"Language Mr. Potter." Severus snapped.

Remus finally found his tongue, "Um why don't we take this conversation somewhere more private."

"Snape and Remus?" Harry called out in shock, "What were you doing snogging?"

"That would be an accurate assessment. You have a problem with that Mr. Potter?"

George snickered, "I doubt it. He likes to pin me down and snog me."

Severus choked, "He's bent?"

George smirked, "Most definitely. My sore arse can attest to that."

Remus coughed, "Too much information George." He rose, "Come on Severus. They'll leave us alone if we depart."

"Fine."

Hermione and George quickly exited the doorway by entering the room and giving the adults a path to the door.

Unfortunately, Harry stood in the doorway with his arms crossed, "Since when were you a couple?"

Remus groaned, "He sounds just like Lily."

Severus frowned at him, "I don't see why that is any of your business Mr. Potter."

Remus sighed, "Really Sev is that any way to talk to him? We were a couple in School during our Sixth Year but we were friends because of Lily. Severus helped me pass my Potions OWL. We broke up because of something Sirius did that Severus thought I was a part of. When if he thought about it, he should have known I wasn't."

"I admit it. I was wrong, about a lot of things. I suppose I owe you an apology too Mr. Potter." Severus admitted grudgingly.

"Merlin! You're not a professor right now. He's the son of your oldest friend. Give it a rest Sev." Remus said exasperated.

"Fine! Harry then. I am sorry I called you a spoilt brat. Your cousin was right and I was wrong. You might have the misfortune of being James Potter's son but I ought to have remembered that you were Lily's son as well."

"You were my mother's friend?" Harry frowned.

"We grew up in the same town and were friends from the time we were seven until we nearly seventeen. If I hadn't accidentally called her that word, we'd have still been friends. It is a shame I have to live with as well as bearing the Dark Mark. I was angry, I was alone and I was a fool when I took this trice-damned mark. I never really wanted to be a Death Eater; if I wasn't needed as a spy I'd quit and go into hiding. I hate that man- if the Dark Lord can still be called that." Severus snapped.

Harry tilted his head, "Were you the one to tell my mum about Dementors?"

Severus nodded sharply, "Of course."

Harry frowned, "Then you're 'that awful boy'?"

Severus snorted, "That was what Petunia called me. She blamed me for her sister being a freak. She didn't want us to play together and tried keep us apart until her mother caught her at it. I spent a lot of time at the Evans' to get away from my parents. That is enough discussion on my sordid past. I still don't like you much Harry."

"The feeling is mutual." Harry glared.

Remus groaned, "Seriously! You're acting like Sirius and Severus stop it! You will please at least be polite. If you can't speak nicely then just don't talk! "

"Fine!" Harry grumbled.

"That is…acceptable."

"Well then Sev I say we leave them the Drawing Room and I'll take you to my room to talk."

George sniggered. "To 'talk'…"

"We are not as rude as you two have been. We have no intention of torturing you with such things. Whether we sleep together or not is our business." Remus left the Drawing Room.

Severus followed, his robes billowing behind him like black wings and his spin ramrod straight.

Harry spotted Skylla, "You two play without me. I'm going talk to Skylla and practice my Parseltongue. Maybe I'll find Andromeda as well. I need to clear my head."

"You didn't see them kissing." Hermione blushed.

"I'm glad I don't have that image in my head…"

"You don't have a photographic memory." Hermione groaned, "I'll be stick with that picture in my head forever."

"Have Ted take it away then." Harry called back as he left.


End file.
